


Fallin' Petals

by Inkandquills, writersstudy



Series: Roleplay Fics [1]
Category: SF9 (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, Cheating, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Getting Together, Hanahaki Disease, Infidelity, M/M, Neighbors, Smut, Strangers to Lovers, Vomiting, also i just realized we used all of them except chani, which i swear was not intentional
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:15:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 66,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24131935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inkandquills/pseuds/Inkandquills, https://archiveofourown.org/users/writersstudy/pseuds/writersstudy
Summary: Youngbin didn't know when he'd let his life get to this point, and he didn't know how to fix it either.
Relationships: Baek Juho | Zuho/Kim Seokwoo | Rowoon, Baek Juho | Zuho/Kim Youngbin, Kim Youngbin/Lee Jaeyoon
Series: Roleplay Fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1256117
Comments: 8
Kudos: 22





	1. Chapter 1

It wasn’t that Youngbin was unhappy with his relationship. It was just that it didn’t quite feel the same anymore. Juho was closed off in ways he hadn’t been since they had first met, and it made him worry. Had he done something wrong? Was his boyfriend suffering through something by himself? Youngbin knew that something was wrong, but he wasn’t quite sure how to fix it.

It was business as usual for Juho, relatively speaking. The only thing different was that he had to start working late a few days, which wasn’t a problem considering his partner for this term’s project was actually quite enjoyable to work with. He knew Youngbin wouldn’t mind considering he had had to do this before.

Youngbin’s stomach felt unsettled every time Juho pulled a late night. He’d been working on this project for months and Youngbin was simply worried about him. His boyfriend wasn’t getting enough sleep for the amount of work he was doing and he was worried that it would come back to bite him in the ass.

Every now and then, Juho would be sure to come home at a normal time. He wanted to make sure that Youngbin wasn’t starting to get suspicious. This would be the first day this week that he was actually home for dinner.

Youngbin was always surprised but glad when Juho managed to make it home early. His boss was really working him to the bone, but Youngbin could never convince him to take a day off.

“Hi, hyung,” Juho greeted simply when he finally entered their apartment, “how was your day?” He hoped he could distract Youngbin enough that he didn’t ask him too many questions about his project. It had been finished weeks ago and he didn’t know how much longer he would be able to convince Youngbin that that’s why he was staying late.

Youngbin shrugged. “Kids are kids,” he said, “it was uneventful. You’re home early.” He was actually a little surprised. If Juho’s boss let him come home early, it was usually toward the end of the week, not on a Wednesday.

"Oh that's good. We haven't gotten a break in a while so my boss let everyone go home on time today," he said nonchalantly, "I'm not sure when it will happen again though." He hoped that was enough to satisfy Youngbin's curiosity.

“How is the project going?” Youngbin asked as he dried his hands and turned the sink off, dishes all cleaned.

"Um, pretty good. A little bit slower than we'd like though," Juho responded. He busied himself making a cup of coffee and carefully made sure that his phone was on silent.

Youngbin hummed. “How’s Seokwoo?” He had only met Juho’s project partner a few times before at company parties, so he didn’t know the younger man well, just that he and Juho were close.

Juho cleared his throat. “He’s fine, taking advantage of the day off,” he answered simply. He kept his back to Youngbin, pretending to be focused on the coffee pot.

“You shouldn’t have coffee so late,” Youngbin said offhand, “what do you want for dinner?”

“It won’t bother me,” Zuho said, “something easy. Maybe just pizza?” He and Seokwoo had gotten a late lunch together because they wouldn’t be staying late, but Zuho didn’t want to admit he wasn’t hungry.

“Can you order? I need a shower.” His job was not physically strenuous, but he was tired and knew a shower would help.

“Sure thing,” Juho agreed. Usually he would join Youngbin in the shower, but now that he had the excuse of needing to wait for food, he didn’t even offer. He finally turned away from the counter and dropped into a seat, mug of coffee in hand.

Youngbin frowned a little bit when Juho simply turned away. Once upon a time, the younger man would never have let him leave a room without at least some affection, but that was unheard of these days.

Juho didn’t miss the look of disappointment that flashed across Youngbin’s face. He felt a little guilty, but he was more worried. If he wasn’t more careful, he would get caught.

Youngbin took a while in the shower. It wasn't typical for him, but he knew it was going to be awkward when he was back in the room with Juho. When had things devolved so much?

Juho ordered the pizza and leaned back in the chair. He texted Seokwoo that he had a few minutes to talk and listened for the water to stop running. He had to admit he was a little worried when the pizza had arrived before Youngbin was out of the bathroom. He pocketed the phone and went to knock on the door. “Hey, hyung, are you okay? You’ve been in there a while and the pizza’s gonna get cold,” he said.

“I’ll be out in a minute,” Youngbin called back with a sigh. He shut the water off and toweled himself dry. Once he was dressed, he made his way back to the kitchen, not at all excited.

After putting two plates out, Juho had sat himself back at the table. When he heard Youngbin coming down the hallway, he quickly texted Seokwoo that he had to go and deleted all of the messages.

Youngbin covered up a yawn as he sat at the table and reached for a slice of pizza. "How much longer is the project?"

“Um, hopefully not much longer. Maybe another couple weeks,” Juho lied. That would at least buy him some time before he had to come up with another excuse.

Youngbin frowned. "Tell your boss that you have a boyfriend that misses you," he grumbled.

“I’ll try, but that doesn’t get our deadline moved,” he said. A pang of guilt washed over him and he sighed sadly. “Let’s take advantage of tonight. I’ll take a quick shower after we eat and then we can do anything you want.

Youngbin merely nodded in agreement and kept eating his pizza. He didn't really know what to say to Juho anymore.

Juho frowned and took a piece of pizza for himself. He didn't take more than a few bites before he dropped it onto his plate and stood up to go take a shower. Between the late lunch and the overwhelming guilt, he wasn't very hungry. All he wanted to do was get into bed and the only thing standing between him and that was a shower.

Youngbin sighed and dropped his pizza when Juho left the room. His head hit the table. He didn't know what to do to make this any less awkward.

Juho just let himself stand under the hot water for a few minutes. He knew he needed to fix this, but he didn't know how. The spark between them was slowly dying and he didn't think he could save it. A small part of him wasn't quite ready to give up, but he knew that wouldn't last much longer. Eventually he pulled himself from the shower and pushed all other thoughts from his head so he could focus on his boyfriend. "Come lay with me," he said with a pout when he reentered the kitchen.

"Let me clean up first," Youngbin said, gathering the leftovers to put in the fridge and wash the dishes. He wasn't really sure what exactly Juho was doing.

Juho waited in the doorframe and watched Youngbin carefully. He knew he couldn't be too clingy, but he had to show at least some affection. The more he thought about it, the more worried he grew. How much longer could he hide his secret without cracking?

Youngbin finished cleaning up and finally turned toward Juho. "Okay," he sighed, "let's go lay down."

Juho smiled victoriously and took Youngbin's hand in his own, practically dragging the older man down the hallway. If there was one part of this arrangement he still enjoyed, it was the cuddles.

Youngbin didn't know if it was just his dampened mood about the day, but he wasn't really looking forward to spending time with his boyfriend. Even if he went to bed, he was usually awake whenever Juho got home, and there were too many nights where the younger man got into bed facing away from him and never said a word.

Juho could tell that Youngbin had no desire to lay with him, but he wasn’t quite sure what to do. He decided to leave it up to the older man. Slowly he climbed into bed and laid on his side, waiting to see what his boyfriend would do.

Youngbin laid down and reached for his book on the nightstand. He left space between himself and Juho, not really knowing if his boyfriend was going to commit to this.

Juho sighed sadly and scooted across the bed. He wrapped an arm over Youngbin’s middle and tucked his head into his boyfriend’s neck.

Youngbin stiffened when Juho wrapped around him. "You don't have to do that," he said quietly, "you usually don't anyway."

Juho sighed and pulled his arm away. He bit his tongue to keep from saying anything. For how much Youngbin claimed to miss him, he didn’t really didn’t seem to want any affection.

Stupidly, Youngbin had kind of hoped that Juho would ignore him and keep holding on. It wasn't that he didn't want the affection; he just didn't want his boyfriend to initiate it if he didn’t want to do it.

Juho debated rolling away, but he knew that would make Youngbin more suspicious. He kept his head tucked into his boyfriend’s neck and closed his eyes. He had nothing to say and there was simply nothing else to do.

“You’re oddly clingy tonight,” Youngbin commented, pulling his attention away from his book. Not that he didn’t like it, but it had been a while.

Juho hummed. “I’ve missed you more than I thought I would,” he mumbled. It wasn’t entirely a lie. He hadn’t lain this close with Youngbin in a long time and he really did miss it.

“I miss you too,” Youngbin said with a sigh. It threw him off a little that Juho hadn’t thought that he’d miss him.

Juho wasn’t comfortable laying with his arm tucked into his side. Instead of wrapping it around Youngbin again, he let it rest against the older man’s chest, careful not to block his book.

Youngbin really actually couldn’t think of the last time Juho had held him like this. It was an upsetting thought.

Juho sighed and snuggled a little closer. He could tell that Youngbin was extremely tense and that made him feel even more guilty. Their relationship was in tatters and it was entirely his fault.

Youngbin sighed and glanced at his watch. It was edging toward late and he was exhausted, so he carefully bookmarked his page and set the novel aside. He laid down more comfortably and reached up to shut off the light.

Juho took a deep breath and wrapped his arm around Youngbin again once he settled down. “Goodnight, hyung,” he murmured.

“Good night,” Youngbin whispered. He was thinking too much about it now. When was the last time Juho had even kissed him? Why was that? Was Juho not attracted to him any longer? Did his boyfriend even love him anymore?

Juho went to work as usual the next day. He almost felt guilty about staying late, but the moment he and Seokwoo slipped into a meeting room after everyone had left, that guilt was quickly forgotten.

Youngbin had a day off for a state holiday, which was nice, except Juho didn’t. His boyfriend was stuck at work and he was bored at home alone.

Juho couldn’t even remember the joke Seokwoo had told by the time he finished laughing. He looked up at his project partner and watched him carefully. He was so enamored by the other man, which was odd; he hadn’t felt this way in a long time.

Youngbin was glad that he had the day off. He was just laying on the couch, but he started feeling nauseous as he laid there, almost like he was going to throw up.

Juho sucked in a breath when he locked eyes with Seokwoo, but he couldn’t bring himself to look away. This shouldn’t be happening, but he wasn’t doing anything to stop it. Slowly, Seokwoo made his way across the room towards Juho.

Youngbin felt his nausea just getting worse the longer he laid there. He got off the couch with a groan and got himself a ginger ale out of the fridge. Hopefully, it would help.

Seokwoo wasn’t more than a few inches away when Juho put his hand on the other man’s chest, stopping him. “We can’t do this,” he whispered. “Why not?” Seokwoo answered, “let Youngbin go and then we can be happy.” Juho froze. Why _hadn’t_ he broken things off with his boyfriend yet? All the love he had felt for the older man had been redirected, so what was he hanging onto?

Youngbin hadn't taken more than a few sips before he was leaning over the sink and throwing up everything he had just swallowed. To his surprise and absolute horror, there was a tiny blue flower among the bile and ginger ale. Where the fuck did that come from? And what did it mean?

“I’ll break things off with Youngbin hyung,” Juho said. And he had every intent of doing that, until he got home. When he walked into the apartment, he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Why was this so hard when there was nothing to hold on to?

Youngbin hadn't thrown up again since the first time, but he had done a lot of research. There weren't a lot of resources on throwing up random flowers out of nowhere, but he had at least identified the flower as nightshade. That didn't bode well.

The only thing Zuho cared about was finding his boyfriend. He kicked his shoes off and quickly found Youngbin in the living room. He dropped onto the couch and snuggled up to his boyfriend, not even paying attention to what was on his laptop. They had been together so long that Juho had always assumed they would stay together, but suddenly their future seemed cloudy, and it scared him.

It had taken Youngbin digging through three pages of Google results before he finally found something that kind of described his predicament. Hanahaki disease. It wasn't a real disease, according to the website, but rather a myth, which involved a person throwing up flowers when their loved one fell in love with someone else. Youngbin quickly closed the page. It was a myth.

Juho didn’t know what to think or what to do. All he could do was press himself close to Youngbin and hold onto the older man. His arms came to wrap around his boyfriend’s bicep and he clung on like his life depended on it. It wasn’t fair to Youngbin for them to stay together so why couldn’t he let go? Keeping his eyes closed, Juho tucked his head into Youngbin’s shoulder. “How was your day, hyung?” he asked shakily.

"Weird," Youngbin mumbled, distracted as he kept searching, "I got sick." He didn't really want to talk about it with Juho, but he didn't seem to have any other choice.

“You got sick?” Juho asked concernedly as he picked his head up, “do you need me to do anything?” He was glad he had held himself back. He would hate to break things off with Youngbin when he wasn’t feeling well. Juho decided that he would take care of Youngbin and once he felt better, they could break up. He at least owed the older man that much.

"No, it only happened once and it was just weird," Youngbin said, shaking his head. He pulled his arm from Juho's grasp so he could type a new search. Maybe he had completely imagined the entire thing.

Juho wrapped his arms around Youngbin’s waist instead. “I’m sorry, hyung,” he murmured. Of course he felt bad that his boyfriend was sick, but it was so much more than that.

"Not your fault," Youngbin said, although he wasn't at all sure if he really believed that himself. He hadn't found any explanation other than the Hanahaki disease, but he refused to believe that could be true.

Juho sighed sadly. There was a lump in his throat and his heart was beating out of his chest. It was almost as if the last two years never happened, and he hated that. Every time he tried to focus on Youngbin, Seokwoo snuck into his mind. He squeezed his eyes shut and tucked his head into Youngbin’s neck.

"I'm gonna go to bed," Youngbin said with a sigh. He knew it would probably be a few days before he saw Juho again, but he honestly needed the space.

“Hyung...” Juho began, but he quickly trailed off. What was he going to say? There wasn’t anything he could do to fix this so he simply sat back on the couch and watched his boyfriend with sad eyes.

Youngbin trudged into the bedroom and collapsed into bed without even bothering to get changed. He still didn't feel particularly well, and he knew that all this confusion around his relationship with Juho wasn't helping.

Juho toppled over on the couch and curled up in the warm spot that Youngbin had left. He couldn’t stop the tears from falling, but what was he even crying for? Himself? Youngbin? Their ruined relationship? He didn’t know, but he couldn’t bring himself to get up yet, despite how much he wanted to.

Youngbin woke up the next day feeling even more miserable. He didn't feel physically sick, per say, but it felt like all of the doubt in his mind was wrapped around his lungs and squeezing. 

Juho went to work the next day and all but ignored Seokwoo. It was hard to say the least, considering they both knew where his heart lay, but he couldn’t help it. When he was home, he could barely bring himself to look at Youngbin. They were so happy in the beginning so why was his heart pulled more and more towards Seokwoo?

A week passed and Youngbin was feeling worse and worse. He threw up a few more times, sporadically and never when Juho was home. The squeezing sensation in his chest continued to get tighter and tighter and he was starting to get desperate. He wasn't imagining the flowers, and there were more every time he threw up. It seemed like Hanahaki was his only answer, but he didn't want to think about Juho being in love with someone else. It kept him awake even until his boyfriend got home, nearly at midnight, sitting at the kitchen table in the dark.

“Hyung, what are you doing awake?” Juho asked when he walked into the kitchen and saw his boyfriend sitting at the table. He wasn’t expecting Youngbin to be awake and he was a little worried.

Youngbin was pulled out of his thoughts when Juho suddenly spoke. "It's nothing," he said quietly, getting up from the table, "I'm fine."

Juho almost asked again before he stopped. Who was he to demand the truth when he had been lying for the past few months? He couldn’t stop himself from following Youngbin, even though he knew that would only make things worse.

Youngbin made it to the doorway before he got too curious and turned back to his boyfriend. "Juho?" he asked quietly, "do you love me?"

“Of course,” Juho answered a little quickly. He hated himself for lying, but he would hate himself even more if he broke Youngbin’s heart.

Youngbin bit his lip and nodded. “I love you too,” he said quietly, “I hope you always know that.” Inside, he was crumbling. He knew Juho better than he knew himself and he knew when his boyfriend was lying. With a final glance, he turned and left the kitchen before he could break down.

Juho stumbled backwards. He collapsed into a chair and rested his hands in his hair. What was he doing? He didn’t miss the broken expression on his boyfriend’s face and he hated himself for being the cause of it. “I’m so sorry,” he mumbled to the empty room.

Youngbin tried his hardest to pass out before his emotions got to him. He was being dramatic, he told himself, he would feel better in the morning. He fell asleep with tear tracks on his cheeks.

Juho had no idea what time it was when he finally dragged himself to bed. He curled up on his side, almost afraid to get too close to Youngbin. His boyfriend deserved the world, yet here he was, cheating on him. He knew he wouldn’t last much longer, and all he could do was lay awake until the sun came up.

When Youngbin woke up, it was still very early, not even five in the morning. His face was puffy and his eyes were swollen. He sat up in bed and really thought. He could no longer pretend that his boyfriend was faithful, or that Juho even still loved him. They used to have a strong relationship and a healthy sex life, but that was all long gone. He debated asking Juho who he had found to be better, but he wasn’t sure if he really wanted to know. Maybe...maybe he could ignore it. Pretend he didn’t know it was happening. Force himself to feel happy until it started to work. With a sigh, he laid down and wrapped himself around Juho’s back, tossing the blanket over them both. If this was the end for them, he wanted to ride it all the way out.

Juho was surprised that Youngbin had wrapped himself around his back overnight. He wasn’t excited that it was Saturday, but it gave him the opportunity to just lay there and enjoy the feeling of his boyfriend pressed against him.

Youngbin slept lightly and woke up when Juho did. A small sigh escaped his mouth and his arms tightened slightly. Despite his internal turmoil, being close to his boyfriend did make him feel a bit calmer.

Juho didn’t miss the way Youngbin’s arms tightened around him. Slowly, he turned himself around when he woke up. “Good morning,” he whispered, leaving their lips mere centimeters apart.

Youngbin hummed and let his head fall to Juho’s shoulder. “Sorry about last night,” he mumbled, “I’ve had a really long week.”

“No, no, it’s okay,” Juho said quickly, “you don’t need to apologize.” He rubbed Youngbin’s back gently and pulled the older man closer to him. The guilt was radiating off of him, but he couldn’t do anything. He felt like he was stuck in quicksand.

“I’ve still been getting sick and the only explanation I’ve found is this stupid witch tale and I’ve just been hyperfocused on it all week,” Youngbin explained, voice muffled by Juho’s shirt.

“I’m sure it’s not stupid. Maybe you can talk to a doctor about it,” Juho suggested. He had no idea what Youngbin could have found, but if he was still getting sick, he certainly had to do something about it.

“I can’t tell a doctor, they’ll think I’m crazy,” Youngbin said with a sigh, “but it’s fine. I feel better now than I have all week.”

“Oh good. You can always talk to me, you know,” Juho said slowly. They had always been very open with their communication and Juho didn’t see why that had to stop now.

“You wouldn’t believe me either,” Youngbin said quietly. Juho would think he was just as crazy unless he saw the evidence himself, which wasn’t going to happen.

Juho frowned at that. “Hey, you know that’s not true,” he murmured. Maybe Youngbin didn’t know that. Had that much changed in their relationship that they could no longer trust each other?

“I barely believe myself and it’s happening to me,” Youngbin said with a shrug. Despite everything, he trusted Juho. Always.

Juho sighed softly and pulled Youngbin closer to him. He was utterly and entirely confused. His boyfriend was getting sick and he wouldn’t say why and Juho was watching their relationship crumble before his eyes. It was incredibly overwhelming and he didn’t know what to do anymore.

Youngbin finally couldn’t keep it contained anymore. He had to know. “What happened to us?” he asked softly, “where did we go wrong?”

Juho froze. He debated playing dumb, but who would he be fooling? “I...I don’t know,” he whispered. Sure he knew that Seokwoo was responsible for stealing his heart, but how his project partner had managed to was beyond Juho.

Youngbin shook his head and tried to think back to their last fight. It was a few months ago, back when this whole project ordeal had first started and Youngbin had been feeling neglected. They had fought over the fact that Juho was never home, never even told Youngbin when he would be late, and it ended with the younger man storming out. They had never resolved that one.

There were a million things running through Juho’s head. He wanted to try to comfort Youngbin, but he was scared of saying anything too suspicious. He wanted to offer to try to fix this, but Juho knew that would just hurt the both of them longer than necessary. Juho was well and truly stuck and he had a sinking feeling that this conversation wasn’t going to end on a good note.

Youngbin sighed softly and closed his eyes. “How long?” he asked, voice practically a whisper.

Juho opened and closed his mouth a few times. He had been caught, but how did Youngbin know? He had been so careful to hide any evidence of it being Seokwoo. Sure they’re crumbling relationship wasn’t a good sign, but that didn’t explain how Youngbin knew. “What...what do you mean?” he asked slowly. Juho hated playing dumb, but he was too scared to do anything else.

“How long have you been seeing someone else?” Youngbin reiterated. He didn’t open his eyes. He didn’t want to see whatever pity was on Juho’s face.

As desperately as he wanted to, Juho couldn’t lie anymore. “A couple months,” he admitted slowly. He was kicking himself for not being more careful. He didn’t deserve to still be holding Youngbin in his arms, but he couldn’t bring himself to let go.

“Since the last fight,” Youngbin guessed, but it wasn’t really a question. “How much of this project of yours has been real?”

“The first month and a half,” Juho said quietly. He felt more and more guilty and could feel his chest begin to tighten.

Youngbin felt so stupid. How had he been so blind to what was happening? Juho had even missed his birthday to see whoever else he was seeing. The Juho he knew would have taken the entire day off. Now that Youngbin knew, it stung even more.

“I...I’m sorry, hyung. You didn’t deserve this,” Juho mumbled miserably. Youngbin had given him the world and all Juho had given him in return was heartbreak. He knew an apology fixed nothing, but he couldn’t stop himself from saying it.

“What did he do that I didn’t?” Youngbin asked, finally opening his eyes. If it was something like his looks or his height, something he couldn't control, he could handle that, but anything else? It would devastate him.

Juho wanted to claim he didn’t know, but Youngbin deserved the truth after the months of lies. “He understands everything about me. I don’t even have to tell him, and he knows what’s wrong and how to fix it,” Juho explained quietly. He clamped his mouth shut before he kept rambling all day. It was almost disconcerting how long he could talk about Seokwoo for.

Youngbin bit his lip and nodded. That used to be him. He used to be able to do that, but Juho had closed himself off. He couldn’t read his boyfriend anymore.

“I want you to be happy,” Juho said truthfully, “but I don’t know if I can be the one to make sure that happens.” He really missed when their relationship was strong, but sometimes things happened that were out of their control.

“All you had to do was come home,” Youngbin said slowly, “choose me over work or over him just once. I’m still wildly in love with you, Juho.”

Juho felt a lump form in his throat, effectively choking him. He laid there silently, desperately trying to keep himself together; he didn’t deserve to cry.

“I think you should go,” Youngbin said quietly, “I can’t do this right now.” The apartment was in Juho’s name, so it was Youngbin that would have to pack up and find a place to stay, but he needed some time alone to process all of that.

Juho slowly unwrapped his arms from around Youngbin and stood up from the bed. He didn’t even bother packing a bag; he had clothes at Seokwoo’s. “Call me when you’re ready,” he choked out before leaving the room.

Youngbin, to his own surprise, managed to keep it together while he packed his things and left his key on the table. He kept it together as he got on the subway with his life in two duffel bags and texted Juho that he could go home now. He kept it together all the way until Inseong opened his apartment door and took one look at him and then Youngbin broke down.

Juho didn’t go home right away; he couldn’t bring himself to. Instead, he stayed curled up on Seokwoo’s lap on his couch and let the other man just hold him.

It took Youngbin forever to calm down enough to tell Inseong what had happened. He had to prevent the older man from going to find Juho. It wasn’t worth it. The younger man would be much happier without Youngbin in his life.

“It’s okay, Juho. You both will be a lot happier this way,” Seokwoo said. Juho nodded and tucked his head into the other man’s neck. He knew it was true, but everything still stung. He and Youngbin had been together for so long that it was hard to completely let go so fast.

“Look at me,” Inseong said, grabbing a handful of tissues for Youngbin, “you can’t blame yourself for this. He made a choice knowing it would hurt you and now he needs to live with that. No man is worth you hurting this much.”

Juho sat silently, mulling over everything that had happened. This was entirely his fault and that was eating at him. He didn’t realize how tense he was until Seokwoo gently massaged his shoulders. Taking a deep breath, he forced himself to relax. This was the choice he had made and it was time to start enjoying it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obvious warning for emetophobia (v*mit)

A few days had passed and Youngbin was still miserable. He was still getting sick, even moreso than before. Inseong forced him out of bed and made him look around at apartments, but Youngbin simply wasn't able to focus. He was too preoccupied with trying to figure out where he had gone wrong.

Juho didn’t spend much time at his apartment. Every time he walked in, he was hit with a wave of guilt and the memories of everything that was and it killed him. Work had at least gotten easier and he didn’t need to worry about sneaking out. Slowly but surely, things were beginning to look up.

Youngbin finally settled on an apartment and moved off of Inseong's couch. His illness wasn't getting any better but instead worse. He ended up taking a leave of absence from work until it started to get better.

Juho was incredibly grateful for Seokwoo. The other man had been an absolute angel and let Juho take everything as slow as he needed to. “If you’re spending most of your time here, why don’t you move in and sell your apartment?” Seokwoo suggested slowly one day. Juho thought about it for a moment. He knew he was hanging onto it for old times sake, but he also knew he needed to let it go so that he could get over Youngbin. “Okay, I’ll sell it,” Juho agreed after a moment.

Youngbin still hadn't told Inseong exactly what was going on with him. There were some days that he spent hugging the toilet with an entire bush's worth of flowers coming out of his throat, and others when he would only cough up one or two buds. He didn't know what to do to get better.

Juho was almost relieved when the apartment finally sold. He was finally able to let go of everything and devote his full attention to Seokwoo, which really allowed their relationship to flourish. Within the next couple days they were official, and Juho hadn't been this happy in ages.

It was an easy day when someone knocked on Youngbin's front door. He shuffled over, confused. He wasn't expecting anyone. "Hi! I wanted to come introduce myself. I'm Lee Jaeyoon, your new neighbor!" Youngbin couldn't see the other man behind the giant pile of muffins he was holding out. "Uh, come on in," he mumbled awkwardly.

Juho was tucked into Seokwoo's side on his couch and they were watching a movie and snacking on a shared bowl of popcorn. It was so much nicer to be able to spend time together in a comfortable apartment rather than a meeting room in the office. During a lull in the movie Seokwoo leaned down and pressed his lips to Juho's hair. "I love you," he mumbled quietly. Juho turned his head up to look his boyfriend in the eyes. "I love you too," he whispered, leaning up to gently press their lips together.

Jaeyoon came in and set the plate of muffins on the counter, giving Youngbin the opportunity to get a good look at him. The other man was attractive, with deep dimples and dark hair that swooped over his forehead. "I'm Youngbin," he said lowly, extending his hand for Jaeyoon to shake. He closed his eyes momentarily, willing away the nausea that had just flared up.

Juho didn't anticipate the kiss getting much more heated, but the next thing he knew he had slipped into Seokwoo's lap. He pressed himself closer and let the kiss deepen on its own. He hadn't been this close with someone in a long time and it felt amazing. 

Jaeyoon went to shake Youngbin's hand but Youngbin suddenly pulled his hand back. "Excuse me," he said thickly, already power-walking to the bathroom. He closed and locked the door and had barely gotten the toilet lid up when the tiny flowers were spilling from his mouth. It felt like he was choking on them, and they just kept coming.

Jaeyoon was a little taken aback when Youngbin suddenly disappeared down the hallway. Judging by the choking noises coming from the bathroom, the other man was obviously very sick. Slowly, Jaeyoon walked over to the bathroom; he wasn't quite sure what to do, but he felt odd leaving. "Youngbin-ssi? Are you okay?" he asked nervously through the door.

Youngbin spit the last flower out of his mouth with a cough and did his best to steady his breathing. "Y-Yeah, I'm fine," he called back, "thank you for the muffins."

"Oh, um, yeah, no problem," Jaeyoong mumbled awkwardly, "do you need anything?" He shifted nervously on his feet; this wasn't quite how he expected meeting his new neighbor to go. 

"No, I'm okay," Youngbin said weakly, spitting yet another bud out into the bowl. He felt bad that Jaeyoon had to witness this.

Jaeyoon could clearly tell that Youngbin was not okay, but it wasn't his place to do much more. "Well, I'm right next door if you need anything," he said before taking his leave. Meanwhile, Juho had finally pulled himself away from Seokwoo. "I don't want to go too fast," he said breathlessly. "We can take this as slow as you need to," Seokwoo replied, letting his hands run up and down Juho's sides.

Youngbin flushed away the evidence and splashed his face with water before leaving the bathroom. He was glad that Jaeyoon had left. The other man didn't need to deal with his mess. With a sigh, he went back to bed.

The more time Juho spent with Seokwoo, the more in love he fell. He slowly but surely was learning to trust Seokwoo like he did Youngbin, and was even thinking about the older man less and less.

Youngbin didn't get better. He got worse and worse and worse until he physically could barely get out of bed anymore. In his mind, he wondered how much of it was Hanahaki and how much was depression. He went through cycles of letting his phone sit dead, only to charge it pointlessly and let it die again without ever looking at it. The only person that he talked to was Inseong and it had been weeks since they'd talked anyway. His life became a destructive cycle of sleeping and crying and throwing up. Passively, Youngbin wondered if this disease could kill him.

One evening, Jaeyoon had stepped out of the shower and was drying his hair when he heard a horrible retching sound coming from the other side of the wall. He quickly realized that was Youngbin’s apartment and he felt horrible that his neighbor was still so sick. After a few minutes, he heard a new sound and it took him a moment to figure out that it was crying. Jaeyoon froze; he did not by any means want to get sick, but he knew he couldn’t let this continue.

Some nights, Youngbin could get through it, but others, it wasn't so easy. He became hysterical and found himself starting message after message to Juho. He missed the younger man and he was still trying to figure out what he had done wrong, where he had caused the younger man to fall out of love with him. 

By the time Jaeyoon had finished drying off and getting dressed, Youngbin was still crying and he knew he had to do something. What that something was though, was beyond him. Bringing Youngbin food would be futile, considering how often he was getting sick. Besides they weren’t friends by any means and Jaeyoon didn’t want to risk getting sick.

Youngbin had reached a point of hysteria where he couldn't even stop himself from sending the half coherent message he had typed out. He just wanted Juho. He wanted to put an end to all of this, to wake up as if it was some horrible nightmare.

Juho was surprised to get a text message from Youngbin. He grew more and more worried as he looked over the message, considering it was barely comprehensible. “I have to go check on Youngbin hyung,” he announced, launching up from his seat on the couch to head to the door. He stopped in his tracks when he realized he didn’t even know where Youngbin was. “Forget about him, babe,” Seokwoo said soothingly, “he’s not good for you.”

Youngbin finally caught up to what he was doing as he started to calm down and was mortified. Juho wasn't going to come and save him anymore, so what was he doing? The healthiest thing that he could do was to get over him. That was the only thing that would end all of this torture. "I'm sorry," he texted Juho, before blocking his number.

Juho was even more concerned when Youngbin’s second message came through and he started panicking when none of his messages were going through. Seokwoo sighed softly and pulled Juho back down on the couch next to him. “Let him go. It’ll be better for both of you,” he said gently. He carefully took the phone out of Juho’s hand and put it on the end table, out of reach.

Youngbin tossed his phone across the room, flinching when it accidentally hit the wall. He hoped it hadn't broken, or woken up his neighbor. It was nearly one in the morning.

Jaeyoon jumped awake when he heard a loud bang. He had no idea where it came from. Sleepily, he reached over and turned his lamp on. Nothing in his room had fallen off the wall so what was that bang?

Youngbin choked as he tried to stand up and spat a few flowers onto the floor. He coughed a few times and bent over to pick the buds up. He was glad that he hadn't thrown up more than that. Youngbin was determined now. He was going to get over Juho, once and for all.

Jaeyoon waited a few more minutes and when he didn’t hear anything else, he settled back down. He fell asleep fairly quickly, albeit a little confused.

Youngbin felt absolutely horrendous when he woke up the next morning. His head was pounding and his mouth felt like it was filled with cotton. With a groan, he rolled out of bed and trudged into the kitchen.

Jaeyoon went about his day as he usually did, just a little more tired. He loved his job so finding the motivation to get up and go was easy. As he was locking his front door, he snuck a glance at Youngbin's door; he was pretty worried about his neighbor.

Youngbin managed to get himself ready for the day without incident. He finally picked up his phone, glad that it wasn’t broken. Given how much better he was feeling, he decided to walk downtown and get himself lunch.

The nicest part about Jaeyoon's job was that the building was right around the corner from a little café. Jaeyoon had grown quite fond of the small restaurant and frequently went there for lunch. Since he had a productive morning, that was exactly what he did. After ordering his usual, he sat himself at a corner table and watched the world go by outside.

Youngbin walked into a small corner café, intent on ordering a coffee and a sandwich. Once he had his food, he found a secluded table in the back to eat.

Jaeyoon was more than surprised when he saw Youngbin walk down the street and into the café. He debated saying hi, but judging by the look on his neighbor's face, he just wanted to be left alone. He was at least glad that Youngbin was feeling good enough to get out and eat something.

Youngbin ate slowly, wanting to take advantage of his good mood and actually enjoy something. Looking around the café, he spotted the neighbor he’d met a few weeks ago and tilted his head. Pulling a small notebook out of his bag, he started to sketch the layout of the café. It wasn’t often that Youngbin had the opportunity to draw, but he really did enjoy it.

Jaeyoon finished his lunch quickly and made to leave the café. He could spend all day there if he had the time, but half an hour sufficed for the time being.

Youngbin was only about halfway done with his drawing when Jaeyoon suddenly got up and left. Now his drawing was missing its focal point. He did his best to sketch him in by memory, but wasn’t particularly successful.

Juho and Seokwoo didn't have time to get lunch together often, but every once in a while their schedules lined up. They walked hand in hand through the streets of Seoul trying to find somewhere quick to eat. Seokwoo eventually spotted a small café and practically dragged Juho inside.

Youngbin was focused completely on his drawing and wasn't even paying attention to who was coming and going from the café. It wasn't until he looked up again to check the location of the tables that he realized someone was in the seat Jaeyoon had been in earlier. He squinted and realized that it was Seokwoo, Juho's project partner, and...Juho himself.

Seokwoo frowned when he noticed a man staring at him from across the café. "Whatcha looking at?" Zuho stopped dead in his tracks when he locked eyes with Youngbin.

Youngbin's eyes widened when Juho looked up at him. With a shaky breath, he tried to focus back on his paper, but found that his hands were trembling too much. Quickly, he shoved his things in his bag and went to leave.

“Youngbin hyung, wait," Juho said, standing quickly. Despite the protests from Seokwoo, Juho walked quickly towards his ex-boyfriend and tried to grab him gently by the arm so he couldn't leave.

Youngbin stopped briefly to throw out his trash then practically sprinted out of the shop. He should have known it was Seokwoo. All the time he and Juho had spent cooped up together...it was a no-brainer.

Juho didn't try to stop Youngbin again. The older man obviously didn't want to talk to him and Juho didn't blame him. Slowly he made his way back to his seat and sat down hard; it had shaken him more than he thought it would to see Youngbin. Seokwoo reached out and took Juho's hand in his own. 

Youngbin was still shaking when he got back to his apartment. He felt especially stupid now. It had been so obvious that it was Seokwoo. Juho never had any messages from him, even though they worked closely and were friends outside of work. He never mentioned the man in passing and was always secretive and evasive about their project. Youngbin had been so blind.

Juho quickly redirected his attention back to his boyfriend and their lunch. Soon enough he was back to work and was too busy to even think about his encounter with Youngbin. 

Youngbin was glad that he felt better over the next few days. Maybe seeing Juho with Seokwoo had finally given him what he needed to get over the younger man. To his surprise, Jaeyoon started being more friendly and even invited Youngbin to a New Year's party, which is where he was now.

"Hey, I'm so glad you decided to stop by," Jaeyoon greeted Youngbin excitedly. "Come on. Let's get you a drink and then I'll introduce you to everyone." He closed the door behind his neighbor and led the other man through his apartment.

Youngbin was nervous. He didn't know any of Jaeyoon's friends and hadn't been sure if he could invite Inseong without overstepping a boundary. He was also worried that he would get sick, especially if alcohol was involved.

"What do you want?" Jaeyoon asked as he grabbed a red solo cup and scooped some ice into it. He turned back to Youngbin and frowned when he saw the man's nervous expression. "Don't worry, everyone's really friendly and you don't have to drink if you don't want to," he said gently.

"I'm good with just water for now," Youngbin said, attempting a smile. He didn't know why he was so tense. Maybe it was just because of the holiday. 

Jaeyoon nodded and filled the cup with water before handing it back. "On the couch is Taeyang and Hwiyoung," he said, gesturing to the sofa where two of his coworkers sat practically in each other's laps, "and this is Sanghyuk." He stepped to the side so the two men could properly introduce themselves. "Oh, excuse me," he said when there was a knock on the door, "I'll be right back." With that he left the two men to converse and headed to the door.

Youngbin stood there awkwardly with Sanghyuk, not really knowing what to say. He didn't know any of these people and he just kind of wanted to go home.

"You look familiar," Sanghyuk commented, eyeing Youngbin closely. Maybe it was the alcohol, but he just couldn't place where he had seen this man before. Jaeyoon beamed brightly when he opened the door and saw Juho and Seokwoo standing behind. "Hey, come on in. Drinks are this way," he said chipperly.

Youngbin raised his eyebrows. "You must be confusing me with someone," he said, taking a step away from the other man. He had never met Sanghyuk before in his life.

"No, no, it's definitely you, but I don't remember ever meeting you before," Sanghyuk said, narrowing his eyes. He had a funny feeling he recognized this man from work, but that didn't make sense considering he obviously didn't work in their office. 

Youngbin wasn't sure how to react to that, so he simply shrugged and stood there awkwardly. He was about to give up and go home when Jaeyoon came back over.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but these are some of my coworkers, Juho and Seokwoo," Jaeyoon said politely, "and this is my neighbor, Youngbin." He wasn't surprised that Sanghyuk was already chatting Youngbin's ear off, but he didn't miss the confused look on the younger man's face.

Youngbin froze when he looked up and saw Juho staring back at him. The younger man looked surprised as well. "Excuse me," Youngbin said stiffly, setting his drink down and marching off in the opposite direction. Anything to get away from Juho.

Jaeyoon looked between the group of men for a moment before quickly following after Youngbin. "Youngbin-ssi, is everything okay?" he asked carefully when he finally caught up to the older man.

"I think I'm gonna head home, Jaeyoon-ssi," Youngbin said with a tight smile, "thanks for the invite, but I'm just not feeling up to it tonight."

"Are you sure? I would really hate for you to spend New Year's alone," Jaeyoon said. He felt bad about whatever set the man off and he certainly didn't want to force him to stay if he wasn't feeling up to it.

Youngbin thought back to the last New Year's celebration. He and Juho had stayed in and watched the countdown and had champagne while bundled up on the couch. He looked down with a sad smile. "Yeah," he said quietly, "I'll be fine."

Jaeyoon frowned. "Are you sure everything is okay? If Sanghyuk said something, I'm more than happy to talk to him," he said. He knew Youngbin wasn't keen on the party from the moment he got there, but Jaeyoon didn't think the man would leave quite so soon.

"It wasn't Sanghyuk," Youngbin explained, "Juho and I have...bad history and it's better for me to not be around him." He didn't really want to say much more. Really, he hadn't even intended to say as much as he had.

Jaeyoon's eyes widened. "Oh, I'm so sorry. I had no idea," he mumbled quickly, "is there anything I can do?" He hated the idea of Youngbin being alone for the holiday, but he didn't want his neighbor to be uncomfortable either.

"Not really," Youngbin said with a shrug, "I'm just gonna...go." He felt bad that Jaeyoon was trying so hard to get him to stay. Maybe he would invite the younger man over for dinner later in the week to make up for it.

"Let me at least walk you out," Jaeyoon said. He knew it wasn't a far walk to the door, but he felt responsible for making sure Youngbin was okay. As they walked through the apartment, he made a mental note to check on his neighbor sometime tomorrow.

It was sweet that Jaeyoon wanted to walk him home, but Youngbin didn't want to take the man away from his own party. "Thanks for the invite," he said again as they reached the door, then left without another glance.

“No problem,” Jaeyoon mumbled to the air. He waited until Youngbin was in his apartment before slowly closing the door. “Your hand looked a little empty so I made you a drink,” Sanghyuk said as he handed Jaeyoon a cup. Jaeyoon smiled and gratefully took the drink. He took a sip before exclaiming, “let’s get this party going!”

Youngbin could still hear the party through his bedroom wall and it felt a little bittersweet. He really did feel bad for leaving, but he couldn't have handled watching Juho and Seokwoo have the happiness that he used to have. Youngbin had never been the possessive type, but he had loved Juho for so long. Seeing him with someone else just made his heart break all over again.

Juho quickly lost track of the time along with the number of drinks he had. Eventually he had stumbled away from Seokwoo and found himself leaning against Jaeyoon’s counter. He was having a lot of fun with his boyfriend but he missed Youngbin; it just wasn’t the same without the older man. Taking a deep breath, he decided to go see his ex. Unsteadily, he pushed himself upright and marched out of Jaeyoon’s apartment. Taking a deep breath, he knocked loudly on Youngbin’s door.

Youngbin was surprised when someone knocked on his door. He figured it was a lost, drunk partygoer and, being the nice person he was, went to go and set them back in the right direction. He was right about it being a drunk partygoer, but Juho definitely wasn't lost.

“Hyung, I...I’m so sorry,” Juho choked out as he threw himself at Youngbin. He wrapped his arms around the older man and tucked his head into his neck. “I know apologizing doesn’t fix anything, but I’m really sorry. I...I swear I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just didn’t know how to end things. I’m sorry I made everything worse,” he rambled.

Youngbin stumbled back stiffly as Juho wrapped around him. He didn't know how to react and did his best to push the younger man off. Neither of them needed this. Juho didn't really care about him, he just felt guilty. "Go back to the party, Juho," he said as gently as he could, prying the younger off of him and leaning him on the doorframe instead.

“But...but I need to apologize first,” Juho slurred, “I want you to know that I’m sorry I couldn’t make you happy, and I hope you find someone that does.” He leaned heavily against the doorframe so that he didn’t topple over.

"You did make me happy," Youngbin said with a sigh, crossing his arms. "Then you fucked it up on your own. That isn't what you should be apologizing for."

Juho frowned and did his best to focus on Youngbin. “I’m sorry for being selfish. I...I should have thought of you more and I didn’t,” he said sadly. He pushed himself upright, but all that resulted in was him stumbling a couple of steps into Youngbin’s apartment.

"You didn't think about me at all," Youngbin said harshly, "you really fucked me up, Juho, and that's not something that I can easily forgive you for. Just...go back to Seokwoo, okay? Enjoy your New Year's."

“But, hyung, you need to know how sorry I am,” he whined. Why didn’t Youngbin understand? He was pouring his heart out to the older man and he was getting completely brushed off.

“No, Juho, I don’t,” Youngbin said firmly, “I get that you feel guilty or whatever, but your apology doesn’t change anything. You still  _ did  _ it. You still chose someone else over me. You can’t fucking fix that.”

Juho dropped his eyes to the floor. “I know what I did was wrong, but I still care about you,” he mumbled. He may have fallen out of love with the older man several months ago, but he still wanted to see him happy.

“Bullshit,” Youngbin said immediately, “if you cared, you wouldn’t have fucking done it. The possibility wouldn’t have even crossed your mind. It takes more effort to cheat than to stay faithful and you made the conscious choice to put in that effort. So don’t tell me that you still care about me, because you don’t.”

Juho bit his lip and did his best to keep it together, but that was proving difficult. “I’m sorry, hyung. I made a stupid decision and I hate myself for it. I want to make it up to you somehow,” he said.

“You can make it up to me by leaving me alone,” Youngbin said. He was tired of listening to this. On one side, he was glad that Juho was regretting the choice he had made and the place he was stuck in, but on the other side, he wished that the younger man was apologizing for anything more than his own conscience. “Go back to the party and just let me get over you.”

Juho nodded solemnly. “I’m so sorry, hyung,” he mumbled again before regretfully turning on his heels. He took one long look over his shoulder at Youngbin before stepping out of the older man’s apartment.

Youngbin slammed the door shut behind Juho and made his way over to the couch. It had felt good to tell Juho off, but now he just felt awful. Juho obviously had good intentions and he had just stomped all over them. 

Juho walked back into Jaeyoon’s apartment and snuck over to Seokwoo. “There you are! I was getting worried you might miss midnight,” Seokwoo said. Juho shook his head and wrapped himself around his boyfriend. Before he knew it they were counting down and suddenly there was a pair of soft lips on his own. The conversation with Youngbin quickly faded from his mind and he focused all of his attention on Seokwoo.

Midnight found Youngbin huddled over the toilet once more, blue flowers spilling from his lips and bittersweet tears spilling from his eyes. He just wanted this to end, but that wasn’t happening.

A couple hours later, Jaeyoon had his apartment to himself, save for Sanghyuk curled up on his couch. He did some minimal cleaning up, but he decided to save most of it for the morning. His head was still buzzing when he climbed into bed and settled down. For some reason Jaeyoon found his mind wandering back to Youngbin, he really did hope the older man was okay.

Youngbin sat on the bathroom floor, back against the wall, and let himself just cry it out. So much for starting the year off right. Was it really that much for him to ask to be happy?

At first Jaeyoon thought the crying was just part of his imagination, but when it continued long past when he sobered up he knew it was coming from next door. He felt horrible that Youngbin was so upset, especially considering he was the one that had put him in the same room at Juho. Heaving a sigh, he pulled himself from bed and went to knock gently on his neighbor’s door.

Youngbin almost didn’t hear the knock on his door. Pulling himself together, he did his best to wipe the tears from his face before he went to answer it.

Jaeyoon smiled sadly when he saw Youngbin’s bloodshot eyes. “I’m really sorry this happened and you don’t owe me any explanation. I just wanted to come check on you and see if there’s anything I could do. I, um, I’m sorry for ruining your New Year’s,” he mumbled. He turned his head down and his foot shifted back and forth across the carpet nervously.

Youngbin shook his head. “You didn’t ruin anything,” he said, voice thick, “I just can’t be around the two of them yet.”

Jaeyoon nodded in understanding. He stood there awkwardly for a moment, not really knowing what to do. It was nearly three in the morning and here he was, standing in the hallway talking to his distraught neighbor. “Well if there’s anything I can do, let me know,” he said slowly.

Youngbin didn’t see Jaeyoon much over the next few days, which was probably a good thing. He hadn’t thrown up since the party either, which was a good sign. Maybe, just maybe, things were starting to look up.

Jaeyoon wasn’t surprised that he didn’t see Youngbin over the next few days, although he was a little concerned. The crying had stopped, which was good, but he still had no idea how his neighbor was doing. What was even more odd was the fact that Juho had been completely avoiding him at work and he had to corner the younger man to get him to talk one afternoon.

Youngbin decided that if he made it an entire two weeks without throwing up, he would consider himself well enough to go back to work. He was only three days in though, so it was still an uphill battle.

"Listen, I don't know what's going on and it's none of my business, but I am not going to keep cornering you to try and talk to you when I need shit done," Jaeyoon said. Juho dropped his eyes to the floor and shuffled his feet nervously. "Whatever he told you, isn't true," he said flatly. With that Juho pushed past Jaeyoon and walked briskly towards his desk.

Youngbin finally got around to texting Inseong. He apologized for falling off the grid and invited the older man over so he could explain what had happened and apologize for real.

Jaeyoon stood there for a moment before following Juho. Juho had to have been talking about Youngbin, but that didn't explain why he was being so cold. Jaeyoon put his hands on his coworker’s desk and leaned closer so he could whisper. "What is going on with you? You've been acting cryptic ever since the party. Whatever happened between you and him has nothing to do with me so why are you acting like this?" Jaeyoon asked. Juho took a deep breath and looked up so he could glare at Jaeyoon. "You're right. This has nothing to do with you so please let me get back to my job so neither of us get fired," he replied coolly.

Youngbin's talk with Inseong turned out a little emotional as he discussed the level of despair he had been feeling since the breakup. Inseong really was a good friend for sticking with him through everything.

Jaeyoon sighed sadly and pushed himself upright. "Whatever's going on, you need to fix it soon before it gets worse," he said. He didn't give Juho a chance to respond before he turned around. The younger man was left to glare at Jaeyoon's back as he walked away.

"Maybe you should just force it," Inseong suggested, "just start going on dates, sleeping with people. The less you focus on it, the quicker you'll get over him."

Jaeyoon was confused to say the least, but he didn’t let it bother him for long. He had plenty of other things to worry about other than whatever happened between Juho and Youngbin, although he had a few ideas.

Youngbin walked Inseong out, needing to head out to do some grocery shopping anyway. He thanked his friend for coming over. Inseong had really helped him a lot.

By the time the day was over, Jaeyoon was mentally and physically exhausted. Only paying half attention to everything, he packed up his things and headed home. He barely noticed Youngbin walking out of their apartment building until he nearly ran into him. "I'm so sorry," he mumbled automatically.

"Hey, I'm sorry about the other night," Youngbin said, stopping Jaeyoon, "I wanna make it up to you."

"Please don't worry about it," Jaeyoon said quickly, "you don't have anything to make up for." Jaeyoon was confused; he was the one that should be making it up to Youngbin, not the other way around.

"Let me make you dinner," Youngbin proposed, "just give me like half an hour to go grocery shopping."

"You really don't have to," Jaeyoon said politely. Internally, he was thrilled at the thought of not having to cook, but it didn't seem fair that Youngbin would make him a whole meal, when he wasn't at Jaeyoon's apartment for more than forty minutes.

"Please," Youngbin said simply. If there was one thing that he prided himself on, it was his cooking skills, and he wanted to share that with Jaeyoon.

Jaeyoon smiled softly. "That sounds wonderful. I'm going to go get out of these clothes and I'll see you in a few minutes," he said. He was excited to get to know Youngbin a little bit better considering all he knew about his neighbor was that he has been sick for the past few weeks.

"Great!" Youngbin said with a smile, "I'll let you know when I'm home." With that, he took off toward the corner store.


	3. Chapter 3

Jaeyoon went to his own apartment to take a shower and get changed, feeling much more awake than when he left the office. After freshening up, he threw himself onto the couch and waited for Youngbin to come knocking on his door.

Youngbin managed to get home in record time. He wasn't sure if Jaeyoon wanted to watch him cook, so he made about half of the dish before knocking on the wall.

Jaeyoon was almost confused when he heard a knock on the wall rather than the door, but that was a much more sufficient way to gain his attention. If he ever learned Morse Code at least he would have someone to practice with. Pulling himself off the couch, he snagged his phone off of the coffee table and let himself into Youngbin's unlocked apartment. 

"Sorry, I didn't want to leave the stove unattended," Youngbin said apologetically as he stirred the pan on the stove. 

"That's not a problem at all. It is a pretty effective way of communicating," Jaeyoon said warmly, "is there anything I can help with?" Jaeyoon wasn't a horrible cook, but he certainly wasn't anything special.

"Nope, I just need to put it all together," Youngbin said, shaking his head. He turned the sink on to run some cold water so he could drain the pasta.

"It smells delicious," Jaeyoon commented, taking a couple steps closer to the stove. He had cooked pasta for himself many times over the years, but never like this. 

Youngbin dumped the drained pasta into a bowl and mixed in his meat and tomatoes. When the dish was done, it was a bowl of meaty, cheesy, tomatoey goodness.

Jaeyoon watched Youngbin cook, completely mesmerized. He was doing his best to take mental notes, but he quickly gave up knowing that if he tried to make this it wouldn't end up going quite so well.

Youngbin put the bowl of food on the counter and motioned for Jaeyoon to sit down. "Hopefully, you like it," he said nervously.

"It looks amazing and I'm sure it tastes even better," Jaeyoon said. He was excited to try Youngbin's cooking and eagerly slipped into a chair. To his delight, he found that he was absolutely correct. Jaeyoon hummed happily, it felt like he hadn't had a good home cooked meal in ages. 

"I'm glad you like it," Youngbin said before taking his own bite. It had turned out exceptionally well, which he was happy about. 

"Where did you learn to cook?" Jaeyoon asked after a minute. He slowly raised his glass to his lips and eyed Youngbin closely. He had to admit that he would never have thought that his neighbor would be such a good cook.

“Culinary school,” Youngbin said with a straight face, trying to keep the smile from pulling at his lips. He hadn’t worked as a chef in years, but it still surprised most people that he was certified at all.

Jaeyoon’s eyes widened and he put his glass down quickly in surprise. “Really? That makes so much sense. Do you work as a chef now?” he asked, curiosity causing the question to tumble out of his mouth before he could stop himself.

“I teach high school home economics, but I’ve been on medical leave for the last few weeks, as I’m sure you’ve noticed,” Youngbin explained. He liked cooking, but he loved sharing the craft even more.

“Oh, I see,” Jaeyoon said quietly, “have you been feeling better? You certainly look much better.” In the back of his mind he wondered what had drawn Youngbin to teach at a high school.

“I have,” Youngbin said with a smile, “if I’m fully better by the end of next week, I’ll be able to go back, but we’ll have to see.”

“That’s so great to hear! I hope you’re able to go back soon. It can’t be fun being cooped up in your apartment for so long,” Jaeyoon said. Before he knew it, his bowl was empty and he had to stop himself from outwardly pouting.

“It’s been rough,” Youngbin said awkwardly. He knew that Jaeyoon had heard many of his breakdowns and he wasn’t sure quite how to address that.

Jaeyoon nodded slowly in understanding. “But hopefully the worst of it’s over and you’ll be back to your usual routine in no time,” he said supportively. He wished he could offer more, but he didn’t want to cross any lines considering they hardly knew each other.

“I hope so too,” Youngbin said quietly. He hadn’t thrown up in days, which meant that either Juho was falling out of love with Seokwoo, or Youngbin was falling out of love with Juho.

“How did you become a teacher?” Jaeyoon asked, changing the subject. Whatever caused Youngbin to get so sick was obviously very upsetting to him and Jaeyoon didn’t think he would want to talk about it much more.

“Working in an actual kitchen was too much stress for me. My doctor actually recommended I take some time off because the stress was wearing on me so much. I ended up looking for jobs teaching at the academy, which I did for a while, but adults are so hard to work with, so I got my teaching degree and approached a high school to try and reinstate a home economics program,” Youngbin sighed as he thought about his students. He missed them. “It’s so rewarding to see how excited they get when they make something.”

“Oh wow, that’s so awesome,” Jaeyoon said with a soft smile, “I hope you get to see your students soon. I can’t imagine how much they miss you.” Youngbin was turning out to be a much more interesting neighbor than Jaeyoon previously thought.

“I hope so too,” Youngbin said with a sad smile. This disease had messed up so much of his life. He wouldn’t wish it on anyone, not even his worst enemy.

“I’d love to hear all about them sometime, but I’d hate to overstay my welcome longer than I already have,” Jaeyoon said slowly. To be honest, he didn’t really want to leave yet, but it wasn’t fair to Youngbin to spend too long in his apartment.

“You’re not overstaying at all,” Youngbin said as he got up to clear the plates. He didn’t particularly want Jaeyoon to leave. It was nice to have company again.

“Let me help clean up then,” Jaeyoon said, standing as well, “it’s the least I can do.” Unfortunately, he hadn’t been able to properly connect with any of his other neighbors so he was beyond excited to talk to Youngbin more.

“I’ll wash if you dry,” Youngbin offered. He was a little anal about how his dishes were washed, so this was the safest course of action.

“Deal,” Jaeyoon agreed. He took his place next to Youngbin at the sink and grabbed a dish towel. “So tell me about your students.”

“Oh, they’re such good kids,” Youngbin said with a smile, “a lot of the boys haven’t learned anything about self-sufficiency from their parents, so they’re always so excited to learn. I think I have more boys signing up for my classes than girls in almost every section.”

“That’s so great to hear. It’s obvious how much you care about them,” Jaeyoon said softly. He busied himself drying the bowl he was just handed. It sounded nice to have a job that was fulfilling rather than one that simply paid the bills.

“School is so hard on kids now, especially here,” Youngbin said regretfully, “if I can make their day a little better, then I’ve done my job.”

Jaeyoon smiled and continued to stare down at the bowl in his hand. “The world needs more people like you,” he said quietly.

Youngbin couldn’t help but flush at that. He was glad that he was finally getting to know Jaeyoon. The younger man was really great.

Soon enough the pile of dishes disappeared and Jaeyoon dried his hands before putting the towel back on the counter. “I know it’s only Thursday, but I have a bottle of wine in my apartment that I don’t mind cracking open,” he said. A quick glance at his watch told him it wasn’t that late yet.

“That sounds great,” Youngbin said agreeably. He would take it easy; wine always made him too emotional.

“I’ll be right back,” Jaeyoon said chipperly. He practically sped walked to his apartment and not five minutes later, he had returned with the open bottle of wine and two glasses.

Youngbin had moved himself to the couch and cleaned off his coffee table so they would have a place to set the alcohol. "Thanks, Jaeyoon-ah,” he said.

Jaeyoon smiled softly and handed Youngbin a glass of wine before pouring one for himself. “So,” he began, as he took a seat on the couch, “what other tricks do you have up your sleeve? Pilot training? Boxing champ in high school?”

Youngbin took a small sip from the glass. "Not really," he said, "I was pretty good at soccer, but nothing special. What about you?"

Jaeyoon hummed as he took a small sip. "The most exciting thing I ever did was some singing in high school, but that's long gone," he replied. Sometimes he almost forgot that he used to be in his school's choir.

“Hey, don’t knock it,” Youngbin said, “that takes talent  _ and  _ guts.” He personally sounded like a dying cat when he tried to sing.

Jaeyoon smiled and turned his head down. "I wasn't really that good," he said, slightly embarrassed. That wasn't entirely true considering his teacher gave him solo pieces every year, but he certainly wasn't outstanding.

“I mean, you had to have been good to get in, right?” Youngbin said, taking another sip of his wine.

"Yeah, to a degree. There were auditions, but they never really cut anyone from what I remember," Jaeyoon said. He busied himself taking a drink.

Youngbin hummed. “What about college? Did you do anything special there?” He hadn’t really had the normal college experience, since he’d gone straight into culinary school.

Jaeyoon shook his head sadly. "Not really. My parents always threatened to stop paying if my grades slipped so I would do club sports" he said dryly. His only regret from college was not being able to sing, but he didn't miss it anymore for it to matter that much.

“That sucks,” Youngbin said bluntly. One of the good things about culinary school was that it was a shorter program and therefore less money. Youngbin had known he wanted to be a chef since he was young, so he had managed to save up through high school.

Jaeyoon shrugged. "It wasn't that bad. School kept me busy enough so it didn't bother me that much," he said. He finished his glass of wine and debated for a moment before filling it again half way. "Do you want more?"

“Yes please,” Youngbin said, holding his empty glass out. He hadn’t gotten drunk in a while, so his tolerance was lower. He was already making questionable decisions.

Jaeyoon poured Youngbin another glass before setting the bottle back down on the coffee table. He couldn't afford to drink much more considering he had to go to work the following morning, but getting a little tipsy wouldn't leave him with a hangover. With that in mind, he plopped back down onto the couch and took another sip.

Youngbin took the glass gratefully and took a sip. “This is really good,” he said, “I’m usually not a wine person, so I’m surprised.”

"I'm glad you like it. A friend of mine got it for me as a house-warming present and I've been waiting for a good reason to open it," Jaeyoon said. 

Youngbin smiled and leaned forward to put the glass on the coffee table. He needed to cut himself off soon. “Thank you for letting me cook for you,” he said sincerely.

"I should be thanking you," Jaeyoon said slightly confused, "although if you ever want to practice a new recipe, I have no opposition to being a guinea pig." He bit his lip immediately; he didn't mean to impose on Youngbin especially because they could barely consider themselves friends.

“I’ll be sure to invite you over more often then,” Youngbin said with a happy smile. He liked the idea of having company again.

Jaeyoon sighed in relief and beamed happily. "That would be wonderful," he said excitedly. Maybe it was just the alcohol talking, but Jaeyoon was actually very excited about the prospect of spending more time with Youngbin.

“You’re really good company, Jaeyoon-ah,” Youngbin said after a moment, “I haven’t had good company in a while.”

Jaeyoon blushed lightly and dropped his eyes to his hands. He didn't really spend time with friends outside of work very often, especially not one on one. "I enjoyed this too," he said softly.

Youngbin was surprised by how pretty he found Jaeyoon with a blush. Without him realizing, he blurted the thought out loud.

Jaeyoon froze and kept his eyes locked downward. Did he hear Youngbin right? His neighbor thought he was pretty? He couldn't help the small smile that crept onto his lips. "I haven't heard that in a long time," he admitted quietly.

Youngbin's eyes widened as he realized that he had in fact said that out loud. "It's not a lie," he said hesitantly. Jaeyoon was very good looking, he noticed, now that he was getting a better look at him.

Jaeyoon finally braved looking up. He caught Youngbin staring at him and decided to get his own good look at his neighbor. This was certainly an odd position to be in and Jaeyoon couldn't stop the small giggle of embarrassment.

Youngbin wasn't really sure what to do. Jaeyoon was really pretty, but he hadn't meant to admit that and now he was nervous.

Jaeyoon watched Youngbin curiously. He was almost disappointed the other man didn’t do anything. With a sad sigh he finished his drink and set the glass down on the coffee table.

Youngbin nervously chugged the rest of his wine. He coughed as he set the glass back on the coffee table and cleared his throat awkwardly. 

Jaeyoon looked at this watch and nearly jumped off the couch when he realized the time. He wavered slightly, but quickly caught himself. “I didn’t realize how late it had gotten and I have to get up for work tomorrow. Thank you again for dinner, Youngbin-ssi,” he said.

"I - yes," Youngbin said awkwardly, getting up so he could walk Jaeyoon to the door. It wasn't like the other man had to go far, but he wanted to make sure he got home safely.

Jaeyoon grabbed the bottle of wine and walked towards the door. Even though it wasn’t far, it was still nice of Youngbin to walk him out. “Goodnight, Youngbin-ssi,” Jaeyoon said politely, turning around to face his neighbor. He stopped in his tracks when he realized just how close the other man was standing.

Youngbin reflexively set a hand on Jaeyoon's waist to keep the other man from toppling over. "S-Sorry," he said, but he didn't move his hand.

Jaeyoon leaned into Youngbin’s hand, grateful for the support. He took another small step towards the other man, closing the already small gap. “For what?” he whispered.

Youngbin's eyes widened. He had no idea what was happening right now. "For...nothing?" he guessed.

Jaeyoon chuckled softly. He took one last look at Youngbin before making a decision. Carefully, he leaned forward and pressed their lips together gently.

It took Youngbin a moment, but he eventually kissed Jaeyoon back. It was a completely different feeling from kissing Juho, but not bad. He didn’t really know how he felt about it.

Jaeyoon pulled away after just a moment, not wanting to get too carried away. It dawned on him what he had just done and he quickly dropped his eyes to the floor. “I guess it’s my turn to apologize,” he whispered.

“No, no,” Youngbin said quickly, “that was...not the worst decision you could’ve made. I mean, you could’ve stabbed me.”

Jaeyoon barked out a laugh. “That is true,” he said, still chuckling, “I just hope it was a good decision.” He kept his eyes trained on the ground, too nervous to look up.

“I’ll be completely candid,” Youngbin said, “I just got out of a long term relationship and it still really hurts. I’m not looking for anything serious at all.”

“I’m so sorry to hear that,” Jaeyoon said, taking a step back, “that’s completely understandable.” He chewed on his lip. Maybe this wasn’t as good of an idea as he thought.

“That doesn’t mean I’m not open to anything,” Youngbin said hurriedly, “I’m just not ready for serious again.”

Jaeyoon nodded in understanding and smiled softly. "Don't worry, I understand. If you need anything, I'm only a wall away," he said sweetly. He hadn't really thought about a relationship with Youngbin anyway, considering he barely knew the man. 

“You’re a good kisser,” Youngbin offered sheepishly. He didn’t know what else to say to make the situation any less awkward.

Jaeyoon chuckled. "That's certainly good to know," he said half-joking, "well there's plenty more where that came from if you want them, but for now it really is late and I need to get to bed."

“Yeah, right, of course,” Youngbin said, motioning for Jaeyoon to lead the way toward the door. “Thank you for the, uh, the wine.”

"Of course. There is half the bottle left, but I'm sure we'll find another occasion to finish it," Jaeyoon said. He grabbed the door handle and opened the door slowly. 

“I’m sure we will,” Youngbin said with an easy smile, successfully hiding his nerves. Jaeyoon seemed to be waiting for something, but he wasn’t quite sure what.

“Goodnight, Youngbin-ssi,” Jaeyoon said again, smiling softly. With that he finally stepped out of the apartment and went to his own. He set the bottle of wine on the counter and ran his hands through his head. What had he done?

Youngbin carefully shut the door and leaned against it. What the hell did he just get himself into? He couldn’t drag Jaeyoon into all of his baggage, even if he wasn’t sick anymore. He still thought about Juho more than was healthy and that wasn’t fair to anyone, least of all him.

Jaeyoon shook his head and forced the evening from his mind. He quickly washed up and climbed into bed, but for some reason, he couldn't fall asleep.

Youngbin felt a little sad as he crawled into his empty bed a little while later. Sure, he was used to the loneliness, but it was getting to him a little more than usual.

Jaeyoon groaned when his alarm went off in the morning and promptly snoozed it. He was absolutely exhausted and had no desire to go to work. Nonetheless, he forced himself up when the alarm went off again so he could get dressed and make it to the office on time.

It took Youngbin a while to fall asleep. His bed was too cold and after a while he found a few silent tears on his cheeks. He hadn’t felt this kind of ache in his heart since everything had first gone down. He missed Juho. He missed him a lot. Youngbin had never been good at sleeping on his own.

Jaeyoon went about his day as usual. He must have been a lot quieter than usual because a couple of coworkers asked if he was feeling okay. He easily brushed them off by explaining that he was tired. With a sad sigh, Jaeyoon focused himself on his work and watched the hours slowly tick by.

Youngbin decided that he would keep to himself. Even though forcing isolation would just cut him deeper, he couldn’t drag Jaeyoon into his mess. That wasn’t fair.

Jaeyoon had to admit he was a little sad that he hadn't seen much of Youngbin over the next couple days. Maybe he had ruined their tentative friendship. He didn't think it was a good idea to go knocking on Youngbin's door so soon, so he decided to wait another while and see if he ran into his neighbor.

Youngbin did his best to avoid contact with Jaeyoon, but he could only avoid him for so long. It was almost inevitable that they would run into each other while doing something as mundane as laundry.

Jaeyoon was on his way out to go grocery shopping one day when he caught a glimpse of Youngbin heading back into his apartment. He perked up a little, but his neighbor didn't see him. With a sigh, he shook his head and headed downstairs to run his errands.

Youngbin was just two days shy of his two week goal when he finally ran into Jaeyoon for real again. “Hey,” he said awkwardly, “how have you been?”

Jaeyoon was surprised to say the least when he ran into Youngbin. "Same old same old, can't complain," he replied simply, "how are you doing?"

“I’m good,” Youngbin said, nodding awkwardly, “two more days of quarantine, so that’s exciting.”

Jaeyoon smiled softly. "That's great to hear. Almost back to your kids," he said encouragingly. He cleared his throat and peered at Youngbin curiously.

“Almost,” Youngbin said absently. He didn’t really know how to treat the younger man. He wasn’t going to be rude and just avoid him.

“Well it was nice to talk to you, Youngbin-ssi. I’m sure I’ll be seeing you around,” Jaeyoon said politely. With that, he headed back to his own apartment. Youngbin obviously didn’t want to talk to him, so he didn’t want to keep his neighbor longer than necessary.

Youngbin was actually a little hurt by how quickly Jaeyoon seemed to run out of their conversation. He knew he was the one avoiding the younger man, but he still felt a sting of rejection. Evidently, he had messed things up pretty badly between them.

Jaeyoon made a beeline for the shower. He was disappointed that things had become so awkward between himself and Youngbin, but he only had himself to blame. With a dejected sigh, he stepped under the hot stream and pushed all thoughts of his neighbor from his head.

Youngbin sighed and continued up to his own apartment. He felt horrible for making Jaeyoon think that he didn't want to be around him. He just couldn't handle the inevitable heartbreak of getting involved with someone else. 

More nights than most, Juho found himself underneath Seokwoo in the middle of their bed. It was moments like this, when they were making out slowly that Juho realized just how much he cared about Seokwoo. Carefully Seokwoo pulled back just enough so that Juho could look him in the eyes. They stared at each other for a moment, just enjoying each other’s company. “God, I love you,” Juho whispered suddenly. Seokwoo smiled widely and crashed their lips together again.

Youngbin was in the process of making dinner for himself when he suddenly felt the dread fill him. He barely made it to the bathroom before he was throwing up flowers everywhere. Youngbin collapsed to his knees, sobbing. This couldn't be happening.

Jaeyoon was a little surprised when he heard the muffled sound of sobbing coming from Youngbin’s apartment. That meant the man still wasn’t getting any better. He wasn’t sure if he felt more concerned over him being sick for so long or bad because of how much longer he’d have to miss work.

Youngbin felt like screaming. Why was this still happening? He had been so good lately, had barely thought of Juho at all, and yet he was still in love with him. Maybe the loneliness after his encounter with Jaeyoon was starting to take a toll. What had he done to deserve this?

Just like every time before, Jaeyoon debated going over, but stopped himself. Youngbin barely even wanted to talk to him so Jaeyoon highly doubted he would want any comfort right now.

Youngbin coughed violently as he shakily got to his feet. He carefully mopped everything up then went to make sure the kitchen wasn't on fire. After turning everything off and dumping the half-cooked food in the trash, he immediately went and got in bed. He wasn't hungry anymore.

Jaeyoon climbed into bed keeping an ear trained to the wall. He was relieved he didn’t hear anymore sobbing. Slowly he drifted off to sleep, almost feeling guilty for not going over.

Youngbin rolled himself up in his blanket until his back hit the wall. Once settled, he couldn't stop himself from starting to cry again. He just wanted his life to be normal again. 

Jaeyoon's eyes flew up when he heard crying again. He slowly sat up and waited for a moment to make sure his tired brain wasn't playing tricks on him. When the crying still hadn't stopped ten minutes later, Jaeyoon finally pulled himself out of bed. Shuffling into the hallway, he went over to Youngbin's door and knocked.

Youngbin sniffled and hiccupped, sitting up when he heard a knock on the door. There was only one person it could be. "Sorry for keeping you up," he said miserably when he opened the door, not even able to look at Jaeyoon, "I'll keep it down."

Jaeyoon sighed sadly; Youngbin looked like a wreck. "That's not why I'm here," he said slowly, "do you need anything?" He didn't miss the way Youngbin stared at the floor, and he was hoping he wasn't making things worse.

Youngbin sighed and shrugged. He didn't know what he needed anymore. He wanted Juho back, but he knew he didn't need that. He wanted company, but he didn't want to drag Jaeyoon into that. He felt stuck.

“You don’t have to tell me what’s wrong, but tell me how I can help. There has to be something I can do for you,” Jaeyoon said softly. He truly wanted to help Youngbin, but he didn’t quite know how to yet.

Youngbin felt his lower lip trembling. "I just don't want to be alone anymore," he whispered.

Jaeyoon took a deep breath and stepped closer to Youngbin. He wordlessly wrapped the man in his arms and held him close. There wasn’t a lot he could do for Youngbin at the moment, but he was willing to try.

Youngbin felt himself sag into Jaeyoon. It felt so nice to just be held again. Slowly, his arms came up and wrapped around the younger man's neck as he buried his face in his shoulder.

Jaeyoon carefully guided them into Youngbin’s apartment so that he could close the door behind them. He didn’t really know what to say. He didn’t want to make empty promises, but he wanted to assure him that everything would be okay. Settling for silence, he just continued to hold Youngbin tightly in his arms.

Youngbin wasn't really aware of Jaeyoon moving them around. When they ended up on the couch, he was almost a little surprised. With a sigh, he pulled away from the younger and wiped his eyes. He owed Jaeyoon an explanation.

Jaeyoon let his hands fall to his side when Youngbin pulled away. He watched the man closely, scared he would break down again.

Youngbin sniffled and cleared his throat, looking down at his hands in his lap. "He - Juho - he, uh, he cheated on me," he said quietly, "for a really long time."

Jaeyoon stared at Youngbin for a moment, almost shocked. He didn't quite realize this is what he meant by having a "bad history" with Juho. "I...I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine what that feels like," he whispered.

"With Seokwoo," Youngbin whispered, "and I am still hopelessly in love with him."

Jaeyoon's eyes widened in surprise. Everything was beginning to click. He knew it was odd that Juho would stay late with Seokwoo nearly every night, but he had no idea that it was so his coworker could cheat on Youngbin. "I am so sorry he did that to you," Jaeyoon said sincerely, "I wish there was more I could do." He wasn't necessarily the violent type, but he wouldn't mind giving Juho a black eye.

"This is going to sound absolutely fucking crazy," Youngbin warned, "Juho is the reason that I've been getting so sick. He's in love with Seokwoo and I'm in love with him and every time he feels particularly strongly, it's makes me throw up fucking flowers everywhere."

Jaeyoon simply stared at Youngbin for a moment. "Flowers?" he asked finally. He had to admit he was a bit skeptical about all of this, but he didn't want to completely discredit Youngbin.

“Flowers,” Youngbin said, completely serious. He knew Jaeyoon was skeptical. Really, he’d be concerned if he wasn’t.

Jaeyoon shook his head. “I...I don’t understand. How does this all make you throw up flowers?” he asked. This certainly took the term “lovesick” to a whole new level.

“I don’t know,” Youngbin said miserably, “but I’ve been spitting out fucking nightshade for months.”

“Nightshade?” Jaeyoon asked before he could stop himself. That certainly wasn’t good, but then again throwing up flowers in general wasn’t.

“I know this sounds insane,” Youngbin said desperately, “but I promise you I’m telling the truth.”

"I believe you," Jaeyoon said slowly, "but I have no idea what to do." While he certainly wasn't entirely convinced of what was going on, he didn't want to upset Youngbin any further.

“Nothing,” Youngbin assured him, “I just...I needed to tell someone.”

Jaeyoon nodded and sat back against the couch. He was still trying to wrap his mind around everything and he didn't think he'd understand for a long time. It finally dawned on him, how late it was probably getting. "Will you be able to get some sleep?" he asked carefully.

Youngbin shrugged. “Probably not, but that’s okay,” he said, “I don’t want to keep you up.”

Jaeyoon shook his head. "No, no, I'm fine. I'm more worried about you," he said quietly. In truth he could easily fall asleep where he sat, but he was worried about Youngbin getting sleep, especially if he was still getting sick.

"I haven't slept well since it all first happened," Youngbin said dismissively, "this is nothing new." He wasn't about to admit to his neighbor that he couldn't sleep alone. It just sounded childish.

"That's not good," Jaeyoon said worriedly. He quickly shook his head; obviously that wasn't a good thing, but what else could he offer?

"I'm okay, Jaeyoon-ah," Youngbin said with a sigh, "it's getting late, you should go home."

"But you're not," Jaeyoon said quickly. For some reason, he wasn't even that tired anymore. He was more worried about Youngbin than anything, and he couldn't quite put his finger on why.

"I will be," Youngbin said, "seriously, Jaeyoon-ah. You don't need to stay." It wasn't that he necessarily wanted Jaeyoon to go. He just didn't want him to stay unnecessarily.

"I don't have work tomorrow. If that would help you then I don't have a problem staying," Jaeyoon said. The words had tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop them. It wasn't that he didn't want to help Youngbin, he just wasn't sure if this was a good idea.

Youngbin was surprised. He had never in a million years expected Jaeyoon to offer to stay. The worst part was that he didn't really want to decline. "You really don't need to," he said weakly.

Jaeyoon sighed sadly. "Let me help you. It's the least I can do," he said softly. Youngbin looked absolutely miserable and Jaeyoon would be lying if he said his heart didn't ache watching his neighbor.

"I-I guess so," Youngbin said hesitantly. He wasn't going to admit how much he was enjoying the thought of spending the night with someone other than himself. 

"Let's get you to bed then," Jaeyoon said. He stood up from the couch and carefully helped Youngbin to stand up with him. He wrapped his arm around the other man's waist and slowly walked him towards the bedroom.

Youngbin let himself be guided to bed without protest. He felt more comfortable with this entire thing as he realized that Jaeyoon had offered to do this. Hopefully, it would actually help.

Jaeyoon let Youngbin crawl into bed and waited for the other man to settle down before slowly climbing in after him. He was incredibly nervous about this whole thing, but if it would help Youngbin get some sleep then it was worth it.

Youngbin settled himself near the wall and waited for Jaeyoon. Normally, he was a cuddler, but he didn't want to overstep any boundaries, so he kept himself contained.

“I don’t bite,” Jaeyoon said lightly when he noticed Youngbin pressed against the wall, “besides this is your bed.” He kept himself relatively close to the edge of the bed, careful to give Youngbin plenty of space.

"I don't want to make you uncomfortable," Youngbin said, "I'm plenty comfortable."

Jaeyoon smiled softly. “You won’t make me uncomfortable,” he said softly. He scooted a little closer to the middle of the bed, hoping that would be enough to convince Youngbin to untuck himself from the wall.

Youngbin sighed softly and scooted away from the wall slightly. He didn't get too close, letting Jaeyoon have his space. "Thank you for staying," he mumbled after a moment.

“Of course. Good night, Youngbin-ssi,” Jaeyoon whispered. He tried to keep his eyes open for a little longer, but he wasn’t successful. Now that he had gotten comfortable, it would be easy for him to drift off to sleep.

Youngbin wrapped himself around a pillow, still facing Jaeyoon. “Just call me hyung,” he said sleepily.

Jaeyoon smiled softly. “Good night, hyung,” he whispered. Not more than five minutes later, Jaeyoon was fast asleep, still smiling.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for smut.

Youngbin didn’t even notice himself fall asleep. When he woke up the next morning, the sun was streaming through the window and he was fully curled into Jaeyoon’s side.

Jaeyoon was surprised when he woke up to Youngbin cuddling up to him. He didn’t want to disturb the older man so he closed his eyes again and let himself doze.

Youngbin’s eyes cracked open but immediately fluttered shut again. This was the most rested he had felt in ages and he wasn’t about to give it up so easily. Jaeyoon really was a godsend.

Eventually Jaeyoon gave up on his dozing and glanced down at Youngbin. The older man was incredibly good looking and he wouldn’t mind spending the entire day like this.

Youngbin eventually had to get up. His bladder was about to explode. “Jaeyoon-ah,” he groaned, “I gotta get up.”

Jaeyoon loosened his hold on Youngbin and regretfully rolled over so he could stand up. No sooner was the older man out of bed than was Jaeyoon tumbling back into it and curling up again.

Youngbin got up and quickly made his way to the bathroom to do his business. When he was done, he washed his hands and trudged back to bed. He climbed under the covers and cuddled up to Jaeyoon as if it were routine.

Jaeyoon smiled when he saw Youngbin come back into the room. He happily wrapped his arms around the older man like a koala and snuggled closer. “How did you sleep?” he asked quietly.

“Good,” Youngbin said with a yawn, “so good. Thank you, really.” Jaeyoon had no idea how much he had helped Youngbin.

“I’m glad to hear that,” Jaeyoon whispered. He really had no qualms about staying longer, but he certainly didn’t want to overstay his welcome.

“I haven’t slept that well in ages, since well before the breakup,” Youngbin said, settling down to hopefully fall asleep again.

Jaeyoon sighed sadly. He didn’t realize how badly the breakup had affected Youngbin. “I’m happy that I was able to help,” he said sincerely. Youngbin didn’t seem too intent on letting go so Jaeyoon let himself get comfortable again.

“You’re more than welcome to stay the day, unless you have somewhere to be,” Youngbin said, playing with his shirtsleeves absently.

“I might just take you up on that. It gets pretty lonely in my apartment,” Jaeyoon said. That was all the encouragement he needed to close his eyes again and settle himself against Youngbin.

Youngbin could relate to that all too well. The loneliness had been stabbing at him lately. He wanted to start dating again and finally get over Juho, but he didn’t want to use someone else emotionally in the process.

“Get some more rest and I’ll make us pancakes when we get up,” Jaeyoon said sleepily. He was already dozing off again even though it was well into the morning.

Youngbin hummed and closed his eyes. Jaeyoon was definitely comfortable. He was solid and warm. To Youngbin’s surprise, he was actually fairly muscular, certainly moreso than Juho had been and maybe even more so than himself. It made for a nice, solid presence next to him.

Jaeyoon fell back asleep quickly. He hadn't slept with someone in a long time and it felt nice to hold someone close. He was not looking forward to getting out of bed later, but for now he was enjoying holding Youngbin.

Youngbin fiddled with Jaeyoon’s shirt absently before he readjusting his hold and closing his eyes. He fell asleep quickly after that.

Jaeyoon had even less of a clue what time it was the second time he woke up. What he did know was that he was hungry. Youngbin was still fast asleep and Jaeyoon didn’t want to risk waking him up so he stayed where he was and hoped his stomach didn’t make too much noise.

Youngbin let out a long groan the next time he woke up. He didn’t know what time it was, but he knew that the two of them needed food. With a grunt, he pushed himself upright and rubbed his eyes. “C’mon, I’ll cook,” he mumbled.

Jaeyoon was not about to complain about getting food. He nearly leapt out of bed and hand to refrain himself from dragging Youngbin into the kitchen.

Youngbin rubbed his eyes as he walked, trying to wake himself up. “What do you want to eat?” he asked Jaeyoon.

"Pancakes?" Jaeyoon suggested. It was one of the few foods he could actually help cook without risking burning the kitchen down.

“Sure,” Youngbin said agreeably, pulling out a mixing bowl, “want anything in them?”

"Chocolate chips? I have some in my apartment if you need them," Jaeyoon said. He felt bad having Youngbin cook for him again, but it was probably better this way.

“Nope, I have some right here,” Youngbin said, pulling them out of an upper cabinet with the rest of the ingredients.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Jaeyoon asked, stifling a yawn. He glanced at the clock and was shocked to see that it was late in the morning. He hadn't slept this late in years.

“Just sit and relax,” Youngbin said, “consider this payback.”

"If you insist," Jaeyoon said. He slipped into a chair at the kitchen table and rested his chin in his hand. He watched Youngbin closely, seemingly mesmerized by the older man.

Youngbin mixed up the pancake batter quickly and turned on the stove to heat up the griddle.

"Thank you for cooking," Jaeyoon said quietly. He still hadn't been able to tear his eyes away from the older man, save for the time he looked at the clock.

“One stack of chocolate chip pancakes,” Youngbin announced as he set a plate in front of Jaeyoon and turned back to the stove.

"Thank you," Jaeyoon said gratefully. As hungry as he was, he felt rude eating without Youngbin so he waited patiently while the other man made some for himself.

A few minutes later, Youngbin set down another plate of pancakes. He turned off the stove and set the remaining batter to the side in case they wanted to make more. "Syrup?"

"Yes, please," Jaeyoon replied. It finally dawned on him the situation he was in. He and Youngbin had slept together and now he was eating homemade pancakes, all without barely knowing his neighbor. Jaeyoon ran his hand through his hair and shook his head. This is certainly the most interesting situation he had been in in a long time.

Youngbin grabbed the syrup out of the fridge and some utensils before sitting next to Jaeyoon. “Eat up,” he said with a smile.

Jaeyoon didn't need to be told twice. He pushed all the reservations from his mind and grabbed the syrup. When he finally took a bite, he hummed contentedly. Youngbin was somehow able to make even something as simple as pancakes taste so much better.

Youngbin was impressed by how well the pancakes had turned out, considering how sleepy he still was. “Thank you,” he said again, “you have no idea how much you helped.”

Jaeyoon smiled softly. "I'm glad," he said sincerely. He was still a little bit skeptical about everything that was happening to Youngbin, but he was grateful that he was still able to help the older man.

Youngbin ate happily, actually feeling alive for once. He could almost kiss Jaeyoon. He hadn’t felt this good in ages.

Jaeyoon finished his pancakes and sat back, content. "Is there anything else I can do?" he asked awkwardly. He had no idea if he should stay or not, although he wanted to at least help clean up.

Youngbin shrugged. “There’s dishes, but I can take care of that.” He didn’t want to make Jaeyoon stay if he didn’t want to.

"I'll do them," Jaeyoon said, standing to carry his plate to the sink, "it's only fair seeing as you cooked." He busied himself washing his plate and utensils before Youngbin could oppose.

Youngbin didn’t even have a chance to say no. “Thank you,” he said instead. “What are your plans for today?”

Jaeyoon paused for a moment. “Um, just cleaning. My apartment had a fun habit of becoming completely disheveled by the weekend,” he said. It wasn’t entirely a lie, but Jaeyoon certainly wasn’t going to admit he had nothing to do.

“Is it too much to say that I’ll help you clean so I don’t have to be alone just yet?” It sounded desperate, and it was.

“I...no that’s not too much. It would actually be nice to have some help,” Jaeyoon said slowly. He didn’t know why he was so nervous about this but he was.

Youngbin found that cleaning Jaeyoon’s apartment was actually some level of catharsis. They spent the day giving the entire place a deep clean and it was incredibly therapeutic. By the time it reached nighttime, he was exhausted and starving.

"Thank you for your help," Jaeyoon said when they finally finished. It was odd having someone help him clean, but it was definitely nice to have the company. "What do you say to ordering something so we don't have to worry about cooking and watching a movie?"

"That sounds good to me," Youngbin groaned as he flopped down on Jaeyoon's couch. He was incredibly sore. It had been a while since he had done this kind of manual labor. "Maybe we can finish that wine too."

Jaeyoon smiled. "Sure thing," he said. He quickly ordered them some dinner before grabbing the wine bottle and two glasses. After flicking the TV on, he poured them each a glass of wine and sat down on the couch with a sigh.

Youngbin took a small sip of the wine and set it on the coffee table, opting to lay down with his head in Jaeyoon's lap instead. He had slowly become less hesitant with his affection throughout the day. Maybe this would be a good thing after all.

Jaeyoon had to admit he was a little surprised when Youngbin laid his head in his lap. Carefully he rested his arm on the arm of the couch so he didn't spill his glass. After a moment, he slowly began to comb his hand through the older man's hair.

Youngbin sighed happily as Jaeyoon's fingers ran through his hair. The touch was so comforting.

It was cathartic for Jaeyoon to play with Youngbin's hair so he continued to run his fingers through the soft locks. He would be content to sit like that for hours. The TV was long forgotten and the only thing he was worried about was their dinner getting there.

After a while, Youngbin knew he had to get up or he would fall asleep. With a groan, he sat up and reached for his glass of wine, taking a long sip.

Jaeyoon sighed sadly when Youngbin sat up. He took his own sip of wine and sat deeper on the couch. “Is there something specific you want to watch?” he asked. Something in the back of his mind kept telling him that they wouldn’t be watching much TV this evening.

Youngbin shrugged. "Not really," he said, sitting back and leaning his head on Jaeyoon's shoulder, "I'm fine with anything."

Jaeyoon took another sip of wine before letting his head rest against Youngbin’s. He closed his eyes and just sat there, basking in the moment.

Youngbin sighed. This felt so...domestic, and he was still a little anxious about letting it continue. Fortunately, at that moment, there was a knock on the door.

Jaeyoon slowly stood up so he could get their food. A few minutes later they were both happily eating their dinner, with the TV providing background noise.

Youngbin munched on his food happily. In no time at all, it was gone. Instead of going to throw his trash out, he simply pulled Jaeyoon’s arm around his shoulders.

Jaeyoon chuckled softly when Youngbin pulled his arm around him. He put his empty take out container on the coffee table and sat back on the couch. Carefully he pulled Youngbin back against him. "Hi there," he whispered softly.

“Hi,” Youngbin whispered back with a small smile. “Was your food good?”

"It was," Jaeyoon said simply, "was yours?" A small smile pulled at his lips as he watched Youngbin closely.

“It was,” Youngbin said with a small nod. They were in a very intimate position, but he found that he didn’t mind it at all.

Jaeyoon hummed quietly. His eyes flicked between Youngbin's eyes and his lips. He didn't want to scare the older man off, but he couldn't stop himself from leaning forward slightly.

It almost felt natural to kiss Jaeyoon again, even if he did taste like cheap takeout. Youngbin even found himself pushing closer, searching for more.

Jaeyoon was content to let Youngbin control the pace. He was just relieved that the older man hadn’t pulled away and he kissed him back happily.

Youngbin sighed into the kiss and pulled away slowly. It wasn’t that he didn’t like it. He just didn’t want Jaeyoon to get hurt.

Jaeyoon sighed sadly when Youngbin broke the kiss, but he leaned back anyway. He didn't want to rush anything, especially considering the older man's situation. Instead, he pressed a gentle kiss to Youngbin's forehead.

“I like you,” Youngbin admitted quietly, “but I don’t want this whole mess to hurt you.” He carefully took Jaeyoon’s hand in his own, working their fingers together.

"Hurt me? Hyung, how could this hurt me?" Jaeyoon asked softly, "I like you too and I'm willing to take this as slow as you need." He didn't quite realize how fond he had grown of Youngbin until now.

“I’m still in love with my jerk of an ex-boyfriend,” Youngbin reminded him, “It’s not really fair to ask you to contend with that.”

"Maybe I can help change that," Jaeyoon whispered. He didn't mean to be so bold, but they both knew that Youngbin needed to get over Juho sooner rather than later.

“Maybe,” Youngbin said slowly, “but that isn’t a fair thing for me to ask of you. I don’t want you to resent me if it doesn’t work.”

“You aren’t asking me; I want to help you. You just have to let me,” Jaeyoon said slowly. Even if this didn’t work out, he couldn’t imagine resenting Youngbin for it.

Youngbin couldn't help himself. He kissed Jaeyoon again, deeper this time. "You're incredible," he said when he pulled away.

Jaeyoon smiled widely. “And so are you,” he whispered sincerely. He slowly leaned back down to place a chaste kiss against the older man’s lips.

“Tell me about you,” Youngbin requested, “I barely know the basics.”

“Well I’m from Busan, but I came up here for school and decided to stay. I’m still not sure why I majored in finance, but it landed me a decent office job so I can’t complain too much,” Jaeyoon said. He had almost forgotten how little Youngbin knew about him.

“What exactly is your job?” Youngbin asked. He knew Jaeyoon worked with Juho, but he barely knew what Juho did to begin with.

"I'm a financial advisor. I work with people to help manage their investments, taxes, retirement, really any account that they may need advising on," Jaeyoon explained, "trust me; it's as boring as it sounds."

Youngbin didn’t want to say it out loud, but it did sound incredibly boring. “What would you have done if you didn’t do finance?” he asked.

"I was looking at a few arts schools for acting or even musical theater, but it just wasn't practical for me," Jaeyoon replied almost sadly. 

“Maybe you’ll be able to go back someday,” Youngbin said optimistically. He got the sense that Jaeyoon’s job just left him downtrodden and worn out. If something was going to wear you out, Youngbin figured it should be something you love doing.

"I never really thought about going back. Starting all over, in the arts, at my age just isn't feasible. It's okay though, I'm content with what I'm doing," Jaeyoon said. He really didn't hate his job, it just got old after day in and day out of doing the same thing.

“What about hobbies?” Youngbin asked, “What do you do in your free time?”

"I love watching movies. It's so relaxing after a long day in the office. If I'm feeling especially ambitious I'll go to the gym, but that's not quite as fun as being on a rec team," Jaeyoon said. It had been a long time since he had played any sports and he missed it almost as much as he missed singing.

“Oh, what do you play?” Youngbin asked. He himself had been a pretty avid soccer player.

"Mostly soccer, but I've played a little basketball," Jaeyoon replied, "do you play sports?" He didn't miss Youngbin perking up at the mention of a rec team.

“I played in an adult soccer league when I was in school, but I haven’t since...” He had to stop and think. He hadn’t played since he and Juho had gotten together; the younger man had taken up that free time. “Two and a half years?” he said.

"Maybe we can find a team that has practices or games on the weekends," Jaeyoon offered. He would love to play sports again and it would be even better to be on a team with Youngbin.

“That would be fun,” Youngbin said. He tried to stay active, but he was definitely falling out of shape and getting back into playing would definitely be good for him.

Jaeyoon smiled widely. "Then it's settled. I'll look for a team for us to join," he said. He was positively buzzing with excitement; he hadn't had anything remotely interesting to look forward to in years and it was definitely showing.

Youngbin grinned and nodded. That would definitely be exciting, especially getting to play with his...could he call Jaeyoon his boyfriend?

Jaeyoon couldn't help himself. He leaned down and kissed Youngbin again. Carefully, he tightened his grip on the older man and pulled him even closer.

Youngbin smiled as Jaeyoon pulled him close and kissed him again. He really did enjoy kissing the younger man.

Jaeyoon kissed Youngbin forcefully. He wasn't scared of the older man running away anymore. If it weren't for how they were sitting, he would have rolled himself on top of Youngbin.

Youngbin found his hand gripping the bottom of Jaeyoon's shirt, giving him somewhere to ground himself. This kiss was more forceful than the others had been, but he wasn't worried about where it was going. He trusted Jaeyoon.

After a moment, Jaeyoon playfully nipped at Youngbin's lower lip. He wasn't sure how far the older man would want to go yet, but they could certainly have a little fun just where they were.

Youngbin turned more toward Jaeyoon, pulling one of his legs onto the couch to sit more comfortably. He didn't pull away from the kiss, but this certainly gave him access.

Jaeyoon was usually quite the tease, but he certainly didn't want to do that to Youngbin, not yet anyway. For now he was content at the rate they were going. He smiled into the kiss and tilted his head ever so slightly. 

Youngbin's hand moved from Jaeyoon's shirt to settle on his thigh, fingers digging in just slightly.

Jaeyoon hummed and tilted his head, deepening the kiss. He only kept up this new pace for a few minutes, eventually pulling away to catch his breath. He watched Youngbin's face carefully, making sure he hadn't upset the older man in any way.

Youngbin bit his lip when Jaeyoon pulled away. "I think it'll be a while 'til I get tired of that," he said.

Jaeyoon smiled softly. "I hope you never do," he whispered gently. 

Youngbin smiled and leaned over to take another long sip of his wine. In the back of his mind, he kind of wanted to take Jaeyoon to bed. Not even in a sexual way, just in general.

"Do you want to spend the night here tonight?" Jaeyoon asked slowly. Granted it wasn't a long walk back to his apartment, but the older man hadn't stayed over yet. 

"I'd love that," Youngbin said with a smile. He wasn't drunk, but he could certainly pretend if it got him out of having to walk the fifty feet to his own apartment.

Jaeyoon smiled widely. He grabbed his glass and downed the rest of his wine. "Well, I still smell like cleaning supplies so I'm gonna take a shower. Care to join me?" he asked slowly.

"Join you?" Youngbin said, raising an eyebrow. Jaeyoon may have been getting ahead of himself, but the older man wasn't really opposed.

"You don't have to if you don't want to," Jaeyoon said quickly. He kept his head down and busied himself grabbing the empty wine bottle and glass.

"No, I...want to," Youngbin said, lamely and completely unconvincingly. He really had no opposition, but he was worried that they might be a little too intoxicated.

"It's okay, hyung. I'll be right out and I'll meet you in the bedroom," Jaeyoon said softly. He shot Youngbin a small smile before standing up from the couch and bringing the bottle and glass to the kitchen.

Youngbin got off the couch with a groan and sauntered down the hallway toward Jaeyoon's bedroom. He looked around curiously at the room, finding it oddly bare.

Jaeyoon placed the glasses in the sink and the bottle before following Youngbin into the bedroom. He wrapped himself around the older man and rested his head on his shoulder. "You really don't have to join me if you don't want to," Jaeyoon said sincerely. The last thing he wanted to do was pressure Youngbin into doing something he wasn't comfortable with.

"I do want to," Youngbin said, turning to face Jaeyoon and rested his hands on the younger man's waist. "I just don't want to do something like this if either of us is drunk."

Jaeyoon nodded in agreement. "We could always kill some time and shower later," he said, pressing their foreheads together.

"How do you suggest we do that?" Youngbin asked, smirking slightly. It was suggestive, but he wasn't going to take their time sobering up doing the stuff that they were sobering up to do.

Jaeyoon pulled back and looked at Youngbin closely. "You ever dance?" he asked suddenly. It had been years since Jaeyoon himself had even seen a dance floor, but that was certainly something to pass the time.

"When I was a little kid, but that was a required thing," Youngbin said with a shrug. He liked to think he was somewhat coordinated from years of sports, but he certainly wasn't a dancer.

Jaeyoon smirked and pulled away from Youngbin to grab his phone. "I hear that dancing is an excellent way to sober up," he said jokingly. He put on an upbeat song and tossed his phone on the dresser before walking back over to Youngbin.

Dancing with Jaeyoon was fun, and Youngbin was definitely sober by the time they had had enough. “I definitely need a shower now,” he said, panting.

Jaeyoon smirked and pulled away from Youngbin just long enough to turn the music off. He grabbed the older man's hand and led him into the bathroom. Even though no one else was in the apartment, he still shut the door behind them.

Youngbin followed behind Jaeyoon without protest, even linking their fingers instinctively. He no longer felt nervous around the younger man. He simply felt comfortable.

Jaeyoon regretfully let go of Youngbin's hand so he could turn the shower on. He undressed himself while the water heated up and stepped to the side. "After you," he said gently.

Youngbin undressed slowly. He wasn’t insecure about his appearance, per say, but he had an odd collection of ugly scars from his childhood and he had lost a noticeable amount of weight in the last few months. He certainly wasn’t in the condition he would have liked to have been in.

Jaeyoon's eyes slowly roamed over Youngbin's body. He frowned slightly when he noticed how skinny Youngbin was, being sick really took a toll on him. Jaeyoon could tell the older man was a little unsure so he took his hand in his own and guided him slowly into the shower.

Youngbin found himself more distracted by looking over Jaeyoon's form than hiding his own. He carefully stepped into the shower and pulled the curtain closed behind them.

Jaeyoon was careful not to crowd Youngbin but still rested his hands on the older man's waist. "You okay?" he asked just loud enough to be heard over the water.

"I’m good," Youngbin said with a smile, "just admiring."

Jaeyoon blushed lightly and turned his head down. "You like what you see?" he asked coyly. He bit his lip and kept his eyes on the shower floor.

Youngbin nodded, biting his lip. "I do," he said softly. Jaeyoon was muscular, but not in a hardened way, nor in a lean way. If Youngbin was being honest, he had exactly the body type that he tended to prefer.

Jaeyoon smiled shyly and finally raised his eyes to meet Youngbin's. Carefully he pulled Youngbin closer to him and kissed him deeply. He tried to keep his pace slow, but he found that he couldn't help himself.

Youngbin wrapped his arm around Jaeyoon's back and kissed the younger man back deeply. Their bodies pressed close together.

Jaeyoon hummed happily and let one of his hands slowly slide up Youngbin's back. Carefully, he slid his fingers through the older man's dark hair and tightened his grip every so slightly.

Youngbin gasped into Jaeyoon's mouth as he felt the younger man's grip tighten in his hair. Subconsciously, his fingers dug into Jaeyoon's back.

Jaeyoon moaned when he felt Youngbin's nails dig into his skin and he arched his back ever so slightly. His grip in Youngbin's hair tightened subconsciously.

Youngbin panted into Jaeyoon’s mouth and turned them so he could press the younger man to the wall in a sudden attempt at dominance.

Jaeyoon was surprised when his back was suddenly against the cool wall of the shower. He didn't have a problem with letting the older man take the lead, but he certainly wouldn't be giving it up so easily. He carefully pulled away from Youngbin’s lips so he could sink his teeth into the older man's neck instead.

Youngbin groaned when Jaeyoon bit into his neck. He was suddenly glad that he had at least two more weeks away from work. He certainly didn’t need his high schoolers seeing his hickeys.

Jaeyoon smirked and continued to abuse Youngbin's neck. He was simply biding his time until the elder made his next move.

One of Youngbin’s hands worked its way up from Jaeyoon’s waist to his chest. He skimmed his thumb over a dusky nipple before pinching it.

Jaeyoon bit down hard into Youngbin's neck, trying, but failing, to muffle his moans. Eventually he gave up and shakily kissed up his jawline instead.

“Someone’s sensitive,” Youngbin teased, doing his best to keep his voice from shaking. He was definitely just as affected.

Jaeyoon whined quietly. He carefully untwined his fingers from Youngbin's hair and let his hand run down the older man's body. In slight retaliation, he grabbed Youngbin's ass and squeezed gently.

Youngbin chuckled into Jaeyoon's ear. He wasn't particularly sensitive on his ass, but he commended the younger man for trying. 

Jaeyoon whined again louder this time; he wasn't used to being teased. With a huff, he quickly gave up and kissed Youngbin again. His hand slowly slid to the older man's lower back, holding him in place.

Youngbin smiled into the kiss and gave Jaeyoon what he seemed to want. He relaxed and let his hips press against Jaeyoon's, pinning the younger man to the wall.

Jaeyoon moaned quietly. He could feel himself starting to get hard but he was unable to roll his hips against Youngbin's because he was pinned to the wall. He whined again and nipped at Youngbin's lower lip, holding on to the last bit of control he had.

Youngbin finally pulled away, chest heaving. "I don't want to do this in the shower," he admitted. Not only was he actually gross and sweaty and in need of a wash, but he was also 100% certain that he would slip.

Jaeyoon nodded in understanding. He let himself calm down for a minute before grabbing the bottle of shampoo. After lathering his own hair, he let his fingers run through Youngbin's hair. The quick turn of events had his mind spinning.

Youngbin hummed as Jaeyoon's hands worked through his hair. Once the shampoo was washed out, he snagged the bottle and returned the favor.

Jaeyoon tilted his head into Youngbin's hands; he could certainly get used to this arrangement. He pouted slightly when the older man removed his hands and rinsed the shampoo out of his hair. With a soft sigh, he reached for the washcloth.

"Is it worth washing up that much?" Youngbin murmured as he wrapped himself around Jaeyoon's back, "we're just gonna get all sweaty again."

"Probably not," Jaeyoon agreed as he put the washcloth down. As much as he didn't want to shut the hot water off, he knew he didn't have a choice. Taking a deep breath, he reached over and turned the water off. He pressed himself back against Youngbin, reveling in the older man's warmth.

Youngbin laughed softly and found himself kissing Jaeyoon chastely. He pulled the curtain back and grabbed a towel, dumping it over the younger's head and starting to dry his hair.

Jaeyoon whined in protest, but didn’t do much else to resist. Eventually he found himself giggling quietly, despite his dwindling patience. He blindly snagged the second towel from the rack and wrapped it around Youngbin, using it to pull the elder closer to himself.

Youngbin laughed and finally let Jaeyoon go. He draped the towel over the younger man’s shoulders, flicking the tail end of it over his nipple teasingly.

Jaeyoon whined again, louder this time. He really didn’t expect Youngbin to be such a tease. Pouting slightly, he pulled the towel from his shoulders and wrapped it around his waist.

Youngbin smiled and finally stepped out of the shower. He dried off quickly with the towel that Jaeyoon had wrapped around his waist, leaving it hanging over the bar when he was done. Once Jaeyoon dried off too, he took the younger man's hand and pulled him back into the bedroom.

Jaeyoon followed behind Youngbin easily. When they reached the bed, he spun the older man around and pushed him back to lay down. Smirking slightly, he stared down at Youngbin. 

Youngbin sat up on his elbows and looked up at Jaeyoon with a raised eyebrow. "Is that all?" he teased.

“If you keep up that attitude it might be,” Jaeyoon grumbled. He faked a pout and stared down at Youngbin, his own patience wearing thin.

“Cute,” Youngbin commented. He sat up and reached for Jaeyoon, pulling the younger man closer by his waist.

Jaeyoon whined but let Youngbin pull him closer anyway. He climbed onto the bed, pushed Youngbin to lay back down, and allowed his arms to frame the older man’s head. Frowning slightly, he stared down at Youngbin, almost daring him to try something else.

Youngbin smiled and nipped at Jaeyoon’s lip cautiously. There was a comfortable tension between them and he was waiting for the younger man to break it.

Jaeyoon finally gave in and kissed Youngbin. All his previous annoyance melted away and he slowly began to relax.

Youngbin hummed happily and slid a hand from Jaeyoon’s waist to the small of his back. He didn’t think that he had ever enjoyed just kissing someone so much.

Jaeyoon kissed Youngbin slowly, almost teasingly slow. He placed a hand on the older man’s hip, holding him against the bed.

Youngbin found himself pulling Jaeyoon down toward him, wanting to feel some contact between them. He wanted the younger man so badly.

Jaeyoon let himself be pulled closer to Youngbin. He eagerly deepened the kiss, foregoing the slow pace. Smirking slightly, he ground his hips down.

Youngbin felt his breath catch in his throat when Jaeyoon's hips ground against his own. "Do that again," he requested.

Jaeyoon chuckled quietly, but did as Youngbin requested. This time, however, he rolled his hips much slower. 

Youngbin couldn't help but gasp the second time that Jaeyoon's hips rolled against his own. The younger man obviously had experience, which made Youngbin almost a little embarrassed to think about.

Jaeyoon pulled away from Youngbin's mouth, panting slightly. Smirking cruelly, he ground his hips down sharply, wanting to draw more moans out of the elder. Blindly he reached towards the nightstand, but couldn't quite reach it from where they were laying.

Youngbin groaned into Jaeyoon's mouth and moved his hand down to cup the younger man's ass. The other hand came up to tease his nipple yet again.

Jaeyoon whined and pushed himself off of Youngbin so he could reach the nightstand. Fumbling for a moment, he finally got the drawer open and snagged the bottle of lube from the back. After slicking up his hand, he slowly wrapped it around the elder's cock. He bypassed Youngbin's lips so he could bite into his neck instead, while he lazily stroked his hand up and down. 

Youngbin groaned into Jaeyoon's shoulder and dug his fingers into the younger man's ass. With a grunt, he flipped them over so that he was on top.

Jaeyoon gasped when he was suddenly flipped over. He was not expecting Youngbin to take the lead again. 

Youngbin grabbed the lube off of the bed and slicked up his own hand. He did his best to wrap his palm around both of their cocks, but he wasn't quite successful.

Jaeyoon knew what Youngbin was trying to do so he wrapped his hand around their cocks instead. He slowly stroked his hand up and down again, moaning quietly.

Youngbin groaned and let his face fall into Jaeyoon's shoulder. Smirking slightly, he bit into the soft skin, returning the younger man's earlier favor.

Jaeyoon exhaled shakily and tipped his head back. It had been a long time since he had woken up with a hickey and Jaeyoon was not the least bit opposed to it. In fact, he pushed his neck into Youngbin's mouth, encouraging the elder to do more. 

Youngbin dug his teeth in deeper, intent on leaving a dark bruise right at the junction of Jaeyoon's neck. The younger man would be hard pressed to hide it, which had him smirking.

Jaeyoon whined loudly, but didn't try to push Youngbin off of himself. Letting go of his own cock, he wrapped his hand solely around Youngbin's. He carefully increased his pace, but was careful to not get too fast.

Youngbin tilted his head, biting further up Jaeyoon’s neck. The younger man’s hand was calloused in all the right places and it felt amazing.

"Not too high," Jaeyoon gasped out. He knew it was no use considering the mark Youngbin had already left would be difficult to hide on it's own. Eventually he grew tired of being on the bottom so he let go of Youngbin's cock and flipped them back over. 

Youngbin grunted as he landed on his back again. “I wanna see you suck me off someday,” he said, thumbing at Jaeyoon’s full lower lip.

Jaeyoon smirked. "Why can't that day be today?" he asked coyly. Before Youngbin could respond he slid down the bed and looked back up at the older man, biting his lip.

Youngbin sat up on his elbows. “C’mon, at least do it properly,” he teased.

Jaeyoon whined quietly but obediently slipped off of the bed. He set himself comfortably on his knees and chewed on his lip as he waited for Youngbin to move closer.

Youngbin moved to sit on the edge of the bed. He stroked his cock to stay hard, leaving it bobbing in front of Jaeyoon's face.

Jaeyoon smirked and teased his tongue around the head of Youngbin's cock. Carefully he pushed his mouth down and sucked lightly. He kept his hand on the base of the elder's cock and stroked what his mouth didn't cover. 

Youngbin groaned and rested his weight on his hands. He was right; Jaeyoon's mouth was incredible.

Jaeyoon hummed and pushed his head down further. He was a bit out of practice, which resulted in his movements being sloppy, but he didn't think Youngbin would mind. 

Youngbin found one of his hands lifting off the bed and burying in Jaeyoon's hair. "You're so good," he mumbled.

Jaeyoon moaned at the praise. Getting brave, he took as much of Youngbin's cock into his throat as he could. He sputtered for a moment, but quickly gained his rhythm back. 

Youngbin found himself groaning as Jaeyoon choked around him. He'd never say it aloud, but it certainly was something he was into.

Jaeyoon quickly clamped his thumb tightly in his fist. He was incredibly turned on by all the noises he was drawing out of Youngbin and he wanted to see how far he could push the older man. One of his hands came up to grip the elder's thigh tightly while he swallowed around his cock.

Youngbin choked on his own spit when Jaeyoon swallowed and dug his fingers into his thigh. "Holy shit," he gasped out.

Jaeyoon smirked and swallowed again a few minutes later. He could feel some drool dripping from his lips, but he wasn't worried about that. Instead he was focused on Youngbin. Keeping his tight grip on the elder's thigh, his other hand came up to gently cup his balls.

Youngbin nearly kicked Jaeyoon in the balls trying to get him to pull off. "If you keep doing that, this is gonna get really embarrassing," he panted.

Jaeyoon let go of Youngbin's balls and carefully pushed himself off of his cock. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and smirked up at Youngbin. "Enjoy the view?" he asked cheekily.

Youngbin nodded, still trying to catch his breath. "Should I return the favor?" he offered.

Jaeyoon's eyes widened and he stared at Youngbin for a moment making sure he heard him right. With a shake of his head he pushed himself off the floor to stand up. "You sure you can handle it?" he teased.

"It's been a while," Youngbin admitted as he switched places with Jaeyoon, wincing as his knees cracked. "But I should be okay."

“You don’t have to,” Jaeyoon said softly. He ran one hand through Youngbin’s hair and propped himself up with the other. As much as he wanted this, they would have plenty of opportunities later.

"I want to," Youngbin said with a soft smile. He appreciated Jaeyoon looking out for him. "Unless you don't want me to."

Jaeyoon smiled, “I’m certainly not going to stop you.” As an extra confirmation, he gave his cock a few strong pumps with his hand.

Youngbin batted Jaeyoon's hand out of the way and gripped the younger man's cock himself. Looking up at Jaeyoon, he licked a thick stripe up the underside.

Jaeyoon inhaled shakily and clutched onto the sheets. He knew he was sensitive considering how long it had been since anyone had sucked him off. Holding eye contact with Youngbin was more of a turn on than he anticipated.

Youngbin sunk down on Jaeyoon's cock as best as he could. The younger definitely had some size on his last partner - who he was trying not to think about in the middle of sex with someone else, thank you very much - and Youngbin had never really been with anyone else, so he was definitely a little sloppy.

Jaeyoon moaned loudly when Youngbin pushed his head down. He was too busy trying not to thrust his hips into the elder's face to notice how sloppy he was. His nails dug into the fabric of the sheets.

Youngbin could tell how much Jaeyoon was struggling to hold himself back, so he decided to make it just that much harder for him. He pulled back, gently scraping his teeth along the vein underneath, and closed his lips around the head, sucking hard.

"Oh, fuck, hyung," Jaeyoon gasped out. His free hand shot to Youngbin's hair, holding his head in place. He finally tipped his head back and moaned loudly.

Youngbin laughed around the cock in his mouth. Jaeyoon was too cute for his own good.

Jaeyoon's moan quickly morphed into a loud whine. Holding his hand steady, he thrusted his hips as much as he could without hurting Youngbin. As much as he didn't like the teasing, he wouldn't dare to hurt the older man.

Youngbin tried to move his head in time with Jaeyoon's thrusts so that he didn't choke, but after a minute of tiring neck movements, he gave up and simply dropped his jaw wider.

Jaeyoon groaned and stopped moving his hips after another couple minutes; he knew it wasn't as enjoyable for Youngbin as it was for him. He forced himself to loosen his grip on the elder's hair as well in case he needed to pull off.

Youngbin pulled off for a moment to wipe his mouth and catch his breath. He kept stroking Jaeyoon as he did so. "You're so responsive," he commented.

Jaeyoon mewled quietly. "It's been a while," he admitted between heavy pants.

Youngbin hummed in agreement. "It's been a while for me too," he said reassuringly. He leaned forward again and suckled gently on the head of Jaeyoon's cock.

Jaeyoon stayed quiet, but he couldn't help his grip tightening in Youngbin's hair. However, he didn't hold the elder in place this time. "I don't think I'll last much longer," he said suddenly. To be honest, he was surprised he had lasted this long with everything that Youngbin had done.

Youngbin pulled off when he heard Jaeyoon and stood up. "How are we doing this?" he asked.

Jaeyoon scooted himself into the middle of the bed and laid back down. He tucked his hands behind his head and stared up at Youngbin almost nonchalantly. "However you want," he replied simply.

Youngbin laid down next to Jaeyoon, propping himself up on his elbow. After a moment, he kissed Jaeyoon sweetly. 

Jaeyoon kissed Youngbin back eagerly. He carefully rolled himself back on top of the elder, but he didn't do anything more yet.

Youngbin rested his hands on Jaeyoon's waist as they kissed. "You wanna top?" he asked between pecks.

Jaeyoon hummed. "I want to make you feel good," he said quietly. With that said, he reached for the bottle of lube again to reslick his fingers. 

Youngbin hummed and kissed down Jaeyoon's neck as the younger man fiddled with the lube. "You'd do that either way," he said.

"Well if you want to top you're going to have to work for it," Jaeyoon teased. In an attempt to secure his position, he pressed a digit to Youngbin's hole.

Youngbin chuckled and shook his head. He inhaled sharply when Jaeyoon's finger pressed to his hole. 

Jaeyoon smiled victoriously and leaned down to kiss Youngbin again. Carefully, he pushed his finger in and paused so the elder could adjust before he moved.

"Oh, shit," Youngbin mumbled. It had been so long since he'd had anything in him. He hadn't even had the energy to masturbate lately, and he and Juho had stopped having sex well before they broke up.

Jaeyoon kissed the corner of Youngbin's mouth. He slowly moved his finger, not wanting to hurt the elder. Even when he was sure Youngbin was ready for a second finger he waited another few minutes.

Youngbin groaned and let his hips fall more open. Jaeyoon's fingers felt good inside him. "Shit, that's good," he mumbled, "you can go faster."

Jaeyoon gradually increased the speed of his fingers. He was relieved that Youngbin was relaxing and wasn't in any pain. Leaning down he nipped down the elder's jawline playfully. Unable to stop himself, he rolled his hips down needily.

Youngbin didn't want to keep telling Jaeyoon what to do, especially if the younger man was supposed to be in charge of this whole ordeal, but he needed more. He rolled his hips against Jaeyoon's fingers, hoping that would clue him in.

Jaeyoon finally pushed his third finger in, keeping up the pace. "Ready?" he asked after another few minutes. He didn't pull out his fingers just yet though. 

Youngbin hummed and nodded. He felt completely relaxed. Jaeyoon had stretched him just enough that he would still feel that nice burn when the younger man slid in.

Jaeyoon pulled out his fingers and reached for the condom. Once it was on, he used his hand to line himself up. Taking a deep breath, he finally pushed in slowly and paused for a moment before slowly rolling his hips.

Youngbin’s head dropped back slowly and he exhaled shakily. Jaeyoon’s cock felt so good and he honestly wouldn’t mind staying like this forever.

Jaeyoon's control was on the verge of snapping as he kept up his slow pace, but it was almost worth it to tease Youngbin a little more. One of his hands came to rest on the elder's waist for a moment before slowly sliding down his leg.

Youngbin whined softly and cupped Jaeyoon’s jaw, pulling the younger man down to kiss him. His legs came up to wrap around Jaeyoon’s waist and urge him faster.

Jaeyoon kissed Youngbin almost too eagerly. He smirked into the kiss when he felt Youngbin’s legs wrap around him. Not holding back anymore, he snapped his hips roughly.

Youngbin cried out when Jaeyoon suddenly snapped his hips roughly, not expecting the change in pace. “Fuck,” he uttered, tipping his head back and exposing his bruised neck.

Jaeyoon knew his thrusts were sloppy but there wasn’t much he could do. He was nearly at the tipping point and he was trying to hold out as long as he could. He kissed down Youngbin’s neck, over the bruises, and smirked when his cock dragged against the elder’s prostate.

Youngbin moaned when Jaeyoon managed to hit that one spot inside him. “There again,” he groaned, hurtling closer and closer to his edge.

Jaeyoon happily obliged and snapped his hips at the same angle again. He tucked his head into Youngbin’s neck, breathing heavily.

“I’m close,” Youngbin warned Jaeyoon. Subconsciously, he started to roll his hips against the younger man’s.

Jaeyoon was close too and he made to pull out, but he was stopped by Youngbin’s legs around his waist. “You have to let go,” he breathed. He slowed his hips down, but that didn’t do much considering Youngbin was rolling his own.

Youngbin resoundedly ignored Jaeyoon. He didn’t mind the younger man cumming inside him, condom or not. Everyone had their kinks and that may or may not have been one of his.

“Hyung,” Jaeyoon whined but he knew it was no use. A more few thrusts sent him tumbling over the edge and he came with a low moan. He kept his head tucked into the crook of Youngbin’s neck.

Once Jaeyoon came, Youngbin shoved a hand between them and finished himself off. His chest was heaving and his mind felt a little floaty, but mostly he just felt good.

Jaeyoon eventually untucked his head from Youngbin’s neck. He kissed the elder sweetly while he reached down to unwrap his legs from his waist.

“That was fucking incredible,” Youngbin said softly as Jaeyoon untangled him, “you’re so good, Jaeyoon-ah.”

Jaeyoon whined quietly and slowly pulled out. He rolled himself to the side and gathered Youngbin tightly in his arms so he could hide his face in his neck again. The elder made him so flustered with even the simplest compliments.

Youngbin laughed lightly and kissed the skin of Jaeyoon’s neck gently. The younger man was so naturally cute. It was hard to believe just how far that switch could flip.

Jaeyoon hummed contentedly and snuggled closer. He knew they both needed another shower, but he almost didn’t mind waiting until after they took a nap. Especially considering how comfortable he was at the moment.

“I’m gonna get lube all over your sheets,” Youngbin mumbled, but he made no attempt to move. He was comfortable cuddling with Jaeyoon.

“Those can be washed,” Jaeyoon said tiredly. The absolute last thing on his mind at the moment was the state of his sheets.

Youngbin hummed. He simply snuggled closer with a sigh. “I did a pretty good number on you,” he said quietly, running a finger over the bruise blooming on Jaeyoon’s neck and shoulder.

“The office’ll love it,” Jaeyoon said. He could just hear the commotion already when he walked into the office on Monday, especially with... Jaeyoon’s mouth pulled into a grin at the thought of seeing Juho.

Youngbin felt his smile fade a little bit at the thought of the people in Jaeyoon’s office. It wasn’t that he necessarily cared whether Juho knew about the two of them being whatever they were together, it was just that he didn’t want it to give either of them a bad image, especially to his ex. He wanted to at least appear like his life wasn’t spirally wildly out of control.

Jaeyoon pulled back slightly when Youngbin didn’t say anything and was surprised to see the older man frowning slightly. “What’s wrong?” he asked soothingly.

“It’s so high up,” Youngbin said regretfully as he eyed the hickey, “I feel bad giving you that sort of reputation at work.”

Jaeyoon chuckled softly. "Don't worry about it too much, guys come into the office marked up all the time," he said reassuringly. He was careful not to mention the thought of making anyone jealous, especially considering his main target would be Juho.

Youngbin wasn’t going to admit that he was worried what Juho would think of either of them if he found out. It didn’t matter to him, not anymore, but he didn’t want to create any issues for Jaeyoon.

Jaeyoon did his best to reassure Youngbin but nothing he did stopped Monday from coming. He walked into the office as normal and headed for his desk. He wasn’t surprised by some of the side looks and he was sure to lock eyes with Juho before he sat down.

Juho hadn’t even noticed Jaeyoon come into the office until the two girls seated next to him started whispering. He looked up to figure out what the commotion was and found Jaeyoon staring right at him. That wasn’t the issue though. The issue was the giant splotch up the side of the older man’s neck. “Nice hickey,” Juho teased.

Jaeyoon smirked. “You should see the other guy,” he commented, chuckling softly. He had to admit he was almost excited for how Juho would react when he found out.

Juho could only smirk in response. “Glad you enjoyed yourself this weekend,” he said, exchanging a furtive look with Seokwoo across the room.

Jaeyoon rolled his eyes and turned back to his desk. "Oh, I certainly did. You know what they say: one man's trash is another man's treasure," he said casually.

Juho felt himself stiffen. What exactly was Jaeyoon trying to say? That phrasing implied that not only had he slept with Youngbin, but he knew exactly why they had broken up too. “Glad to hear it,” he said awkwardly.

Jaeyoon smirked and kept his focus on the computer in front of him. He was satisfied that he had gotten the message across to Juho and went about the rest of the day, minding his own business.

Youngbin still felt on top of the world, even a few days after his and Jaeyoon's escapade. He had finally secured the younger man's phone number and had been doing his best to distract him all day. Right as he knew Jaeyoon would be ending his workday, he sent a selfie that very clearly showed off the bruising on his neck, captioning it with an innocent "are you gonna come over for dinner?"

Jaeyoon was just packing up his briefcase for the day when his phone buzzed in his pocket. He smirked when he saw Youngbin's message; he really did a number on the older man's neck. "Depends. What are you cooking?" he responded.

"Depends. What do you want?" Youngbin sent back. He didn't actually have much in his kitchen at the moment, but that wasn't really the point of these messages.

"We can always figure something out when I get home. I'm sure we'll find something," Jaeyoon replied. He slipped his phone back into this pocket and grabbed his jacket and briefcase. Taking one last look around the office, he headed for the elevator.

Youngbin pouted at his phone and hauled himself off the couch. He made his way into the kitchen and looked through his cabinets and fridge, trying to figure out what he could make without having to go to the store. He had plenty of pasta and enough ingredients for a basic alfredo sauce...that could work.

Jaeyoon dropped his stuff off in his own apartment and quickly changed into sweatpants and a t-shirt before heading next door. He knocked on Youngbin's door and waited patiently; his smile widening.

Youngbin had the pasta cooking on the stove and the sauce bubbling in a smaller pot when Jaeyoon knocked on the door. "It's open!" he called out, unable to leave the stove.

Jaeyoon sauntered into the apartment and immediately wrapped his arms around Youngbin and propped his head on the older man's shoulder. "This isn't quite what I had in mind," he murmured as he looked down at the stove.

Youngbin hummed as he stirred the sauce. "What were you thinking instead?" he asked, knowing that Jaeyoon was just teasing him.

"Well," Jaeyoon whispered teasingly into Youngbin's ear, "I was hoping you were on the menu." He unwrapped his arms just enough so that he could play with the hem of the elder's shirt. 

Youngbin smiled softly and reached down to turn off the stove. “I guess you’ll have to wait for the dessert menu,” he said coyly.

Jaeyoon pouted and slipped a hand under Youngbin’s shirt. “What if I want dessert first?” he asked.

“You can’t eat your dessert before dinner,” Youngbin scolded playfully, moving around slowly so that he could drain the pasta without dislodging Jaeyoon. “Didn’t your mother ever teach you anything?”

"Oh come on, you can bend the rules every now and then," Jaeyoon whined. He shuffled around the kitchen stuck to Youngbin's back, determined to cling to the older man until he got what he wanted.

“Dessert is always better when you have to wait for it,” Youngbin said wisely. He dumped the drained pasta into a serving bowl and poured the alfredo over it.

Jaeyoon huffed loudly and dropped his chin onto Youngbin’s shoulder again. He slowly slipped his hand from under Youngbin’s shirt to rest on his waistband. Deciding to play dirty, he slid his hand further down and palmed the elder.

Youngbin hissed and swatted at Jaeyoon’s hand. “Do you want to get burned?” He asked, “because that’s how you get burned.”

"I just want to have a little fun," Jaeyoon said innocently. He wrapped his arms back around Youngbin's waist and clung on tightly. One would almost mistake him for a koala with how clingy he was being.

Youngbin smiled softly and painstakingly turned around with Jaeyoon still on his back to place the bowl on the counter. “Can you grab some plates?”

“Sure,” Jaeyoon mumbled. He finally let go of Youngbin to find some plates and set them on the table. He sat down with a huff and faked a pout as he stared up at Youngbin.

Youngbin grabbed utensils and set them next to the plate. He dished out the pasta onto their two plates before taking the seat next to Jaeyoon.

Jaeyoon picked up his utensils and dug into the pasta. He didn’t want to give Youngbin the satisfaction of him enjoying dinner, but he couldn’t help humming happily. Struggling to keep a smile off his face, he focused on his dinner.

Youngbin ate his own dinner peacefully, trying to keep his mind off of Jaeyoon's unspoken promises for after. This was nice, this thing they had going. He was glad that he had Jaeyoon around.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for smut and a small fistfight

Jaeyoon ate his dinner in silence, plotting his revenge. When he was done eating, he wordlessly stood up and took his dish to the sink so he could wash it.

Youngbin finished his food and set the plate next to the sink for Jaeyoon to wash while he packed up the leftovers. This time, it was his turn to wrap around the younger man and tease the hem of his shirt.

Jaeyoon smirked when he felt Youngbin wrap around him. He washed the dishes slowly, waiting to see what the older man would do.

Youngbin propped his chin on Jaeyoon’s shoulder with a soft sigh and slipped his hand under the younger man’s shirt. He traced circles on the soft skin for a moment before moving lower and playing with the tie on his sweatpants.

Jaeyoon finished washing his dish and put it on the drying rack. He slowly reached for Youngbin’s dish to wash. Smirking wider, he pushed his hips back into Youngbin’s.

Youngbin’s bit his lip, smiling, and carefully undid the knot on Jaeyoon’s pants. His hand slipped under the fabric and under the waistband of Jaeyoon’s underwear to wrap loosely around his cock.

Jaeyoon sucked in a breath. He was careful not to drop the plate in his hand and worked to wash it quickly so he could put it down.

“Take your time,” Youngbin said quietly, “make sure the dishes are really clean.” As he said it, he started moving his hand in slow strokes.

Jaeyoon whined. He took slow calculated breaths and tried to focus on the plate in his hands, although that didn’t work very well. The friction Youngbin’s hand was creating felt amazing despite how slow he was moving.

Youngbin used his other hand to trace lightly on Jaeyoon’s stomach while picking up the pace of his strokes. He was having a little power trip, getting the younger man off like this, and it was making him hard against Jaeyoon’s thigh.

Jaeyoon let the plate fall into the sink with a clatter. He braced himself against the counter and tipped his head back to rest on Youngbin’s shoulder. He moaned quietly as he felt Youngbin harden against his thigh.

Youngbin nipped playfully at the yellowing bruise on Jaeyoon’s neck. “No dessert ‘til you finish the dishes,” he prodded playfully.

“Hyung,” Jaeyoon whined, “the dishes can wait ‘til the morning.” He could barely focus as it is and he didn’t want to risk breaking anything. Plus whatever Youngbin had planned would most certainly be more enjoyable.

“Nuh uh,” Youngbin hummed, “I don’t like to leave the dishes dirty.” In truth, he didn’t really mind, but he was having fun playing with Jaeyoon like this. He wanted to see how far he could push him until he tried to regain the upper hand again.

Jaeyoon whined loudly in defeat. He took a small step away from Youngbin, creating enough room that he could slide his hand between them and palm the elder again. Two can play at this game.

Youngbin had to take a moment to compose himself before tightening his grip and stroking Jaeyoon faster. He wasn’t losing this one. “Hard to wash dishes with just one hand, babe,” he murmured, kissing Jaeyoon's exposed throat.

Jaeyoon's mouth fell open and he let out a low moan. He didn't move his hand back to the sink yet. Instead he slid it to the waistband of Youngbin's pants. He knew if he just washed the last dish he would get what he wanted, but he wasn't ready to give Youngbin the satisfaction of winning.

Youngbin shifted his hips over, simultaneously moving away from Jaeyoon’s hand and pressing himself into the cleft of the younger man’s ass. His own hand moved from Jaeyoon’s cock down to cup his balls while his thumb pressed at the perineum.

Jaeyoon gasped loudly and finally picked his head off of Youngbin's shoulder. "H-Hyung," he moaned shakily. He was so close to giving in, but he really hated the thought of losing.

Youngbin hummed in acknowledgment, smirking. He nipped at the skin near his mouth, leaving tiny capillary bruises all over Jaeyoon’s neck.

Jaeyoon couldn't take it anymore. He huffed angrily and reached into the sink for the last plate. He washed it quickly and all but slammed it into the drying rack when he was done. "You win," he said between heavy breaths.

Youngbin finally let Jaeyoon go, taking a step back. “That wasn’t so hard, now was it?” he teased.

Jaeyoon pushed himself off the counter and spun around quickly to face Youngbin. He stared at the older man for a moment, jaw opening and closely. Eventually he gave up on trying to form words and instead pulled the elder closer so he could kiss him.

Youngbin kissed Jaeyoon deeply, but pulled away before it could go too far. “We’re not fucking in my kitchen,” he said, pulling the younger man down the hall to his bedroom.

"Sure seemed like you wanted to," Jaeyoon grumbled as he allowed Youngbin to pull him down the hallway. The moment they got into the bedroom, he threw his shirt to the side, but kept his sweatpants on for now.

“Any other room is fair game,” Youngbin said as he discarded his own shirt, “but the kitchen would be a biohazard.”

Jaeyoon rolled his eyes. “Fine,” he said, “we do have my kitchen after all.” No sooner was Youngbin’s shirt off of him than was Jaeyoon pushing him towards the bed.

Youngbin turned and pushed Jaeyoon down onto the bed, climbing on after to sit squarely on his hips. “How did your coworkers feel about this?” he asked, gesturing to the dark hickey adorning Jaeyoon’s neck.

Jaeyoon chuckled. “Some were disgusted, some were jealous, and a few were.... surprised,” he answered with a smirk.

“They should be jealous,” Youngbin said, “any man who gets a piece of your time is lucky.”  _ He  _ was lucky.

“Hyung, knock it off,” Jaeyoon whined. He wanted to hide his blushing cheeks into Youngbin’s neck, but he couldn’t so he was left to cover them with his hands.

Youngbin smirked and reached a hand out to tweak Jaeyoon’s nipple. He was intent on teasing tonight.

Jaeyoon’s hands flew from his face. He couldn’t flip them over so instead he sat up slightly and pulled Youngbin closer to him. “Be careful,” he whispered warningly.

“Or what?” Youngbin asked, grinding his hips against Jaeyoon’s subtly.

Jaeyoon bit his lip hard to hold back a moan. With a small smirk, he pulled Youngbin the rest of the way against him. Wasting no time, he sunk his teeth into the soft skin just above the elder's collarbone.

Youngbin groaned softly, tilting his head just slightly. “What’ll they think if you come in with a bigger bruise and a limp?” he asked.

Jaeyoon froze for a moment before composing himself. He sucked at the small bruise that was forming on Youngbin's skin for another moment before pulling away. "Don't make promises you can't keep," he said teasingly.

“Oh, I can definitely keep that one,” Youngbin said with a smirk. He reached down between them and palmed Jaeyoon’s crotch.

Jaeyoon snickered and went back to Youngbin's collarbone. He dug his teeth into the skin and pushed his hips up ever so slightly when the elder palmed him. He hated how needy he was but Youngbin knew all the right buttons to press and his stunt at the sink didn't help.

Jaeyoon was so hard already that it was almost impressive. “You’re so needy, baby,” Youngbin commented, “it’s cute.”

Jaeyoon whined loudly. He was so used to being in charge that he barely knew what to do with himself now that Youngbin had taken the lead. Trying to gain at least some control back, he fisted his hand in Youngbin's hair and pulled the elder closer to kiss him.

Youngbin cupped Jaeyoon’s jaw as he kissed him, still completely in control of this situation. It was cute how hard Jaeyoon was trying to gain the upper hand back.

Jaeyoon knew there wasn't much else he could do, but he wasn't going to make Youngbin's life any easier. He slowly slid his free hand down the elder's torso to play with the hem of his pants for a moment. Smirking into the kiss, he slid his hand down further to palm him.

Youngbin ground his hips into Jaeyoon’s hand, trapping it between them. “Just let me have you already,” he mumbled.

Jaeyoon finally conceded. He relaxed against the bed and tipped his head back, while his hand in Youngbin's hair slipped to his shoulder.

Youngbin sat up and shifted off of Jaeyoon to yank the younger man’s pants and underwear down to his thighs.

Jaeyoon bit his lips and stared up at Youngbin. "This isn't going to be very fun if I'm the only one naked," he teased. 

Youngbin smirked. “It is for me,” he said, fully intending on dragging this out and teasing Jaeyoon to the edge.

Jaeyoon pouted, knowing full well that wouldn't get him anywhere. "Fine," he said, settling his hands behind his head, "do your worst." He wasn't quite sure how far Youngbin would take this, but he was willing to find out.

Youngbin got off the bed and disappeared into the bathroom, reappearing a moment later with a bottle of lube. He climbed back on the bed, settling himself on Jaeyoon's thighs after pulling his pants the rest of the way off.

Jaeyoon watched Youngbin closely and smirked when he saw what the elder was holding. "What, that's it?" he teased, biting his lip as he peered up.

Youngbin smirked and put some lube in his hand. He wrapped his hand around the base of Jaeyoon's cock and slowly stroked upward.

Jaeyoon hummed and untucked his hands so he could grab the sheets below him. He smirked as he thought about pushing one of his thighs up, but he didn't want to do that quite yet.

Youngbin stroked Jaeyoon slowly, trying to rile him up with impatience. The flush that was starting to spread from Jaeyoon's cheeks down to his chest was so pretty and Youngbin wanted to see more of it.

Jaeyoon pushed his hips insistently into Youngbin's hand. He knew the older man was doing everything slow on purpose and he was growing more annoyed. 

Youngbin placed his other hand on Jaeyoon’s hip, pushing him back onto the mattress and keeping him there. He was going to drag this out as long as he could.

Jaeyoon whined loudly and uselessly tried to push his hips up against Youngbin's hand. Growling in frustration, he pushed one of his thighs up, hoping that Youngbin would get the message.

Youngbin let himself settle against Jaeyoon’s raised thigh. The pressure on his clothes cock kept him aroused but undistracted.

Jaeyoon huffed in annoyance. He really had no idea how Youngbin was ignoring everything he had tried. "If this is as fast as you go, I don't see how I'll be limping tomorrow," he quipped. Try as he might, he wasn't able to keep his voice from shaking slightly.

“I’m getting to that part,” Youngbin said. Letting go of Jaeyoon, he grabbed the lube again and put some on both of his hands. One returned to Jaeyoon’s cock while the other dipped down to press a finger to his entrance.

Jaeyoon hummed and pushed his hips into Youngbin's finger as much as he could. His fingers dug into the sheets in anticipation.

Youngbin slowly pushed his finger into Jaeyoon until he was buried down to the knuckle. At the same time, he kept stroking him slowly.

Jaeyoon's head fell back onto the bed and he moaned loudly. Youngbin's finger wasn't very long, but it was thicker and even the stretch of just one felt nice. After a few moments, Jaeyoon slowly rolled his hips against Youngbin's finger, encouraging him to do more.

Youngbin kept his pace constant but didn't stop Jaeyoon from moving this time, letting the younger man do as he pleased. He moved his finger slowly, pulling it almost all the way out before pushing it all the way back in.

Jaeyoon groaned loudly when Youngbin thrusted his finger. He rolled his hips again, a little faster this time. "You can add another," he gasped out. He certainly hoped the elder was done teasing him because he was growing quite desperate.

Youngbin knew he was being mean, but he wasn't going to be so awful. Although he didn't change his pace, he did push in another finger, crooking them both in an attempt to find Jaeyoon's prostate.

Jaeyoon moaned when Youngbin pushed in a second finger. The older man was so close to his prostate and it was driving him crazy. He didn't care how needy he was being anymore and desperately pushed his hips down.

Youngbin pulled his left hand away from Jaeyoon's cock for a moment so that he could push the younger man's thighs apart and settle himself between them.

Jaeyoon whined when Youngbin let go of his cock. He picked his head up and exhaled shakily when he felt the elder shift off of his thighs. 

Youngbin continued to finger Jaeyoon slowly, returning his other hand to the younger man's cock once he was settled. Fleetingly, he wondered if he could make Jaeyoon cum just from being fingered, but that was a thought for another day.

"Come on, hyung, just fuck me already," Jaeyoon said, almost begging. He had to practically take matters into his own hands since Youngbin was going so slow. He wasn't sure if he was more annoyed with how much patience Youngbin had or that the older man had reduced him to a whining, begging mess so quickly.

Youngbin decided he could be a little nicer. He pushed a third finger into Jaeyoon and started moving both of his hands incrementally faster. If he was going to fuck Jaeyoon to limping, he wasn't going to do it by not preparing him enough. Youngbin had too much pride to cheat like that.

Jaeyoon was surprised when Youngbin picked up the pace. He didn't get to enjoy that surprise for long before he was distracted by how good the elder's fingers felt inside him. He felt his hips stutter slightly, but it didn't matter because Youngbin was doing most of the work now.

Youngbin hadn't felt this good in ages, and Jaeyoon wasn't even touching him. Since he had been with Jaeyoon, he was starting to realize how toxic his relationship with Juho had been, especially the sex. While Youngbin hadn't minded either position, Juho had refused to bottom and so Youngbin was sometimes stuck in a position that he hadn't necessarily wanted to be in. With Jaeyoon, there was a lot more give and take, and he really enjoyed that. "Feel good?" he asked.

"S-So good," Jaeyoon gasped out. It had been a long time since he bottomed and he had almost forgotten how good it felt to be taken care of. He could live without the teasing though, but he had a plan to get Youngbin back for it later.

Youngbin hummed and pushed his fingers in as far as he could, crooking them in hopes of finally brushing over that one spot. He figured Jaeyoon was probably stretched enough, but it couldn't hurt to draw it out a little longer.

Jaeyoon cried out when the tips of Youngbin's fingers finally brushed over his prostate. He rolled his hips sharply, desperate for the same feeling of pleasure.

Youngbin smirked and pulled his fingers out. He got up and took off his pants and underwear, groaning in relief. He was so hard and it had taken all the patience he had to wait so long. "I don't think I have any condoms," he said apologetically as he climbed back on the bed.

"We don't need them," Jaeyoon gasped out. He laid there panting heavily trying to catch his breath in the brief moment he had. 

Youngbin hummed. Carefully, he settled between the younger man's thighs again and lined himself up, pushing in slowly.

Jaeyoon's gasp quickly morphed into a moan of pleasure. He took a couple deep breaths before slowly moving his hips against Youngbin's girth. The older man felt so perfect inside him and Jaeyoon was annoyed all over again that he had to wait so long for this.

Youngbin let himself slide in all the way to the hilt and pause for a moment before slowly starting to pull out again. Jaeyoon was still so tight around him and it had his control wavering.

Jaeyoon whined when he felt Youngbin start to pull out again. He wrapped his legs around the older man's waist, holding him in place. 

"I can't move at all if you're holding me like that," Youngbin grumbled, reaching back to pull Jaeyoon's legs apart again.

Jaeyoon whimpered quietly but let Youngbin unwrap his legs. He dropped them back onto the bed with a huff. He really was at the elder's mercy.

Youngbin wrapped his arms around Jaeyoon's thighs, holding the younger man in the position he needed, then suddenly thrust forward, slamming their hips together with a quiet grunt. His pace picked up from there, steady but not nearly as slow as it had been before.

Jaeyoon tipped his head back and his mouth fell open. He groaned loudly as Youngbin increased his pace. He had no need to roll his hips anymore and he let the older man take full control.

Youngbin continued snapping his hips roughly. He managed to keep his steady pace, but it was so hard. Jaeyoon felt, and looked, so good. It was hard for Youngbin to control himself.

Jaeyoon whimpered as Youngbin continued to pound into him. His hands came up to the elder's shoulders and he dug his nails into the soft skin.

Youngbin leaned down and bit into Jaeyoon’s neck, opposite from where he had bitten before. He had a sudden possessive streak, wanting everyone to know that the younger man was taken, even if it wasn’t strictly true.

Jaeyoon tipped his head back further, giving Youngbin access to his whole neck. The cynic in him couldn’t wait for Juho’s reaction when he went into the office in the morning.

Youngbin adjusted his grip on Jaeyoon’s legs, tilting the man’s hips higher and moving his own faster. He had given up on trying to drag this out. His only hope was that he managed to make Jaeyoon cum before he did.

Jaeyoon’s nails dug deeper into Youngbin’s shoulder. “I-I’m close,” he gasped out. The new angle felt amazing and Jaeyoon knew he wouldn’t last more than a few more thrusts.

Youngbin snaked one of his arms around to quickly jack Jaeyoon off. His own head was pressed to the younger man’s shoulder and he was panting heavily.

Jaeyoon lost it as soon as Youngbin grabbed his cock again. He came hard between them with a loud moan. Slowly, he let his nails scratch down Youngbin’s back.

Youngbin hissed in pain as Jaeyoon’s nails dragged down his back, but it was just enough to do him in. He came with a soft moan, his hips stuttering to a stop flush against Jaeyoon’s.

Jaeyoon moaned quietly when Youngbin came a few moments later. He let his hands rest on the older man’s waist. “That was incredible,” he whispered between heavy breaths. He didn’t want to admit it, but it was certainly worth all the teasing.

Youngbin smiled as he caught his breath. “Told you it’d be worth it,” he said.

“Don’t think you’re getting away with this that easy,” Jaeyoon warned. He tried his best to keep a straight face, but it didn’t work out like he had hoped.

Youngbin laughed softly. He pushed himself up and looked down at Jaeyoon for a moment before kissing him softly.

Jaeyoon kissed Youngbin back eagerly. It was weird to think how their relationship had evolved over the past few months. Speaking of their relationship, what even were they? Jaeyoon quickly pushed any extra thoughts from his head and focused his whole attention on Youngbin.

Youngbin was smiling as he pulled away from Jaeyoon. “Sorry I got you messy,” he said apologetically as he made to pull out.

Jaeyoon quickly wrapped his legs around Youngbin’s waist again, stopping him from pulling out. “I don’t mind,” he said lowly.

“So what is this revenge you’re planning to enact?” Youngbin asked. He laid back down, using his weight to roll them onto their sides so he didn’t crush Jaeyoon.

“Oh no, I’m not telling you, that would be too easy. I just don’t think the fun has to be over yet,” he said almost nonchalantly. With that, he leaned closer to kiss Youngbin again.

“I need a minute to recover,” Youngbin said, “I’m old, you know.” He still kissed Jaeyoon back regardless.

Jaeyoon chuckled. “Sorry, that excuse doesn’t fly after the stunt you just pulled,” he joked when they pulled away. He had no plans for round two tonight, but he didn’t mind messing around with Youngbin a little bit.

Youngbin rolled his eyes, but he found himself looking at Jaeyoon fondly. “I’m really glad I met you,” he said suddenly.

Jaeyoon blushed and lowered his eyes. “Thank you for trusting me,” he whispered. Youngbin had been through hell and back because of Juho and Jaeyoon was so grateful that the older man had taken a chance on him rather than shutting him out.

“Thank you for believing me,” Youngbin countered quietly. He was about to kiss Jaeyoon again when he heard his phone vibrate on the side table. He reached behind him blindly to grab it and groaned when he saw who it was. He had unblocked Juho on a bad night a few weeks earlier and hadn’t bothered to block him again, not expecting the younger man to actually text him. Chewing on his lip, he contemplated how to respond.

“Everything okay?” Jaeyoon asked slowly. Obviously it was none of his business but judging by Youngbin’s reaction it wasn’t good.

Youngbin decided he wanted to go the petty route. “How much do you care about your working relationship with Juho?” he asked, peering over the top of his phone.

Jaeyoon’s eyes widened. “Uh, not much unless we’re project partners, but that hasn’t happened in years,” he answered cautiously, “why?” He wasn’t quite sure what Youngbin was planning and to be honest he was a little nervous.

Youngbin turned his phone toward Jaeyoon so the younger man could see the message he’d received. “How many of my coworkers are you going to sleep with?” he quoted.

“That bastard has a lot of nerve,” Jaeyoon growled. Sure, he had provoked Juho a little bit yesterday, but his coworker had no right to be texting Youngbin something like that.

“I don’t even know what to say,” Youngbin admitted, “I’m not just gonna take that shit from him, but...” He trailed off with a shrug.

“He doesn’t fucking deserve your attention,” Jaeyoon said firmly. He took Youngbin’s phone from his hand and tossed it on the bed behind him. “I’ll take care of him tomorrow. You just enjoy the rest of your night.” He leaned forward to kiss Youngbin softly.

“I don’t know,” Youngbin said anxiously, dodging the kiss, “doesn’t not answering look just as bad as answering defensively? I don't mind him knowing but I don’t want him getting the wrong impression of what this is. He’s not below starting rumors about either of us.”

Jaeyoon narrowed his eyes. “What do you mean, get the wrong impression? Besides, if he spreads rumors, it’s going to be around the office so the only one it’ll hurt is me,” he replied. He didn’t like the idea of Youngbin giving into Juho, but it wasn’t really his place to decide what Youngbin did.

“He thinks that I’m, like, sleeping with you to get back at him or something,” Youngbin said, “you read the message.” He had casual friends that worked in a different part of the office - which was how he had met Juho in the first place - and he would rather them not think that he was whoring himself out as an act of revenge, especially when he no longer cared about getting Juho back. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled, tucking his head into Jaeyoon’s shoulder, “he just makes me so insecure.”

“Oh, hyung, don’t be sorry. I just don't want you to have to deal with this asshole anymore,” Jaeyoon said quietly. He wrapped Youngbin in his arms and pulled the elder closer. He was infuriated that Juho had the balls to text Youngbin again and he felt horrible with how shaken just one text message left the elder. “Tell him whatever you are comfortable with without lying.”

Youngbin was tempted to respond, but he knew that the best thing to do was to just ignore it. Juho shouldn’t be able to get into his head anymore. He grabbed his phone and turned around to plug it in, then left it on the nightstand, facedown, message unanswered. “I’d rather talk to you,” he said.

Jaeyoon smiled softly. “How much longer until you can go back to your students?” he asked, hoping that would distract Youngbin enough.

“I’m hoping the week after next,” Youngbin said with a sigh, “but maybe earlier if the administration lets me.”

Jaeyoon hummed in understanding. “If you’re feeling better, I don’t see why they wouldn’t,” he said encouragingly.

“I miss the kids,” Youngbin said, “and I have no idea what they’ve had them doing while I’ve been gone. I’d have gone back weeks ago if I thought I could.”

Jaeyoon nuzzled into Youngbin’s hair. “I’m sure they miss you too. Hopefully they had someone competent filling in but you can never be too sure with the school system,” he said.

Youngbin yawned and glanced over at his clock. “We should shower before it gets too late and I fall asleep,” he said, finally letting himself pull out of Jaeyoon.

“A shower could always wait until morning,” Jaeyoon said, wrapping himself around Youngbin again. He was much too comfortable to even think about moving at the moment. Even a shower wasn’t quite enticing enough.

Youngbin hummed. He could take that deal. “What time do you need to get up?” He asked, reaching for his alarm.

“Seven thirty. I’ll be as quiet as a mouse, I promise,” Jaeyoon said. He waited for Youngbin to roll back over so he could settle down.

Youngbin turned on the alarm and set it back on the nightstand. “Don’t wanna make you late,” he said as he rolled back over.

“You won’t make me late,” Jaeyoon assured. He snuggled up to Youngbin and sighed contently when he was comfortable.

Youngbin sighed happily and pillowed his head on Jaeyoon’s shoulder. “Night,” he mumbled.

Jaeyoon couldn't even look in Juho's direction the following morning. He was too pissed off at the younger man for texting Youngbin. By the time the end of the day rolled around, he couldn't take it anymore. He stalked over to Juho's desk and slammed his fists down loudly. "What the  _ fuck _ is your problem?" he spat.

Juho was chatting with Seokwoo as he finished closing down his computer and jumped when Jaeyoon suddenly slammed his hands down on his desk. “What  _ is _ my problem?” he asked, composing himself. He had an inkling that this was about Youngbin, but he couldn’t fathom why.

"I'm not really sure or we wouldn't be having this conversation, now would we?" Jaeyoon snapped, "but you need to leave Youngbin hyung alone. He's gone through enough shit because of you and he doesn't need your jealous ass badgering him anymore." He knew it was ridiculous to think of Juho as jealous, but Jaeyoon wasn't particularly worried about that.

Juho had hoped it wouldn’t come to this, but he was fully prepared to lie his way out of it. It wasn’t like Youngbin would even find out that he wasn’t being truthful about their breakup, especially if he planted a seed of doubt in Jaeyoon’s mind. He took a deep breath, grateful for Seokwoo’s steady hand on his shoulder. “I don’t know what he told you, but it was probably a lie,” he said calmly, “he’s the one that broke up with me and now that I’m happy with Seokwoo, he’s trying to get me back. Whatever he says you two have isn’t real. Trust me.”

"Don't fuck with me. He's been..." Jaeyoon trailed off. How could he claim that Youngbin had been throwing up flowers because of Juho when he didn't even fully believe it himself? Jaeyoon's mind was spinning and the only thing he knew was that he was angry. He curled his hand into a fist and before he could stop himself, he socked Juho right in the jaw. Youngbin couldn't be the one lying, right? Right?!

The only thing that kept Juho from stumbling backwards was Seokwoo standing behind him. “What the fuck?” he yelled, wiping blood off his lip.

"You have no idea what you're talking about," Jaeyoon growled. He clamped his fists together to keep them from shaking. Maybe Juho was right. What did he and Youngbin even have? Nothing. They had slept together twice and barely knew each other. Maybe Jaeyoon really was just a rebound.

Juho was still in shock from having been punched. Seokwoo kept him from lunging back at Jaeyoon and dragged them both to HR. In the end, they only needed to look at Juho’s bruised face and Jaeyoon’s bruised knuckles to suspend the older man for the rest of the week.

Jaeyoon didn't care about the suspension. He was more annoyed that punching Juho hadn't made him feel better. When he got home, he slammed his apartment door shut and angrily pulled his tie off. Not even bothering to get changed, he collapsed into bed and wrapped himself around a pillow. He was still shaking and he wasn't sure who he was more angry at: Juho, Youngbin, or himself.

Youngbin was working on updating his curriculum for when he was able to get back to work when he heard Jaeyoon get home. His neighbor’s door slammed, shaking his wall and making him flinch. Getting up, he walked into the bedroom, knocking on the wall. He wasn’t sure what was making Jaeyoon so angry, but he was sure he could help.

Jaeyoon turned away from the sound of the knocking. He just wanted to be alone to cool off. He was just overreacting. Everything would be okay in the morning. His head was swarmed with overlapping thoughts and Jaeyoon could feel a headache beginning to form in his temples.

Youngbin frowned when he didn’t get a knock in return. Sitting down on his bed, he picked up his phone and texted Jaeyoon, asking if he was okay.

Jaeyoon wasn't surprised when his phone buzzed a few minutes later. He simply replied with "I'm fine." before shutting it off and tossing it across the bed.

Youngbin sighed. He closed his phone and rolled over to lay against the wall. “I know you can hear me,” he said, “these walls are thin as fuck. Did something happen today?”

Jaeyoon sighed in defeat. "I'm fine, hyung. I just don't feel good," he replied through the wall. It wasn't even a lie. His headache was getting worse and his stomach was in knots. He would never dream of lying to Youngbin anyway, although it didn't seem like the older man held the same sentiment.

“Do you want me to come over?” Youngbin asked. He knew there wasn’t much he could do if Jaeyoon just didn’t feel well, but sometimes just having company helped.

"No, no, I'm okay," Jaeyoon said quickly. He was still too angry about everything that happened earlier to face Youngbin. Besides, Youngbin would figure him out if he came over and Jaeyoon couldn't afford to let that happen. 

Youngbin sighed. “Okay,” he said unsurely, “let me know if you need anything.”

Jaeyoon didn't say anything further. Instead, he rolled over and tried to take a nap. He didn't realize he was successful until he blinked his eyes open to a pitch black room. On top of his pounding head, Jaeyoon's knuckles were throbbing and his stomach was still in knots. One look at his clock revealed it was already nearly nine o'clock and he had no idea how he managed to sleep that long. Not bothering to grab his phone Jaeyoon fumbled through his bedroom, nearly running into the wall, before making his way to the door.

Youngbin couldn’t focus on his curriculum so he had resorted to doing chores instead. He cleaned his entire kitchen and did all of his laundry, still worrying about Jaeyoon.

Jaeyoon stumbled into his kitchen and filled himself a glass of water. He chugged the whole thing and slammed the glass onto the counter, nearly shattering it. Between everything that had happened and standing up from the bed too fast, his head was spinning, so he collapsed into a chair. He knew Youngbin would demand to know what happened but he didn't know what to say. He didn't like the idea of lying, but how was he supposed to say the truth?

Youngbin was in the middle of folding his laundry when he got a text. “So who’s next on the list? Sanghyuk? Taeyang?” His hands shook as he put the phone down, doing his best to ignore Juho. For some reason, he couldn’t bring himself to just block the younger man.

Jaeyoon had no idea why he was throwing himself a pity party in the middle of his kitchen. His and Youngbin's relationship escalated too quickly for him to even pretend to be surprised he was lied to. Even though he wasn't tired, he dragged himself back into his bedroom so he could get changed and lay down. This was certainly going to be a long week off.

Youngbin couldn’t control himself. He needed to set Juho straight or it would continue to bother him. “Leave me alone,” he texted back simply.

"What, so you can continue to use my coworkers? I don't think so. What's your game anyway? See how many people in my office you can fuck before I come crawling back?" Juho replied.

“Even if it is, why do you care?” Youngbin typed back before he could stop himself. He knew he shouldn’t engage, he knew that, but he couldn’t help it.

"Because that's fucked. Look, I get you're upset, but don't take it out on other people. Jaeyoon's a good guy, he doesn't deserve to be led on because you're desperate," Juho sent. He knew he was being harsh, but he didn't care. Youngbin had twisted his coworker against him and that didn't fly.

Youngbin felt like crying. What had he done to deserve this? “My life doesn’t revolve around you. Leave Jaeyoon out of it and let me have something good in my life for once.”

"You did this to yourself," Juho typed back immediately. With that, he left his phone on the counter and walked into the living room to tuck himself into Seokwoo's side on the couch.

“Fuck off. Leave me alone.” Youngbin typed back. He dropped the phone on the bed and buried his head in his hands, shaking like a leaf. He didn’t owe Juho an explanation, so why did he feel so awful about it all?

Jaeyoon didn't know what to think. He was exhausted, despite his previous nap, so he wasn't opposed to falling asleep. Which for some reason proved to be more difficult than he expected.

Youngbin didn’t know when he started crying. He had just been starting to feel like himself again and Juho had to go and dump all of this on him. He was tired of being miserable about this.

Jaeyoon was half asleep when he heard crying. He groaned to himself. What happened now? He could only assume it was Juho. Worse than that, Jaeyoon couldn’t even bring himself to care. He did however roll over and knock on the wall so that Youngbin knew he could hear him.

Youngbin heard the knock, but he didn’t want to talk to Jaeyoon. He didn’t need the younger man to be disappointed in him for engaging. Instead of responding, he moved into a different part of the apartment where he couldn’t hear Jaeyoon and the younger man couldn’t hear him.

The crying had gotten much quieter after Youngbin moved into a different part of the apartment. The last time Jaeyoon had heard the man cry was because he had gotten sick. Maybe Youngbin had gotten sick again and he really was still in love with Juho. Jaeyoon pushed the thoughts from his head and settled down to try and get some sleep.

Youngbin ended up crying himself to sleep on the couch. When he woke up in the morning, his head was pounding and his eyes felt crusted shut. The first thing he did when he managed to drag himself off the couch around noon was text Jaeyoon, just a simple “I’m sorry.”

Jaeyoon had no idea what time he woke up. His head was pounding, which was not helped by how thirsty he was, and his hand was swollen. He snagged his phone from its spot on the bed and padded into the kitchen. He wasn’t particularly hungry so he just grabbed a piece of fruit and a tall glass of water. The text that came through from Youngbin when he turned it on surprised Jaeyoon. He had no idea what Youngbin was apologizing for, but he could pretend it was for lying to him. Sighing softly, he responded “It’s fine,” before putting his phone back down.

Youngbin managed to clean himself and finish putting away his laundry from the night before. Once he was done, he had a lot of time to think. Was Juho right? Was he really leading Jaeyoon on? Youngbin felt like a horrible person.

Jaeyoon looked through the measly first aid kit in his bathroom and he wasn’t surprised that there weren’t any ice packs. His hand was killing him so he had no choice but to get dressed and brave going to the convenience store down the block.

Youngbin knew he needed to actually talk to Jaeyoon. The younger man deserved more than a half assed apology, plus he wanted to make sure the younger man was okay. Just as he was leaving his apartment to go over to see Jaeyoon, he met the younger man in the hallway.

Jaeyoon stopped in his tracks when he saw Youngbin in the hallway. He quickly slipped his swollen hand into his pocket so the older man didn’t see it. “Uh, hi, hyung,” he greeted as politely as he could manage.

“Hi,” Youngbin said quietly, suddenly incredibly nervous, “Are you feeling better?”

“Yeah, thanks for asking,” Jaeyoon replied simply. He was hoping if he kept his answers short Youngbin would get the hint to stop asking questions.

Youngbin bit his lip. Jaeyoon was obviously angry and it obviously had something to do with him. “I’m sorry,” he said lamely.

“You don’t have to apologize,” Jaeyoon said simply. He shifted on his feet awkwardly. He didn’t want Youngbin’s apologies, considering the older man probably didn’t even mean them.

Youngbin rubbed the back of his neck then crossed his arms protectively. “I don’t even know what I’m apologizing for,” he admitted, “I just know that whatever is upsetting you is my fault.”

Jaeyoon sighed sadly. They couldn’t do this now; not in the hallway of their apartment building. “Don’t worry about it,” he said quickly, “just focus on feeling better.” The sooner Youngbin got over Juho, the sooner he would leave Jaeyoon alone and that was all he needed.

“I-I’ll leave you alone now,” Youngbin said quietly, turning back toward his own apartment. He had fucked this up big time.

If it wasn’t for Jaeyoon’s throbbing hand, he would have stopped the older man. Instead he turned on his heels and headed to the convenience store and back in record time. He broke the ice pack and paced around his kitchen shaking it until it was cold enough. He nearly cried out in relief when he placed the cold pack over his bruised knuckles.

Youngbin wanted to cry again but he knew that wouldn’t fix anything. He had to give Jaeyoon space, so instead he buckled down and focused on his work. That was all he could do.

Jaeyoon knew he had to talk to Youngbin, but what would he even say? A small voice in the back of his mind was telling him not to believe Juho, but for what? So he could pretend that Youngbin actually cared about him? No, he couldn’t do that. He didn’t realize he had subconsciously tightened his grip on the ice pack until his hand began to throb.

Youngbin shoved his headphones in his ears and got to work, blasting music to drown out the silence. If Jaeyoon needed him, he knew where to go.

Jaeyoon just sat at his kitchen table, icing his hand. It wasn't like he had anything else to do. With a sigh he leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes.


	6. Chapter 6

It wasn’t until the next day that Youngbin had to deal with Juho again. It was nearly ten at night when his phone suddenly started to ring. “I thought I told you to leave me the fuck alone,” he said heatedly when he answered. Juho hummed on the other end of the line. “I’m just checking in on behalf of my beloved coworkers,” he said airily, “making sure you’re not involving any more of them in your petty revenge.”

Jaeyoon was sitting in bed, leaning against the headrest. He had his laptop on his lap and the television on low for background noise. The one negative of his suspension was that all of his work was still due so he was left to spend his nights catching up. At one point, he could have sworn he heard noise coming through the wall and he turned off the TV to make sure he wasn't going crazy. 

“There was never any petty revenge,” Youngbin said, getting louder as he got angrier, “all I want is to move on and you won’t fucking let me!”

Jaeyoon quickly realized he wasn’t going crazy when he heard Youngbin start yelling louder. The only one he could be that angry at would be Juho but Jaeyoon didn’t hear another voice. He tried not to eavesdrop but it was hard when Youngbin was only getting louder and the walls were paper thin.

Youngbin didn’t let Juho get a word in edgewise as he continued to rant. “You let me suffer blindly in our relationship for months, left me for someone else, kept showing up acting like you ever cared, then the  _ second _ I find someone else who actually makes me happy, you go and sabotage it! I don’t even know what the  _ fuck _ you told Jaeyoon, because now he won’t talk to me. Why do you care so much about me being happy without you when you never cared if I was happy  _ with _ you in the first place?” Youngbin’s voice was loud enough to ring around his bedroom once he was done. He was met with stunned silence.

Jaeyoon’s eyes widened as he listened to Youngbin. He actually made the older man happy? He quickly shook his head and brought his hands to his face. Jaeyoon had no idea what to think, but he knew he needed to talk with Youngbin the minute he got off the phone.

When Juho didn’t respond, Youngbin took a deep breath. “You and I are not involved anymore. I  _ really _ like Jaeyoon, so please just leave us alone.” With that, he hung up and finally blocked Juho, once and for all.

Jaeyoon sat there in silence for a moment. Youngbin actually liked him? Maybe not anymore, considering how Jaeyoon had treated him the past few days. Taking a deep breath, Jaeyoon raised his arm to knock on the wall, wondering if the older man would even respond to him.

Youngbin jumped in surprise when Jaeyoon knocked on the wall. He sighed. The younger man had obviously overheard everything. There was no use avoiding this. Slowly, he leaned over and knocked back.

"Hyung, can I...can I come over?" Jaeyoon asked slowly. He knew Youngbin probably wanted his space, but he couldn't help asking.

“Yeah,” Youngbin said, “no point dragging this out.” If Jaeyoon was going to dump him, he’d rather get it over with.

Jaeyoon slowly scooted off the bed and wandered through his apartment to get to the hallway. He stood outside Youngbin's door for a moment with a hand on the knob. Taking a deep breath, he pushed the door open and slowly made his way into the bedroom to find Youngbin.

Youngbin looked up when Jaeyoon stepped into his bedroom. “Hey,” he said quietly, “sorry about all the noise.”

Jaeyoon quickly shook his head. "It's me who owes you an apology," he said softly. He stared down at his feet, too nervous to even look at Youngbin.

“What? No,” Youngbin said, shaking his head fervently. He had treated Jaeyoon awfully and taken advantage of his kindness. “Wait, what happened to your hand?”

Jaeyoon stared at his hand almost as if he didn't expect it to still be swollen. "I, um... I," he rubbed the back of his neck nervously, "might have punched Juho at work the other day." His voice was no louder than a whisper.

“Why?” Youngbin asked, suddenly even more nervous, “what did he say to you?”

"He said that there's nothing between us and you're just trying to get him back," he admitted slowly, "I'm sorry, hyung." He kept his head hung, like a child waiting for a punishment.

“What for?” Youngbin asked. He stood up and approached Jaeyoon, carefully taking the younger man’s injured hand in his own.

Jaeyoon flinched slightly when Youngbin took his hand. "I should have talked to you. Instead I hid because I got scared that maybe... maybe he was telling the truth. I'm so sorry," he mumbled quickly. 

“No, it’s...it’s okay,” Youngbin said, frowning at the bruise on Jaeyoon’s knuckles, “if I’m honest, I believed him a little bit too, and I actually knew the truth. I don’t blame you.”

Jaeyoon chewed on his lip; he felt so guilty about everything. "It's not okay. I should have never believed him. I promised I'd be here for you and I...I wasn't," he said quietly. He stared at his hand for a moment, but didn't pull it away.

Youngbin sighed. “It’s behind us now, right?” he said. So long as Jaeyoon was on his side, he was okay. If Juho had really managed to drive that much of a wedge between them, he didn’t know what he would do.

Jaeyoon nodded. "I don't want him to ruin us," he whispered. Inside he was absolutely terrified; what if he had already ruined everything?

“Neither do I,” Youngbin said quietly, “he’s ruined my life enough. I just want to focus on us now. Is that okay?”

Jaeyoon nodded again. Taking a deep breath, he slowly raised his eyes to meet Youngbin's. He mustered a small smile as his nerves slowly began to calm down.

Youngbin finally cracked a smile. “I can’t believe you punched him,” he said with a small laugh, “I’ve never had someone defend my honor like that before.”

Jaeyoon dropped his eyes back to the floor promptly as a slight blush spread across his cheeks. "He's been so shitty to you for so long. He deserved it," he mumbled, "I have to admit it felt good in the moment, but my hand's been killing me ever since."

Youngbin hummed. “It looks like you might have dislocated a knuckle,” he said, inspecting the bruising more closely.

"You think so?" Jaeyoon asked, inspecting his hand. It certainly hurt enough that he wouldn't be surprised. "I should just be able to pop it back into place then, right?" He really didn't like the idea of going all the way to the doctor for one dislocated knuckle.

“It’s been, what, two days?” Youngbin said, “you might need to have it splinted after it’s popped back in.” He’d seen enough goalies have the same injury in high school to have some experience with it.

Jaeyoon groaned. “Yeah it has. I’ll go see a doctor tomorrow,” he said. At least it would give him something to do.

“Well, let’s get some ice on it for now and I can drive you to the walk-in tomorrow,” Youngbin said. He led Jaeyoon into the kitchen and grabbed a bag of frozen vegetables from the freezer.

“Thanks, hyung,” Jaeyoon said as he followed Youngbin. He sighed when the cold bag of vegetables pressed against his bruised knuckles.

Youngbin watched Jaeyoon for a moment before leaning over to kiss the corner of Jaeyoon’s mouth. “Let’s go on a date,” he said when he pulled away.

Jaeyoon stared at Youngbin for a moment, making sure he heard him right. “When and where?” he asked, breaking into a smile.

“Why not tonight?” Youngbin suggested. He wanted to prove that he really was serious about Jaeyoon.

"That sounds great," Jaeyoon said eagerly. He didn't even care where they went, he was just excited to spend some time with Youngbin.

“Pick where you want to go,” Youngbin said, “my treat.” He figured he owed Jaeyoon for his chivalry.

"How about a movie? I can't really do anything too adventurous," Jaeyoon said. Almost as if on cue, he moved his fingers weird and winced as a sharp pain shot up his arm.

“That sounds good,” Youngbin said with a smile, before he realized, “except maybe we go tomorrow night because it’s like ten thirty...”

Jaeyoon's eyes shot to the clock on the wall. "I didn't even realize it was that late," he said sheepishly.

Youngbin smiled. Jaeyoon was adorable. “We can watch a movie on the couch,” he offered, “and I’m not opposed to late night brownies either.”

"I will never say no to movies and a brownie," Jaeyoon said with a hum, "you can take this back. I can't really feel my hand anymore." He pulled the bag of vegetables away from his hand to reveal that the parts that were not bruised were a bright red.

Youngbin took the bag and tossed it back in the freezer. “Give me ten minutes to get the brownies in the oven. Why don’t you go find a movie to watch?”

"Okay," Jaeyoon agreed easily. He stood up from the chair and pecked Youngbin's cheek gently. Giggling happily, he disappeared into the living room and flopped down on the couch to find something to watch.

Youngbin grabbed a box of brownie mix from the cabinet and quickly mixed it up and poured it into a pan. Once the brownies were baking, he cleaned up then went to curl up next to Jaeyoon on the couch.

Jaeyoon had found a Marvel movie he had already seen and put in on the TV. That way he would be able to pay more attention to Youngbin without worrying about missing anything. He shifted on the couch so he could tuck the older man under his arm and sighed contentedly when he was settled.

Youngbin settled against Jaeyoon’s side with a happy sigh. “This movie is really good,” he said.

Jaeyoon simply hummed in agreement. His attention was solely on Youngbin. Despite everything, he was still having trouble understanding how much the man in his arms cared about him.

Youngbin couldn’t stay focused on the movie. He found himself staring up at Jaeyoon instead. “I like you so much,” he said quietly, “it scares me.”

Jaeyoon looked down at Youngbin, smiling softly. "It's okay to be scared. Everything happened so fast," he said soothingly, "I'm scared too." It wasn't a lie. He was terrified of what could happen, especially considering that Juho had almost ripped them apart so easily.

Youngbin hummed. He was scared of leading Jaeyoon on. Realistically, he knew he was far from in love with Juho anymore, but how was he supposed to prove it to Jaeyoon definitively?

"Hey, hey, don't look so glum. Everything is gonna be okay. I promise," Jaeyoon said soothingly. He had no idea if he would be the one to make sure everything was going to be okay, but he was sure it would be.

“Are we an official thing now?” Youngbin asked hesitantly. He didn’t want Jaeyoon to think he was rushing into things, but he also didn’t want this to just be sex.

"If you're ready to be. I don't want you to jump into anything if it's too soon," Jaeyoon said. He would be more than happy to consider them an official couple, but he didn't mind waiting a little longer if Youngbin needed it.

“I don’t want this to just be sex,” Youngbin said seriously, “I want you to know that I’m serious about this. About you.”

"Then let's be official," he said decisively. The thought of getting to call Youngbin his boyfriend had him smiling widely. 

Youngbin smiled widely and leaned up to kiss Jaeyoon happily. “You’re so cute,” he said.

"Stop it," Jaeyoon whined. He leaned down to kiss the elder again so that he couldn't compliment him anymore.

“Will you grant me a moment of pettiness?” Youngbin asked, sliding his phone out of his pocket. He loved documenting things, but Juho had hated pictures, so he hoped Jaeyoon was a little more open.

"Sure," Jaeyoon acquiesced, "but you have to do it right." He shifted himself on the couch so that he could lay down with Youngbin tucked completely into his side.

Youngbin smiled as he leaned against Jaeyoon. “Say cheese,” he requested as he held his phone up. He snapped a few different pictures before he decided on one and posted it with a cute caption.

Jaeyoon watched over Youngbin's shoulder as he posted the picture. "Such a shame I won't be able to see his reaction in person tomorrow," Jaeyoon said. He would have loved to see the sneer of contempt that would have stained Juho's face when he walked into the office.

Youngbin smiled and kissed Jaeyoon softly. He hadn’t felt this warm and happy in forever. It was a nice feeling, to be with someone that he could tell cared so much.

Jaeyoon kissed Youngbin back gently. He was still trying to wrap his head around everything but slowly but surely the pieces of this complex puzzle were coming together.

The next day found Youngbin and Jaeyoon sitting in an ER exam room. Although the doctor was pretty certain what was wrong with Jaeyoon’s hand, he had ordered an X-ray to be certain, so they were waiting for them to come back.

The doctor came back with the X-ray, clipped it to the board, and switched on the light so Jaeyoon and Youngbin could see. “If you look right here,” the doctor said, circling the base of Jaeyoon’s second and third fingers, "you’ll see hairline fractures on top of this dislocated joint.” He moved his finger to the knuckle that was clearly out of place. “We can reset this joint for you and if you’re careful enough you should be okay in a soft cast for a few weeks.”

Youngbin frowned as the doctor explained Jaeyoon’s injury. He felt bad that the younger man had gotten hurt defending him, especially when he hadn’t necessarily needed to. He’d gotten Jaeyoon to tell him what exactly Juho had said and it wasn’t all a lie. Technically speaking, Youngbin was the one that had ended the relationship and he had originally wanted the younger man back, although that had nothing to do with why he had started seeing Jaeyoon. He just felt so guilty about the whole thing.

Jaeyoon wasn’t particularly surprised with the diagnosis. He was just glad to have the cast to support his hand so it wouldn’t hurt as much. Once he was all patched up they were sent on their way home and now had the rest of the afternoon to relax until their date. “Thanks for driving me, hyung,” Jaeyoon said.

“Of course,” Youngbin said, not taking his eyes off the road, “I imagine trying to hold anything has got to hurt.”

“Yeah, but that’s okay. I’ve gotten much better at using my left hand so that’s a plus,” Jaeyoon said. He was usually okay as long as he didn’t try to flex his fingers, which was harder to avoid than he anticipated.

Youngbin hummed in understanding as he pulled into the parking lot of their apartment building. “What do you want for lunch?” He asked when they got in the elevator.

“Hm. I have some pasta that’s been sitting in my cabinets forever that we can make mac and cheese with,” Jaeyoon suggested. He wasn’t particularly hungry, but he knew he couldn’t refuse food, especially with Youngbin.

“Oh, I haven’t made that in a while,” Youngbin said excitedly. He used a secret recipe for his mac and cheese, something he had discovered while experimenting in culinary school, and he was excited for Jaeyoon to be able to try it.

Jaeyoon smiled fondly. It was so cute to see Youngbin so excited about something, especially cooking. “I guess it would be easier to just cook in my apartment then,” he said, walking towards his own door when they got off the elevator.

Youngbin hummed, following closely behind Jaeyoon. He hadn’t been in the younger man’s apartment since the first time they’d had sex. It was set up opposite his own and he was impressed with Jaeyoon’s taste for decorating.

“I can’t really be of much help, but I can at least tell you where everything is,” Jaeyoon said apologetically. Even though he had only a fractured finger, it rendered him so useless.

“That’s okay,” Youngbin said with a happy smile, “as long as you can still stir a pot, you can be helpful.”

“That I can do,” Jaeyoon agreed. He slowly gathered everything that Youngbin might need and stepped to the side, waiting for instructions.

Youngbin hunted around until he found Jaeyoon’s pots. He pulled out one larger pot and filled it with water before setting it to boil. “I’m gonna have you cook the pasta,” he said.

“You sure you trust me with that?” Jaeyoon teased. Even with both hands functional, Jaeyoon wasn’t exactly what you would call proficient in the kitchen.

“You can’t be any worse than a high schooler,” Youngbin said with a shrug. “Once the pasta’s in the water, I’ll start on the cheese mix.”

“Oh you’d be surprised,” Jaeyoon said, “you know this could be good practice so you aren’t as rusty when you go back to your students.” He stood against the counter with his arms crossed carefully as he waited for the water to boil.

“I teach freshmen,” Youngbin said, deadpan, “nothing surprises me anymore.” He dug through Jaeyoon’s fridge, pulling out all the different cheeses he could find.

Jaeyoon rolled his eyes fondly. “How many stoves have your students set on fire?” he asked curiously.

“You think the school would let me use actual stoves?” Youngbin asked incredulously, “they use hot plates, which they get in a _lot_ of trouble for messing with.”

Jaeyoon’s eyes widened slightly. “Yeah I can imagine,” he mumbled.

“I’ve had a couple of burnt hands and fingers, but nothing major and no fires,” Youngbin said, “you can probably put the pasta in now.”

Jaeyoon turned around to pour the measured amount of pasta into the water. He set a timer and stirred the pasta slowly making sure it didn’t stick.

Youngbin grated some cheese then pulled out a smaller pot to melt it in. He added a bit of milk and soon had a goopy, cheesy sauce ready for whenever the pasta was done.

Jaeyoon watched Youngbin closely. It didn’t seem too complicated and if all went well maybe he could surprise Youngbin by making this himself one day in the future.

Youngbin smiled when he caught Jaeyoon watching him closely. He knew the younger man was trying to memorize the recipe, that much was obvious. It was cute, really.

Jaeyoon knew he was caught when he saw Youngbin smile. Considering he had nothing to lose now, he openly watched the older man, while still managing to keep an eye on the pasta.

“Is the pasta ready?” Youngbin asked as he turned the sauce down to simmer. He was starving and way too ready for the food to be done.

“Almost,” Jaeyoon said. A couple minutes later the timer went off and he shut the stove off. Setting the wooden spoon to the side, he went to pick up the pot to drain in. Unfortunately, he wasn’t very successful because a sharp pain shot through his fingers the moment he tried to curl them around the pot handles.

Youngbin rushed over and took the pot from Jaeyoon before the younger man spilled boiling water all over himself. “Careful, babe,” he said, “can you turn on the cold water?”

Jaeyoon nodded simply and stepped over to the sink to turn the water on. As annoying as his injury was, it was completely worth it. 

Youngbin stepped over to the sink and grabbed a handheld strainer. He held its handle together with the pot handle and used it to keep the pasta in the pot while he drained the water.

Jaeyoon decided to set the table while Youngbin finished up the mac and cheese. Once he was done, he slid into a chair and rested his head on his good hand.

Youngbin poured the drained pasta into a pan and poured the cheese mix over it, using the wooden spoon to mix it all together. He preheated the oven then sprinkled the rest of his grated cheese over the top. Once the oven was hot enough, he slid the tray in and set a timer for twenty minutes.

Jaeyoon frowned slightly as he watched Youngbin put the mac and cheese in the oven. There was no way he'd be able to do this even on a good day, so he was going to have to come up with something else to surprise the older man. "So what exactly are we supposed to do for twenty minutes while we wait?" he asked nonchalantly.

“Well, what do you have in mind?” Youngbin said, leaning on the counter with a teasing smile.

Jaeyoon pushed himself up from the chair and walked over to Youngbin. He rested his hands against the counter on each side of the older man, trapping him. "Nothing in particular," he whispered.

Youngbin bit his lip, eyes flirting between Jaeyoon’s eyes and his lips. “I’m sure we could find something.”

Jaeyoon chuckled quietly before slowly leaning forward to kiss Youngbin gently. He had no idea why he had almost let Juho ruin this, but he quickly pushed that thought from his mind.

Youngbin hummed happily as Jaeyoon kissed him. “You make me really happy,” he said when the younger man pulled away, “I know you heard me say that yesterday but I wanted to tell you directly.”

Jaeyoon smiled widely and pressed his forehead to Youngbin's. "You make me really happy too," he whispered softly.

“C’mon, I bet there’s something on TV that we can easily ignore for the next fifteen minutes,” Youngbin said.

“Oh I’m sure,” Jaeyoon agreed. He took Youngbin’s hand in his own and walked them into the living room. He clicked the TV on, not caring what was on, and dropped onto the couch, practically pulling Youngbin with him.

Youngbin laughed as he was pulled on top of Jaeyoon. “Careful of your hand,” he said, adjusting until he was tucked into the younger man’s side.

“It’s fine, hyung,” Jaeyoon said with an exasperated sigh. He wrapped his arm around Youngbin so he could hold the older man close.

“You punched someone for me,” Youngbin replied, “let me baby you a little bit.”

“Fine, fine,” Jaeyoon said quietly. He repositioned himself on the couch so he was more comfortable and sighed contentedly when he was settled. “So what exactly does babying me entail?” he asked jokingly.

“Well, I guess it started with making you Mac and cheese,” Youngbin teased, “and taking you to the doctor.”

“Well yeah, but I want to know how long I can milk this for,” Jaeyoon said. He faked a pout not really sure how much it would help his case.

“Until your hand is better,” Youngbin said easily. He owed Jaeyoon that much.

“I can live with that,” Jaeyoon said quietly. He snuggled closer to Youngbin and sighed happily. Maybe fracturing his fingers wasn’t such a bad thing after all. 

“I already have an idea for how to baby you after our date,” Youngbin said with a wink, “and you still haven’t gotten me back for last week like you said you would.”

“Why do I have to wait until after?” Jaeyoon asked with a whine, “besides what fun would it be if you knew when my revenge was coming?”

“Because the food will be done in ten minutes,” Youngbin said, “and this will take much longer than that.”

Jaeyoon huffed. “Fine, fine, but we still have those ten minutes to kill,” he said.

“We do,” Youngbin agreed. He leaned up to kiss Jaeyoon gently.

Jaeyoon hummed and kissed Youngbin back sweetly. He had no need to rush and instead put all of his feeling into the kiss.

Youngbin was happy laying with Jaeyoon like this. He was almost disappointed when the timer on the oven went off and he had to get up to take care of the food.

Jaeyoon pouted when Youngbin pulled away. Slowly he dragged himself off of the couch and followed the older man into the kitchen.

Youngbin set the pan on a potholder and grabbed a serving spoon to dish out the mac and cheese. “Dig in,” he said.

"Thanks for cooking, hyung," Jaeyoon said, a bite of mac and cheese already halfway to his mouth. He hummed happily as he ate; he really was so lucky that Youngbin was such an amazing cook.

“Of course,” Youngbin said with a smile. “Eat up then we’ll go to the movies.”

Jaeyoon focused on making sure he didn’t eat too fast but he was excited. He could barely contain himself while they were cleaning up and was absolutely buzzing by the time they were in the car. He hadn’t gone out in ages.

“What movie do you want to see?” Youngbin asked as they walked into the theatre. There were quite a few new movies out.

Jaeyoon eyes scanned the list of movies and his eyes lit up when he saw the last one. “How about the new Conjuring movie? I heard it’s supposed to be pretty scary,” he said. Jaeyoon himself wasn’t particularly bothered by horror movies, but he kinda wanted to see how Youngbin would react.

Youngbin wasn’t a fan of horror movies, and by that, he meant that he hated them. The jump scares always got him, and he would see the terrifying faces for hours after the movie was over. However, he was a fan of Jaeyoon, so he agreed to it.

Jaeyoon smiled widely. “Why don’t you go pick out some snacks for us and I’ll grab the tickets,” he said.

“Popcorn okay?” Youngbin asked as he walked toward the concession stand. He didn’t really wait for an answer. It’d all get eaten before the movie started anyway.

Jaeyoon stepped up to the counter to buy their tickets. After, he sauntered up behind Youngbin and snagged a piece of popcorn from the bucket and popped it into his mouth.

Youngbin and Jaeyoon found seats right in the middle of the theatre, which Youngbin dreaded a little. He had a perfect view, which meant no way of escaping the movie.

Jaeyoon could tell Youngbin was nervous so he slid his arm around the older man and pulled him close. “Don’t worry, hyung, I’ll protect you,” he said soothingly.

It’s just two hours, Youngbin told himself, just get through two hours then go home to have some questionable fun with Jaeyoon. As long as he thought of the reward, he would be fine.

Jaeyoon tightened his arm around Youngbin. He felt bad; he could tell the older man wasn’t enjoying himself.

Youngbin laid his head on Jaeyoon’s shoulder. Maybe he could doze off during the previews and get through the movie by being half asleep. Unlikely, but possible. Or...maybe there was another distraction.

Jaeyoon tilted his head so he could kiss the top of Youngbin’s head gently. His arm slowly rubbed up and down the older man’s arm, trying to keep him calm.

Youngbin bit his lip and rested his hand onto Jaeyoon’s thigh. This would be the perfect way to distract himself, and get his boyfriend riled up.

Jaeyoon sighed when Youngbin laid his hand on his thigh. Not soon after the lights dimmed and the movie started. He settled more comfortably in his chair and turned his focus to the screen.

As the movie started to pick up, Youngbin slowly moved his hand up Jaeyoon’s thigh, trying not to jump too much. He stopped when he hit the end of the inseam.

Jaeyoon sucked in a breath as Youngbin’s hand slowly slid up his thigh. He laid his free hand over the elder’s, holding it in place so he couldn’t slide it any further.

Youngbin bit his lip, smiling to himself. A sudden jump scare came on screen and he flinched, curling toward Jaeyoon. With luck, his mouth landed near the younger man’s ear.

“Don’t do it,” Jaeyoon whispered warningly when Youngbin pressed closer. He knew the older man had some trick up his sleeve and he wasn’t looking forward to it.

“Oh, I won’t do anything here,” Youngbin whispered, “I’m a voyeur, not an exhibitionist.” As he said it, his fingers danced over Jaeyoon’s crotch.

Jaeyoon whined quietly. He hated being teased and he hated it even more now that they were in public and there was really nothing he could do about it.

“But imagine if I could,” Youngbin murmured, “if I sucked you off in front of all these people?”

Jaeyoon squeezed his eyes shut desperately trying to push the idea from his mind. He leaned his head back in the chair and bit his lip harshly to keep himself quiet.

“I bet you couldn’t keep quiet,” Youngbin continued, “you’re too responsive for that.”

“Stop it,” Jaeyoon growled. The worst part about this all was that Youngbin wasn’t even wrong.

“Make me,” Youngbin challenged, knowing Jaeyoon wouldn’t. Not in public at least.

Jaeyoon huffed in annoyance and picked his head back up. There was nothing he could do to stop Youngbin so he decided to at least enjoy the rest of the movie.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut warning
> 
> Sorry it's late! It totally slipped my mind to post yesterday.

Youngbin smirked to himself. Knowing that Jaeyoon was going to ignore him, he simply entertained himself massaging the younger man’s thigh.

Try as he might, Jaeyoon couldn’t pay attention to the movie. However there was absolutely no way he was going to acknowledge Youngbin, so he sat there quietly. A small piece of him hoped the older man would give it up but he knew he wouldn’t be so lucky. 

Youngbin actually managed to keep himself distracted for the majority of the rest of the movie, although he didn’t say anything else or touch Jaeyoon’s crotch again. He’d found a huge knot in Jaeyoon’s thigh and was focused on actually working it out.

Surprisingly, Jaeyoon was almost a bit disappointed when the movie ended; Youngbin’s fingers on his thigh had felt incredible. Once the lights came back on, Jaeyoon dragged himself to his feet and stretched, all while keeping a wary eye on Youngbin.

Youngbin smiled at Jaeyoon innocently as they left the theatre. “How about we stop for dessert on the way home?” he suggested.

“We could always have dessert at home,” Jaeyoon countered. He knew Youngbin was trying to stall and it was wearing on his patience. 

“You raise an excellent point,” he said. He was driving, so he could theoretically stop if he wanted to, but his balls would probably kill him if Jaeyoon didn’t first.

Jaeyoon heaved a sigh of relief when Youngbin didn’t try to stop anywhere. Finally they got back to the apartments. Jaeyoon didn’t let Youngbin take more than two steps into his apartment before he pinned the older man against the wall. “You are the worst tease I have ever met,” he growled.

Youngbin grinned. “I’ll take that as a compliment,” he said sassily. He knew there was going to be hell to pay and he was honestly hoping for it.

Jaeyoon growled again before kissing Youngbin roughly. Not giving the older man any time to think, he hand immediately slipped his hand to his crotch to palm him.

Youngbin gasped at the sudden contact and pushed his hips into Jaeyoon’s hand. He’d been waiting for this all night.

Jaeyoon smirked and immediately pulled his hand away. He wanted Youngbin to know what it felt like to be teased.

Youngbin whined and pouted when Jaeyoon pulled his hand away. “You’re no fun,” he said.

“You sure about that?” he teased. He pushed his hips against Youngbin’s pinning him to the wall. His lips slowly nipped down the older man’s jaw, crawling towards the sensitive part of his throat.

“That’s better,” Youngbin groaned as Jaeyoon’s teeth nipped at his neck. “Would be best in your bed.”

“You aren’t calling the shots right now,” Jaeyoon said lowly. He continued to nip at Youngbin’s neck, but still didn’t sink his teeth in yet. He rolled his hips slowly before promptly pulling them back. 

Youngbin whined again when Jaeyoon pulled away. It was ridiculous how a few simple movements had made him so weak.

Jaeyoon smirked and pulled his lips from Youngbin’s neck as well. Ignoring the pain in his fingers, he worked on getting the older man’s shirt off. 

Youngbin batted Jaeyoon’s injured hand away and worked on removing his shirt himself. Why did he choose something with so many buttons?

Since Jaeyoon couldn’t help him remove his shirt he decided to work on Youngbin’s pants. He undid the button and zipper before immediately slipping his hand between the pants and the material of the elder’s boxers.

Youngbin tossed his shirt to the side. He kissed Jaeyoon again, desperate for some contact he could control.

Jaeyoon didn’t mind letting Youngbin control the kiss. It would make taking the control back that much more worth it. He pushed more insistently on Youngbin’s crotch, hoping to distract him a little.

Youngbin groaned, letting his mouth fall open as his focus slipped. That was fine. He wasn’t in the right place to be in charge anyway.

Jaeyoon took full advantage and immediately pushed his tongue into Youngbin’s mouth, dominating the kiss. He pulled his hand away and let it lay teasingly low on the elder’s waist.

Youngbin was totally fine being manhandled. He could do without the teasing though. With a soft moan, he pushed closer to Jaeyoon.

Jaeyoon chuckled. “A little eager now are we?” he asked when he pulled away. Deciding to milk the injury card a little bit, he took a step back from the elder. “Help me get my shirt off,” he said.

Youngbin was much too eager to derobe Jaeyoon. He all but yanked the younger man’s shirt off and started on his pants as well.

Jaeyoon quickly grabbed Youngbin’s hands to stop him. “Not out here,” he said. He didn’t particularly care when he got undressed, but he just wanted to drag everything out for as long as possible. Slowly he guided Youngbin down the hall to his bedroom.

Youngbin was annoyed that he couldn’t get Jaeyoon naked yet, but he was glad they were at least finally going to the bedroom. Jaeyoon had left him hanging for over a week now and he was all too excited to see what the younger man had up his sleeve.

Once Jaeyoon had shut the door, he turned back to Youngbin. “So what’s this grand plan to baby me that you said I had to wait for?” he asked with crossed arms and a raised eyebrow.

Youngbin smirked and pushed Jaeyoon into the bed. “You just lay there and look pretty,” he said sweetly, “let me take care of you.”

Jaeyoon hummed. “That I can do,” he said quietly. He didn’t entirely trust Youngbin but his curiosity was getting the better of him.

Youngbin fully stripped himself down, cheeks reddening a bit as he realized just how naked he really was. “Where do you keep your lube?” he asked. There would be no stalling this time.

“Top drawer of my nightstand in the back,” Jaeyoon answered immediately. His eyes raked over Youngbin’s naked form and he hummed appreciatively. He quickly shimmied out of his own pants and kicked them somewhere onto the floor.

Youngbin rummaged through the drawer until he found what he was looking for. “Should we bother with a condom or no?” he asked, holding one up.

“Up to you, but I don’t think we need one,” Jaeyoon said. Considering they hadn’t used them in the past, he didn’t think it was necessary, but he wanted to do whatever Youngbin was comfortable with.

Youngbin dropped the packet back into the drawer and closed it. They hadn’t used them so far; there was no point in starting now. He got on the bed and settled himself between Jaeyoon’s thighs instead.

Jaeyoon didn’t think Youngbin would tease him too much tonight, which was nice. He settled himself on the bed more comfortably and looked at the older man fondly.

Youngbin bit his lip nervously. He wasn’t so sure about this now. It was going to be so embarrassing. Maybe he should just let Jaeyoon do it instead…

Jaeyoon frowned slightly when he saw Youngbin’s expression. “You don’t have to do this; it’s okay,” he said gently, “I won’t be upset. He sat up on his elbows to get a better look at Youngbin.

“I want to,” Youngbin said quickly, “I’m just a little...anxious.” Not about the sex but about the foreplay. He had never really put on a show of any sort before and he didn’t want to do a bad job.

“It’s okay, hyung,” Jaeyoon whispered, he reached out a hand to gently comb it through Youngbin’s hair. He smiled softly, Youngbin really was so adorable.

Youngbin took a deep breath and decided to push on with it, embarrassment be damned. He carefully turned around so he wouldn’t have to look at Jaeyoon and put some lube on his hand before carefully reaching back and pressing a finger to his entrance.

Jaeyoon bit his lip. This wasn’t at all what he was expecting Youngbin to do. With a breathy sigh, he repositioned himself on his elbows so he was more comfortable.

Youngbin let out a shaky breath as he pushed a finger in. He had obviously done this before but not for another person. He hadn’t been lying when he said he wasn’t an exhibitionist.

Jaeyoon hummed and watched Youngbin closely. “I want to see your face” he murmured, “but only if you’re comfortable.”

“I can’t reach as well the other way,” Youngbin said quietly. He had small hands and short fingers and it was hard enough reaching in his position now.

Jaeyoon was fully ready to offer his help, but he bided his time. He wanted to see just how far Youngbin would take this before he cracked.

Youngbin spread his legs slightly and tossed his head back as he slid a second finger in. It felt so good but not nearly good enough.

Jaeyoon growled quietly. He wanted to be the one to make Youngbin feel good, but this could also be a good test of both of their patience.

Youngbin fingered himself open as best as he could with the difficult angle. He wanted to show off, to impress Jaeyoon, so he curved his back in a little, sticking out his ass.

Jaeyoon hummed appreciatively and pushed himself up further. Smirking slightly, he reached out and gently scratched his nails down Youngbin’s back. “Hyung,” he said lowly, “are you  _ sure _ you don’t want some help?”

A hard shudder ran through Youngbin’s body. “No,” he said stubbornly, “this is about you r-relaxing.”

Jaeyoon chuckled and scooted a little closer so he could press a gentle kiss to the back of Youngbin’s neck. He leaned back on his elbows again and watched Youngbin closely.

Youngbin groaned as he pushed a third finger into himself. He knew he would be having a much easier time if they were at his apartment, but Jaeyoon was worth the extra work.

Jaeyoon moaned quietly, but stopped himself from moving. He was more turned on by Youngbin’s little show than he anticipated but he was trying to control himself.

Youngbin couldn’t reach as well as he wanted, but he knew that meant he would be in for a delicious sting. “Okay,” he panted, “I’m ready.”

Jaeyoon pushed himself up again. “I’m not,” he said teasingly, “care to help your boyfriend out a little?”

Youngbin painstakingly turned around to face Jaeyoon. He leaned over to kiss the younger man gently before grabbing the lube again.

Jaeyoon smiled into the kiss. His fingers of his good hand automatically curled themselves around the sheets below him.

Youngbin poured some lube in his hand and stroked Jaeyoon’s cock slowly. “Ready?” He asked quietly.

Jaeyoon moaned quietly. He tilted his head and looked at Youngbin. Although now would be the perfect time to enact his revenge, he was much too impatient. “I am,” he said with a hum.

Holding Jaeyoon’s cock still, Youngbin slowly sank down with a soft moan. This angle was perfect and the burn was incredible.

Jaeyoon moaned when Youngbin slowly sat down. He couldn’t help the small smirk that played at his lips. He had a lot more control from this position than Youngbin probably anticipated.

Youngbin took a shuddery breath and started to slowly roll his hips. He let out a soft whimper as the head of Jaeyoon’s cock dragged over his prostate.

Jaeyoon groaned loudly when Youngbin rolled his hips. “God, you’re so beautiful,” he murmured.

Youngbin felt heat rise to his face. He couldn’t think of a time that he’d ever been called beautiful before. Carefully, he lifted himself up and slid back down, starting to fuck himself on Jaeyoon’s cock.

Jaeyoon moaned loudly and tipped his head back. “Y-you feel so good, hyung,” he stuttered between heavy breaths. Judging by the flush that had spread across Youngbin’s cheeks, the older man was very receptive to compliments and Jaeyoon was not opposed to testing his theory.

Youngbin started to move faster, effectively bouncing in Jaeyoon’s lap. He bit his lip to keep from being too loud.

“Why so quiet, hm?” Jaeyoon asked when he saw Youngbin biting his lip, “I want to hear those beautiful noises I know you’re capable of.” He had to fight to keep his voice from shaking. 

“You do have o-other neighbors,” Youngbin stuttered as his head dropped forward. He hadn’t ever been a particularly loud person during sex anyway.

Jaeyoon chuckled. “I’m not worried about my other neighbors. Come on don’t go shy on me now,” he teased.

Youngbin let his mouth drop open. A small whimper fell from his lips every time Jaeyoon’s cock dragged over his prostate.

“Mhm, that’s better,” Jaeyoon praised, “you know I could get used to this; you look so good riding my cock. Does it feel good, baby?”

Youngbin whined and nodded quickly. “I’m r-really close,” he stuttered. Jaeyoon’s cock had been pressed to his prostate almost constantly and it was really taking a toll on him

Jaeyoon reached up to grab Youngbin’s waist, steadying the older man. “Wait for me,” he ordered gently.

Youngbin whined in protest, but he did his best. It was hard to not cum with Jaeyoon’s cock fitting so perfectly inside him, but he managed to hold on.

Jaeyoon was so close. Youngbin felt so perfect and he really didn’t know how he lasted this long. The older man bounced a few more times and sent him tumbling over the edge with a loud moan. His grip on Youngbin’s waist tightened as he finally came.

Youngbin’s legs tightened around Jaeyoon’s waist when he felt the younger man cum inside him. A few thrusts later, he was joining him with a moan.

Jaeyoon moaned quietly when Youngbin tightened his legs. Panting heavily he let his hands slide up and down Youngbin’s side, gently guiding the older man to lean forward to lay on his chest.

Youngbin panted as he laid on Jaeyoon’s chest. He whimpered when the younger man’s cock slid out of him. He felt so empty now.

Jaeyoon wrapped his arms around Youngbin and held the older man close. “You’re so perfect,” he murmured.

Youngbin whined. “Don’t say that,” he mumbled. Beautiful was one thing, but perfect was too much. Youngbin was far from.

Jaeyoon chuckled and pressed a gentle kiss to Youngbin’s temple. “You better get used to it because it’s true and I’m not going to stop saying it,” he whispered.

Youngbin felt himself pouting slightly as he looked up at Jaeyoon. If anyone was perfect, it was the younger man, not himself.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Jaeyoon said, still chuckling. He kissed the tip of Youngbin’s nose gently. “How did I get so lucky?” he breathed as he stared down at the older man.

“Nuh uh, I’m the lucky one,” Youngbin said, shaking his head slightly. “Luck doesn’t give you a broken hand.”

“We’re both lucky,” Jaeyoon amended, “and I’d take a broken hand over losing you any day.” And he absolutely meant it.

Youngbin smiled happily. “Such a sap,” he teased.

Jaeyoon smiled widely. “That I am,” he admitted, “do you want to wash up now or wait a little bit longer?”

“I could go for a bath,” Youngbin suggested, propping himself up on his elbows. That way they wouldn’t have to bag up Jaeyoon’s arm either.

“Alright, I’ll go draw one,” Jaeyoon said, pushing himself up as well. He stole a quick kiss from Youngbin before sliding the older man off of his lap so he could stand up from the bed.

Youngbin hummed to himself as he got up and went over to Jaeyoon’s closet. He opened the door and rummaged through, looking for clean clothes for them both. He reached up on the shelf to try and find sweatpants and accidentally knocked over some papers. Bending down, he picked them up and frowned when he realized what they were. “Hey, Jaeyoon-ah,” he asked as he stepped into the bathroom, “who is this?”

Jaeyoon looked up and froze when he saw the pictures that Youngbin was holding. The older man must have gone through his closet looking for clothes. “Oh that’s my niece,” he lied. He couldn’t afford to tell Youngbin the truth and he hoped the older man dropped it.

“You and your sister? Brother? You must look absolutely identical,” Youngbin said, looking at the picture fondly, “she’s a spitting image of you.”

Jaeyoon dropped his eyes to the filling tub. “Yeah, we joke about that a lot,” he said, clearing his throat. He didn’t have any siblings so he tried to stay as cryptic as possible, but Youngbin didn’t need to know that either.

“She’s cute,” Youngbin said, turning around to put the pictures back where he had accidentally found them. When he returned to the bathroom with the clothes, he wrapped himself around Jaeyoon’s back. “You’re too stiff for someone who just had great sex.”

“Yeah she is,” Jaeyoon whispered sadly when Youngbin stepped out of the room. He kept his eyes on the tub and nearly jumped when the older man wrapped himself around his back. Jaeyoon shook his head and rolled his shoulders. “This bath will loosen me right up,” he whispered.

“You seem like you’re a good uncle,” Youngbin said with a fond smile. He could almost picture Jaeyoon running around with the little girl from those photos.

“I try, but I don’t really get to see her that often,” he said slowly. To be honest, Jaeyoon didn’t ever get to see her. On top of that, she didn’t even know who he was. With a sad sigh, he shut the tap off and untangled himself from Youngbin’s arms. Slowly he climbed down and got comfortable before opening his arms for Youngbin.

Youngbin carefully stepped into the tub and settled down with his back against Jaeyoon’s chest. “Ah, Uncle Jaeyoon, so cute,” he cooed.

Jaeyoon’s chest tightened and he was glad Youngbin couldn’t see his face twist into a frown. He was starting to panic; Youngbin obviously wasn’t going to let this go and that meant he was only going to dig himself a larger and larger hole and who knows if he would ever get out.

Youngbin hummed happily and sunk up to his neck in the water. It felt so relaxing after how tense he had been recently. “Make sure your cast stays out of the water,” he said, suppressing a yawn.

“I will,” Jaeyoon said, resting his hand on the edge of the tub. He sighed softly, grateful for the subject change. Jaeyoon chuckled when he caught Youngbin yawn. “All worn out from your little escapade?” he teased.

“A little,” Youngbin said, “it is getting pretty late.” He and Jaeyoon tended to really lose track of time when they were together. “So how are you feeling about going back to work on Monday?”

Jaeyoon chuckled dryly. “Oh absolutely thrilled,” he said flatly, “I know Juho’s gonna make my life hell, but I have no idea how.”

“You know what would make him really pissed off?” Youngbin whispered conspiratorially.

“What?” Jaeyoon asked slowly. He didn’t trust Youngbin’s tone one bit.

“If I just happened to show up for lunch,” Youngbin said with a coy smile, “the sappiest fucking lunch he’s ever been forced to watch.”

Jaeyoon sighed. “I don’t really like the idea of you being around him, but how can I stop you if I don’t know you’re coming,” he said. 

“Exactly!” Youngbin said with a coy smile, “plus I wanna see how deformed his face is.”

Jaeyoon rolled his eyes fondly. “I hate to rain on your parade, but it’s not as bad as you're hoping for,” he said carefully.

“Maybe a nice big bruise showed up while you’ve been gone,” Youngbin said optimistically.

“I would hope so. There’s no way I broke two fingers for nothing,” Jaeyoon snarked, “the more I think about it, the more I like this lunch idea.” He tightened his arm around Youngbin. 

“Let’s do it then,” Youngbin said with a happy smile. He hated that he automatically compared his relationship with Jaeyoon to his relationship with Juho, but he couldn’t help it. This was just much...better. Juho had never wanted to show him off and wouldn’t even take him to a work party unless Youngbin begged him to. It was plain to see now why they so easily fell apart.

Jaeyoon tipped his head back to rest against the tile. The wheels in his head were spinning a mile a minute. In any other situation he would be worried about lunch, but he had much bigger problems on his mind than an angry Juho.

Youngbin nearly fell asleep in the warm water, curled up against Jaeyoon’s chest. By the time they got out, he was wrinkly everywhere and ready for bed.

Jaeyoon got them both dressed and tucked into bed. He held Youngbin securely in his arms, but even the older man’s warmth couldn’t help him fall asleep. Luckily the rest of the week went without incidence and unfortunately Monday rolled around sooner than expected and Jaeyoon kept his head down as he walked to his desk.

Juho barely glanced over when Jaeyoon entered the office except to take note of the cast on his hand. Jaeyoon really had come out of this ordeal much worse off.

Jaeyoon scowled when he noticed Juho's barely bruised face. He sat down hard at his desk and began the slow countdown to when Youngbin was coming; that would certainly make this worth it.

“All that for a hit that didn’t even bruise,” Juho mused out loud, “wonder what else you can’t do right.”

Jaeyoon ignored Juho. He knew the younger man had no idea about his latest problem, but it almost felt like he did. He curled his fists together, but that didn’t stop his hands from shaking. It was bad enough that he was suspended, he couldn’t afford to do anything else or he’d be fired.

“I’d almost congratulate you on getting someone to date your ugly ass, but it’s Youngbin so that’s not really a compliment,” Juho said, not even bothering to look up. The woman at the desk next to his rolled her eyes and popped in headphones.

Jaeyoon really was trying to keep it together but Juho was making it so difficult. The digs at himself didn’t bother him, but he took personal offense to the ones about Youngbin. “How the fuck did you trick Seokwoo into dealing with you more than a few hours a day? Oh wait, you don’t pay him do you?” he snapped.

“Are you implying that I had to pay Youngbin? That he would let himself be whored out like that? Oh, that’s rich,” Juho said with a snort, “and for the record, Seokwoo likes me because he’s not a brainless idiot.”

“Unfortunately for you, neither am I,” Jaeyoon said as he stood up from his desk. He certainly couldn’t beat Juho at his game so why not make his own. Confidently he strode to his boss’ office.

“Hey, why don’t you just lay off?” Seokwoo suggested from the other side of Juho, “I don’t get why you care so much about what Youngbin’s doing now anyway.”

Jaeyoon was surprised that Seokwoo seemed as tired of Juho’s bullshit as he was. That didn’t stop him from knocking lightly on his boss’ door and stepping in. “I know I just got back and I shouldn’t be causing any more problems, but I have a few things I need to talk to you about,” he began slowly.

“I’m just looking out for him,” Juho said with a shrug, “Youngbin’s gonna hop to someone else soon and I don’t want him to leave anyone heartbroken.” Seokwoo sighed but shook his head and turned back to his work.

“Jaeyoon-ssi, I highly consider you take a minute and think if this is really worth both of our time,” his boss said. Jaeyoon took a deep breath. “I just wanted to bring it to your attention that Juho and Seokwoo are dating, despite the company’s explicit rule against it. I understand this isn’t a terribly important issue to bring to you, but this was the cause of our... disagreement last week and I thought I should bring it to your attention.”

“It’s almost like you’re still in love with him or something,” Seokwoo mumbled to himself just as their boss stepped out into the room. “Seokwoo, Juho, I need to see you in my office. Now.”

Jaeyoon tried to keep the smug look off of his face when his boss filed back into the office with Juho and Seokwoo behind him. He knew he should have stepped out, but he couldn't resist seeing Juho's reaction first hand.

“I’m highly disappointed in both of you,” the executive said, sitting down in his desk chair again, “this ridiculousness is keeping you from your work and I have half a mind to ship one of you off to the other office and put an end to it. This kind of behavior is not tolerated in this office.”

Jaeyoon bit his lip to stop himself from smirking. How perfect would it be for Juho or Seokwoo to get transferred? That would really put a damper on their relationship. "Sir, with all due respect, neither Seokwoo nor I have caused any problems for this office and I would like you to consider that if you do decide to transfer someone," Juho said.

“Don’t give me that bull, Juho,” the boss said, finally losing his cool, “Jaeyoon may have been the one that lost his cool, but you’re the one that was goading him. Seokwoo has nothing to do with this.”

"Juho, you  _ are _ the problem," Jaeyoon said flatly, "not only have you instigated me to the point of having to face a suspension, of the two of us, you are the one breaking company rules."

“Thank you, Jaeyoon,” the boss said, standing up, “for volunteering to be transferred. I believe there’s a desk down in the marketing department that should work well enough for you.” He wasn’t just going to let Juho and Seokwoo off scot-free either. “And you two are no longer allowed to work on projects together and one of you is to move to the other end of the floor to prevent...distractions. Dismissed.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut, minor D/s dynamics, vibrator

Jaeyoon's mouth nearly dropped open. "I-I don't want to transfer," he said, a little confused, "I understand that this whole situation is incredibly ridiculous, but I'm not the one who violated the company policy. Why am I the one being punished for this?" This was not at all what was supposed to happen and Jaeyoon was less than thrilled.

“You’re the one that escalated to violence and the one that keeps making it an issue.  _ Dismissed _ .” The boss turned away from the trio, effectively ending the conversation.

Jaeyoon clamped his mouth shut and stormed out of his boss' office. He sat down hard at his desk and pulled his phone out of his briefcase so he could text Youngbin. "Hey babe I'm really sorry, but we can't do lunch today. I'll explain everything when I get home." Jaeyoon's hands were shaking as he finally pressed the send button.

Juho smirked as he sauntered back to his desk. “Short end of the stick again,” he said loudly, “guess that’s what happens when you try to mess with other people. Have fun downstairs, Jaeyoon-ah.”

Jaeyoon held his tongue. What more was there to say anyway? At least this way he would be away from Juho and he could finally put all of this behind him once and for all. With a quiet sigh, he slowly began cleaning up the few things he kept on his desk.

Youngbin frowned when he received Jaeyoon’s message. He wondered what could have possibly happened to make the younger man cancel their plans. Did Juho say something?

Jaeyoon spent the rest of his day finishing his work and packing up his desk. He had never spent more time in one day staring at the clock than he did today. All he wanted to do was get home to Youngbin and what felt like hours later he was finally letting himself into the older man’s apartment. He didn’t even bother to go to his own to get changed.

Youngbin heard the door open from where he was folding laundry in his bedroom. “Jaeyoon-ah?” He called, “what happened at work?”

Jaeyoon dropped his briefcase by the door and slipped his shoes and jacket off. Tossing everything to the side he made his way to the bedroom and wrapped himself around Youngbin’s back. “I got fucking transferred,” he mumbled.

“What?” Youngbin said, turning around in Jaeyoon’s arms, “over what?” He couldn’t imagine what could have possibly caused him to be transferred.

Jaeyoon buried his head in Youngbin’s neck and tightened his grip. “This whole bullshit with Juho,” he said, voice muffled, “I told my boss that they were dating because that violates company policy and he fucking transferred me. I’m just so frustrated.”

Youngbin sighed. “I’m sorry, baby,” he said, kissing Jaeyoon’s cheek. He wished Juho could just leave them alone.

Jaeyoon sighed sadly. "It's okay. I won't have to deal with him anymore so that's one positive. Besides a little change in scenery never hurt anyone," he said. He was trying to stay positive, but he was so infuriated.

“Did they at least get punished for going against company policy?” Youngbin asked. He hoped Juho hadn’t gotten off with nothing, considering how much he had been harassing them.

Jaeyoon scoffed. "They can't work on projects together anymore and Juho got moved across the floor. They barely got a slap on the wrist, meanwhile I have to move to an entirely new department," he replied angrily. 

“What? That’s ridiculous!” Youngbin exclaimed. He wanted to march into Jaeyoon’s boss’ office and tell the man right off.

"I know, but what else can I do? If I try to say something again I'm sure I'll be fired and I can't exactly afford for that to happen," Jaeyoon mumbled. He nuzzled further into Youngbin's neck; he really just wanted to take a hot shower and forget about everything that had happened.

Youngbin hummed. “Let me finish folding this and then I bet I can find a way to relax you.”

Jaeyoon hid his smile in Youngbin's neck before regretfully pulling away. "I bet you can," he mused. He loosened his tie and left the room briefly to toss it on top of his jacket and shoes.

Youngbin sighed and turned back around to finish his laundry. He put it all away then went to find Jaeyoon.

"I'm sorry we couldn't do lunch today," Jaeyoon apologized, hanging his head. He was so angry about the transfer that he had almost completely forgotten to apologize for ruining their plans.

“It’s okay,” Youngbin said with a soft smile, “you had too much going on today. I’ll take you out some other time.”

Jaeyoon sighed softly and walked across the room towards Youngbin. "Thanks, hyung," he whispered.

Youngbin hugged Jaeyoon around the middle. He liked just spending these quiet moments with his boyfriend. “C’mon, let’s take a shower.”

Jaeyoon nodded and hugged Youngbin back for a moment before wordlessly taking the elder's hand in his own. He only let go when they got into the bathroom. Slowly, he started to unbutton his shirt, hands still shaking from anger.

Youngbin lowered Jaeyoon’s shaky hands and unbuttoned the younger man’s shirt himself. “You know, I know a way you could work out all this anger,” he said coyly.

“Oh? Well do tell,” he teased. He let his hands drop to Youngbin’s pants and teased his fingers along the waistband.

“I happen to know someone who is not at all opposed to being the subject of other’s...frustrations,” Youngbin said, biting his lip as he undid the last button on Jaeyoon’s shirt.

Jaeyoon looked down at Youngbin, slightly confused. “Yeah and how well did that all go last time,” he said flatly. 

“Ugh, forget it,” Youngbin said, pouting. Jaeyoon was too focused on what had happened with Juho.

Jaeyoon stared at Youngbin wide-eyed. Slowly the wheels in his head started to turn and he realized what Youngbin meant. He knew apologizing wouldn’t fix anything, but he could at least try a little teasing. “Fine,” he said, sliding his shirt off his shoulders and unbuttoning his slacks, “I can take care of it myself.”

“Mhm, you do that,” Youngbin said, turning around to take off his own clothes. He felt embarrassed that he had even tried to suggest something like that.

Jaeyoon didn’t think Youngbin would give up easily. Shrugging it off, he pushed his pants and boxers to his ankles before stepping out of them. He let the water heat up for a minute and took one last look over his shoulder before stepping in. Maybe he could have a little fun with Youngbin yet.

Youngbin set his clothes to the side and stepped into the shower with Jaeyoon. “Want me to wash your hair?”

“Sure,” Jaeyoon said slowly. He stepped a little bit closer to Youngbin and wrapped his arms around the older man. Sure being so clingy might make his job a little harder, but Jaeyoon wasn’t concerned with that right now.

Youngbin reached around Jaeyoon and grabbed the shampoo. “You’re gonna drip shampoo on me from this close,” he said.

Jaeyoon just hummed and pressed closer. He kept his arms wrapped tightly around Youngbin, not letting the older man pull away.

Youngbin sighed and crossed his arms. “Jaeyoon-ah, you’re making this unnecessarily difficult.”

“I just want to be close to you,” he said innocently, “besides aren’t you used to dealing with freshmen? This can’t be anywhere near as annoying.”

Youngbin sighed and put the bottle back on the shelf. “If you don’t want me to do anything, you can just say so. I was just trying to help.”

“That’s not it,” Jaeyoon said, rolling his eyes fondly, “that just isn’t quite what I need help with.” He bit his lip and peered down at Youngbin from behind wet bangs.

“What do you need help with then?” Youngbin asked, looking up at Jaeyoon.

For a split second, Jaeyoon thought about teasing Youngbin, but he quickly changed his mind. “Well this shower isn’t quite as relaxing as I hoped it was gonna be. I’m still pretty... frustrated about today,” he said. He tilted his head, and watched Youngbin curiously.

Youngbin cocked an eyebrow at Jaeyoon. He was pretty sure he had already suggested what the younger man was alluding to.

Jaeyoon rolled his eyes again. “Oh come here,” he said, tightening his grip on Youngbin. He pulled the older man closer so he could kiss him square on the lips.

Youngbin gasped in surprise when Jaeyoon suddenly kissed him, but quickly relaxed. He melted into his boyfriend and kissed him back.

Jaeyoon hummed into the kiss and carefully walked Youngbin backwards until he hit the wall. His arms unwrapped from around his back and rested on the older man’s waist instead.

Youngbin grunted as his back hit the shower wall and yelped as a bottle fell off the shelf and onto his foot. “Maybe not in here?” he suggested weakly.

Jaeyoon stepped back and slowly bent over to scoop up the shampoo bottle. “Sorry, hyung,” he mumbled sheepishly.

Youngbin couldn’t help but laugh. The entire situation was just so ridiculous. “C’mon, let’s dry off so you can finish telling me how you’re gonna work out your frustration,” he said, teasing a little.

Jaeyoon reached behind himself to shut the water off. So much for a steamy shower. Pouting slightly, he stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist before grabbing one for Youngbin.

Youngbin took the towel gratefully and quickly dried himself off. Once he was dry, he took Jaeyoon by the hand and all but dragged him into the bedroom.

“You’re almost more excited about this than I am,” Jaeyoon commented. He let himself be dragged down the hallway regardless and quickly shut the door behind them.

“I’m always excited to get you naked,” Youngbin said slyly. The falling bottle had actually loosened him up a bit and he felt more relaxed about this now.

Jaeyoon chuckled quietly. “Well this towel isn’t gonna unwrap itself from my waist,” he said coyly. He wondered just how much else Youngbin would be willing to do for him.

Youngbin rolled his eyes fondly as he stepped forward and all but yanked the towel off of Jaeyoon’s waist. He bit his lip as he took in his boyfriend’s full form.

“A little forceful I see,” Jaeyoon said, taking a step closer, “does that mean I’m in for a rough night?” He was practically buzzing with excitement. They hadn’t done anything too adventurous yet and tonight would be the perfect night to finally try something.

“Jaeyoon, babe,” Youngbin explained as gently as he could, “You’re the one that has frustrations to take out. You’re not getting the rough night, I am.”

Jaeyoon stared at Youngbin for a moment. “No, no, I’m not gonna do that,” he said slowly. There was no way he could take his frustrations out about Juho on Youngbin, that didn’t sit well with him. 

“Would it change your mind if I said I wanted you to?” Youngbin asked quietly. He couldn’t quite bring himself to look at Jaeyoon. It was too embarrassing to admit he was into things like this.

Jaeyoon’s eyes widened. “It would,” he admitted slowly, “I just don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t,” Youngbin said confidently, but that confidence dropped as he finished his sentence, “and if you did, I might...like...that.”

Jaeyoon smirked and stared down at Youngbin. “Boy, hyung, you sure are full of surprises,” he said. He wasted no more time after that. Grabbing Youngbin’s cheeks with both hands, he kissed the elder deeply. Although he was a little bit nervous about this whole idea, he had to admit he was a little turned on.

Youngbin looped his arms around Jaeyoon’s neck, pulling him down slightly to deepen the kiss. He let his mouth fall open with a soft moan.

Jaeyoon pushed his tongue into Youngbin’s mouth, dominating the kiss. As content as he was, he knew they would be a lot more comfortable on the bed. Carefully he guided the elder back a few steps.

Youngbin let himself fall backwards when his calves hit the bed, pulling Jaeyoon with him. He wondered what the younger man had in store for him.

Jaeyoon let himself be pulled on top of Youngbin. After a few more moments, he pulled back, panting slightly. “It’s a good thing you’re not going back to your students for a few days. I’d hate for them to see you all marked up on your first day back,” he growled. Leaning down, he nipped down Youngbin’s neck and passed his collar bone so he could sink his teeth into the soft skin of his chest.

Youngbin gasped and moaned softly when Jaeyoon’s teeth sunk into his skin. “Shame you won’t get to show your marks off in front of Juho anymore,” he countered.

Jaeyoon hummed. “I’m sure my new coworkers would get a kick out of me walking into my first day with my neck bruised, but you’re going to have to earn that privilege tonight,” he said.

Youngbin hummed and smiled. That he could do. In fact, he considered himself particularly good at that.

Jaeyoon took his sweet time sucking a few marks into Youngbin’s chest. When he grew bored of that he slowly kissed his way over to a hardened nipple and gently took it between his teeth.

Youngbin inhaled sharply when Jaeyoon teeth landed on his nipple. His chest was one of the more sensitive parts of his body, and his nipples even moreso. He could feel both his nipples and his cock hardening.

Jaeyoon smirked. “You’re so responsive,” he murmured. Carefully he rolled the hardened bud between his teeth before sucking gently. One hand came up to tweak Youngbin’s other nipple, while the other held his hip down.

Youngbin couldn’t help but press his chest up into Jaeyoon’s mouth. The stimulation felt really good and this was only the beginning.

Jaeyoon hated to be mean but the minute he felt Youngbin’s chest push into his mouth he pulled away and dropped his hand. “Did that feel good, baby?” he asked slowly. He wondered how many more buttons he could press before Youngbin cracked.

Youngbin whined when Jaeyoon pulled away and nodded. He loved his nipples being played with, but he had asked to be messed with and damn was it worth it.

Jaeyoon chuckled. “I know you have more dirty little secrets so let’s see how many I can find. I’m gonna need a little help, but I’m sure you have some things lying around here I could borrow,” he purred.

Youngbin groaned. He did indeed have some things lying around and the idea of Jaeyoon using them on him was intoxicating. “There’s a shoebox in the back of my closet,” he mumbled, licking his lips subconsciously.

Jaeyoon smiled widely and pushed himself off of Youngbin. It didn’t take long for him to find the shoebox and he carried it back to the bed and dumped the contents out. He hummed happily and quickly headed into the bathroom to rummage around for lube before walking back over to the bed. “Which one is your favorite?” he asked, eyeing the toys in front of him.

Youngbin himself would admit that he hadn’t used any of these in a while. He only really used them when masturbating and it had been quite a while since he had done that. “I don’t really have a favorite,” he said slowly, sitting up on his elbows.

Jaeyoon hummed thoughtfully. He let his fingers dance over the toys before selecting a small vibrator from the middle of the pile. He tossed it to the side before quickly shoveling everything back into the shoebox and moving it out of the way. Moving slowly he crawled back on top of Youngbin, biding his time. 

Youngbin’s eyes followed the toy that Jaeyoon tossed aside, but he was quickly distracted by the man himself. His hand came up to rest on Jaeyoon’s chest, absently sliding over his nipple.

“You’re going to get it a lot worse if you don’t learn to keep your hands to yourself,” Jaeyoon growled lowly. He took Youngbin’s wandering hand in his own and pinned it above the older man’s head.

Youngbin let Jaeyoon pin his hand where he wanted it. His free hand slid over the younger man’s chest and up to cup his jaw.

Any other day, Jaeyoon would love the feeling of Youngbin’s hands running over his body, but not today. With an angry sigh, he grabbed Youngbin’s wrist and roughly shoved it above his head. “What did I just say?” he asked gruffly. 

Youngbin flexed his hand but didn’t try to pull out of Jaeyoon’s grip. He liked the idea of his boyfriend pinning him down and just having his way with him.

“That’s better,” Jaeyoon said with a hum. He transferred both of Youngbin’s wrists to one of his hands and moved the other to support himself better. Leaning down, he kissed Youngbin gently; almost waiting for the older man to pull his wrists free.

Youngbin let his mouth fall open, practically inviting Jaeyoon to ravish his mouth. He painstakingly pulled his wrists from Jaeyoon’s grasp, but he simply adjusted them to lay more comfortably and left them above his head.

Jaeyoon was pleasantly surprised that Youngbin left his hands above his head. He eagerly deepened the kiss, letting his tongue push into the elder’s mouth. Deciding to test Youngbin, Jaeyoon let his hand slide down his chest to tweak one of his nipples again.

Youngbin groaned as Jaeyoon played with his nipple. His chest was still sensitive from having been abused earlier and he couldn’t help the weak whimper that fell from his lips.

Jaeyoon smirked into the kiss and continued to let his tongue explore Youngbin’s. Deciding to be a little mean he ground his hips down while his free hand absentmindedly searched for the bottle of lube he had grabbed earlier. 

Youngbin had to dig his fingers into the pillow above his head to keep himself from reaching for Jaeyoon. He loved getting his hands all over his boyfriend and it was hard to resist.

Jaeyoon pulled away to catch his breath and smirked when he saw how tightly Youngbin was gripping the pillow. “What’s wrong, baby? Hard to resist, hm?” he teased. He sat himself up so he could slick up his fingers. Tilting his head, he let his eyes roam over Youngbin’s perfect body and hummed appreciatively. Slowly he leaned back down and left his lips centimeters away from Youngbin’s as he pressed a finger to the elder’s entrance.

Youngbin closed the gap between himself and Jaeyoon. He groaned as Jaeyoon’s finger pushed into him. “Hurry up,” he whined.

Jaeyoon chuckled. “Patience is a virtue, my dear,” he said slowly, “but you’ll learn that soon enough.” He forced himself to keep his finger still now and just focused on kissing Youngbin, hoping to tease him a little more.

Youngbin whined and pouted. “Virtues are stupid,” he grumbled, “patience is dumb and I want none of it.”

Jaeyoon couldn’t hold back his laugh. “Aw, I know, baby,” he whispered, kissing down Youngbin’s throat. He carefully pushed in a second finger; it was so hard to not give in to what the elder wanted. 

Youngbin groaned and rolled his hips toward Jaeyoon's fingers. "Fuck, that feels good," he whimpered. 

“And who’s making you feel good, baby?” Jaeyoon asked. His lips rested against Youngbin’s neck, but he didn’t bite into the skin.

"Y-You," Youngbin stuttered. His eyes fluttered closed and he reveled in the feeling of Jaeyoon surrounding him completely.

"That's right," Jaeyoon growled. His own patience was slowly dwindling and he slowly pushed a third finger in. As much as he loved making Youngbin feel good himself, he was excited for how the elder would respond to the toy he had picked.

Youngbin hated not being able to reach up and grip Jaeyoon’s arms to ground himself. Instead, he bent his knees so they framed the younger man’s hips. Something was better than nothing. “I’m r-ready,” he mumbled.

"Oh, but you're not calling the shots tonight, baby," Jaeyoon whispered. He pressed gentle kisses against Youngbin's neck and moved his fingers teasingly slow.

Youngbin whined when Jaeyoon’s fingers slowed their pace. “You  _ infuriate _ me,” he complained, hoping to goad his boyfriend into fucking the life out of him.

Jaeyoon chuckled and dragged his teeth down Youngbin's neck. "Oh, I know," he said. He pulled his fingers out and grabbed the vibrator from where it lay on the bed. After using the excess lube to slick up the toy, he carefully pushed it into Youngbin, but waited to turn it on.

Youngbin had almost forgotten about the vibrator until he felt the cold silicone push into him. “Jaeyoon-ah,” he whined, “c’mon, that’s not fair.”

"All is fair in love and war, babe," Jaeyoon sing-songed. He pulled away from Youngbin's neck so he could see his face as he clicked the vibrator onto its low setting.

Youngbin jerked and gasped when the vibrator suddenly turned on and he struggled to keep his hands still. “Fuck, Jaeyoon-ah,” he whined.

Jaeyoon chuckled. "What's wrong, baby?" he asked. He smirked when he saw Youngbin's hands tightened around the pillow. "If you’re good maybe I'll let you use your hands a little." As fun as it was having Youngbin listen to him, he enjoyed the feeling of the elder's hands on him too much.

Youngbin whimpered. There was something absolutely intoxicating about being easily able to do something and yet being restricted from doing so by his partner. Jaeyoon certainly had him pinned in the perfect spot.

Jaeyoon chuckled again. "You know I love to hear all of those beautiful noises you're capable of," Jaeyoon said lowly. Youngbin had never been particularly loud but he wondered if he could change that. With a cruel smirk he switched the vibrator to its higher setting and let his free hand roam the elder's body until it found his nipple.

Youngbin cried out as the vibrating became more intense. It was a lot, especially considering how aroused he had already been. “J-Jae,” he stuttered.

Jaeyoon groaned loudly and stared down at Youngbin. "What, baby? Come on, use your words and tell me. Does it feel good?" he whispered. His fingers deftly rolled Youngbin's nipple between them. 

"S-So good," Youngbin moaned, squeezing his eyes shut. It was almost overwhelming. "I-I'm gonna cum soon."

“Oh no, baby, not yet. I’m not even close to done yet,” Jaeyoon said. He kept the toy on for another minute before clicking it off.

Youngbin collapsed onto the bed when Jaeyoon pulled the toy away. He had been so close to tipping over the edge, but Jaeyoon had ruined it for him.

“I know something that’ll make you feel much better than a toy,” Jaeyoon said as he pulled out the vibrator. He tossed it to the side and reached for the lube. He slicked himself up and within a few moments had lined himself up. “Are you ready, baby?” he asked. He wanted, no, needed, to hear Youngbin beg for him. 

Youngbin whined, wishing he could touch Jaeyoon like he wanted. "F-Fuck me," he groaned, "pl-please."

Jaeyoon moaned quietly. He carefully pushed in to the hilt and sat there for a moment before rolling his hips. “You feel so good, hyung,” he groaned.

Youngbin couldn't help the moan that fell from his lips. Even after the vibrator, Jaeyoon still felt so big. "M-Move," he begged.

“What happened to your manners?” Jaeyoon asked, feigning seriousness. He kept his hips still, while one of his hands continued to abuse Youngbin’s nipple.

"You f-fucked 'em right out of me," Youngbin mumbled absently. His fingers dug into the pillow even more. He wanted to touch Jaeyoon so badly.

“Oh, I’m sure they’re in there somewhere. Come on, be a good boy and use your manners and I’ll let you use your hands,” Jaeyoon bargained. Sure it seemed like he was just doing this for Youngbin, but he really wanted the elders hands on him. 

Youngbin groaned and shook his head. He would do a lot of things for Jaeyoon, but it would take him a lot of convincing to get Youngbin to beg like that.

Jaeyoon tilted his head and stared at Youngbin. “Oh, you don’t get to just say no to me,” he said flatly. He let go of Youngbin’s nipple and took hold of the elder’s cock. He stroked his hand up and down teasingly slow, still not moving his hips.

Youngbin whined, writhing as the contact became overwhelming. He could do this, he could hold out until Jaeyoon cracked. He just needed to take a deep breath.

" _ Oh,  _ you're stubborn," Jaeyoon commented. He kissed his way down Youngbin's neck and chest, nipping every so often. When he found an unmarked patch of skin he sunk his teeth in and nipped and sucked at the skin methodically, while continuing to stroke his hand up and down.

Youngbin cried out loudly when Jaeyoon bit into his neck. He was so, so close to cracking and begging his boyfriend to fuck him. His pride was the only thing standing in the way.

"Oh there are those beautiful noises," Jaeyoon mused, "all you need to do is ask for what you want and I'll be happy to oblige." He smirked into Youngbin's neck as he gave the elder's cock a gentle squeeze.

Youngbin couldn’t take it anymore. “Pl-Please,” he keened, “please f-fuck me.”

"Was that so hard?" Jaeyoon teased. He let go of Youngbin's cock and picked himself up so he could stare down at the elder. Slowly he rolled his hips, moaning loudly; Youngbin felt so good around him. "Y-You can use your hands now," he relented.

Youngbin immediately brought his arms down to wrap around Jaeyoon’s neck. He buried his face in the younger man’s shoulder and dug his nails into the soft skin. “H-Harder,” he mumbled.

Jaeyoon hissed when he felt Youngbin's nails dig into his skin. He was too far gone to even think about demanding anything further from the elder. With a loud grunt, he eagerly increased his pace.

Youngbin had no inhibitions anymore. He was moaning openly, his voice jumping every time Jaeyoon’s hips slammed into his own. “F-Fuck,” he cried, “You’re s-so fucking good.”

Jaeyoon moaned loudly at the praise and continued to slam his hips into the elder's. He nipped around Youngbin's jawline, edging closer and closer to his lips.

“J-Jaeyoon-ah,” Youngbin moaned suddenly, “I-I’m gonna cum.” He could feel himself teetering on the edge and he knew that it would take only a few more thrusts to send him over.

"Not yet, baby. I'm not there yet," Jaeyoon said. He continued to snap his hips quickly, desperate to reach the edge. Not trusting Youngbin's control, he wrapped his hand around the base of the elder's cock and gripped it tightly, thumb pressing into the vein.

Youngbin practically sobbed as he felt the pressure continuing to build with no way to release. He felt a few tears leak from his eyes down his cheeks. It had been a long time since someone had fucked him this well.

Jaeyoon panicked for a moment when he saw tears leaking from Youngbin's eyes, but he quickly calmed himself down. He kissed the tears away quickly. "I-I'm close, babe," he stuttered out. His hips faltered, but he quickly regained his rhythm. 

Youngbin whimpered, hugging Jaeyoon’s neck even tighter. He knew that the moment the younger man let go of him, he would be cumming hard.

A few more sharp thrusts sent Jaeyoon over the edge and he came with a loud moan. Immediately, he released his hold on Youngbin's cock.

Youngbin back arched off the bed as he came long and hard. He moaned loudly before collapsing, panting heavily. “Holy fuck,” he said weakly.

Jaeyoon kissed Youngbin sweetly before slowly pulling out. "Are you okay?" he whispered nervously as his thumb wiped away a stray tear that was rolling down the elder's cheek.

Youngbin whined softly as Jaeyoon pulled out. He nodded slowly, still trying to catch his breath.

Jaeyoon pressed gently kisses all over Youngbin's face. He held himself up on shaky arms, still panting heavily. "I should come home from work frustrated more often," he mumbled teasingly.

“You should,” Youngbin said tiredly. A soft smile adorned his face and he let his eyes flutter closed. A few more tears clung to his lashes, but he paid them no mind.


	9. Chapter 9

Jaeyoon knew there was no way Youngbin was getting up to shower so he kissed the elder gently and carefully slipped off the bed to go find a washcloth. After he had cleaned himself off, he carried the damp cloth back to the bed and carefully wiped down Youngbin's legs and stomach. Once he threw the washcloth in the pile of dirty laundry he climbed back into bed and pressed against the older man.

Youngbin tucked himself as close to Jaeyoon’s side as he could physically get. While he wasn’t necessarily in a headspace, he did get particularly clingy after sex like that. He didn’t think Jaeyoon would mind though.

Jaeyoon hummed happily and wrapped Youngbin in his arms. He wished everything could be this perfect. And it was. Well, for a couple of weeks at least. Before he knew it, Seoyun’s birthday was a couple of days away and Jaeyoon already knew how hard it would be to see the new pictures of her.

Youngbin had been back at work for about two weeks and he had honestly never been happier. He was glad to be teaching again, although it was disappointing that the kids had barely learned anything in his absence. His relationship with Jaeyoon was going strong as well, although the younger man had seemed a little down these last few days. 

Jaeyoon had thankfully managed to settle into his new desk fairly easily. He didn’t need any other problems now. On top of everything, he was overly anxious about Youngbin finding out and lying was really wearing on his conscience. He could easily brush his behavior off as not feeling well, but he could only get away with hiding in his apartment for a day, if that, so Jaeyoon just tried to act as normal as possible.

Youngbin was proud of his kids. He had them working through a particularly tough chicken recipe and they were doing spectacularly. As much as he loved his job, he couldn’t wait to teach his own kids someday.

The days slowly slipped between Jaeyoon’s fingers and he felt worse and worse as the week went on. Usually Seoyun’s birthday didn’t bother him that much, but the guilt over not telling Youngbin was killing him. When the day finally rolled around, he holed himself up in his apartment under the claim that he wasn’t feeling good and nervously awaited the pictures he knew his friend would send.

Youngbin felt bad that Jaeyoon was spending his weekend sick on the couch. Determined to help his boyfriend feel better, he dragged out an old stock pot and set about making soup.

Jaeyoon was pacing around and jumped when his phone finally went off. He dropped onto the couch and quickly opened the messages. He couldn’t stop the tears from spilling from his eyes as he swiped through picture after picture. Seoyun was already six and Jaeyoon had no idea where the years had gone. One picture of her giggling happily with a small bit of frosting smudged on her nose was too much and Jaeyoon couldn’t stop the sobs that escaped his mouth. He bit his tongue to try and keep himself quiet but it didn’t work. Giving up, Jaeyoon curled himself into a ball on the couch.

Youngbin packaged up some of his soup and made his way over to Jaeyoon’s apartment. The door was unlocked, so he let himself in and frowned when he heard crying. “Baby, what’s wrong?” he asked when he found his boyfriend sobbing on the couch, “what hurts?”

Jaeyoon locked his phone and threw it across the couch when he heard Youngbin. “My head,” he mumbled. That wasn’t even a lie. A headache was beginning to throb behind his temples and his chest ached. He had really fucked everything up and he was on his way to doing the same thing with Youngbin.

Youngbin clicked his tongue as he sat down, abandoning the soup on the coffee table for the time being. He pulled Jaeyoon toward him, letting the younger man pillow his head on his chest. He would get him painkillers in a moment.

Jaeyoon curled into Youngbin and sobbed miserably. “I-I’m so s-sorry, hyung,” he choked out, “I’m o-okay, I promise.” He appreciated Youngbin caring about him, he really did, but it was too risky for the elder to be here.

“It’s okay, Jaeyoon-ah, there’s nothing to be sorry for,” Youngbin said soothingly as he petted his boyfriend’s hair. “C’mon, let’s get you in bed.”

Little did Youngbin know that Jaeyoon had so much to be sorry for. With a sad sigh he pushed himself off of the couch. He padded down the hallway and collapsed into bed, immediately wrapping himself around a pillow. Maybe if he pretended to fall asleep Youngbin would leave completely unsuspecting.

With a sigh, Youngbin got up. He put the soup in a pot on the stove to stay warm and grabbed Jaeyoon’s phone from the couch. He plugged the device into the charger and went to find his boyfriend.

Jaeyoon tightened his grip on his pillow when Youngbin walked into the room. He had stopped openly sobbing at this point but a few stray tears still leaked from his eyes.

Youngbin sighed and slid into bed next to his boyfriend. “It’s okay, baby, it’ll get better,” he said gently as he hugged the younger man.

Jaeyoon buried his head in Youngbin’s neck. He chewed at his lip, not even caring when it started bleeding. Maybe if he told Youngbin, the older man would understand. No, he couldn’t do that; he had already lied and there was no going back now.

"Want me to get you some painkillers?" Youngbin asked as he combed his fingers through Jaeyoon's hair. He hated seeing his boyfriend so upset over something that he couldn't really help him with.

Jaeyoon shook his head. “No, I’m okay,” he mumbled miserably, “I’ll be fine in the morning.”

Youngbin sighed and pressed his lips to Jaeyoon's forehead. "I made some soup if you want some," he offered, "it's on the stove."

“Thanks, babe. I’ll have some in a little bit,” he said appreciatively. Right now he just wanted to try and forget everything that was going on.

Youngbin grabbed Jaeyoon's blanket and tugged it up until it covered the younger man to his shoulders. It was rainy out and the chill in the apartment certainly wasn't helping whatever his boyfriend had contracted.

Jaeyoon hummed contentedly as Youngbin pulled the blanket around his shoulders. “You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to,” he murmured.

"I want to," Youngbin assured him. They'd only been dating for about a month and a half, but there were a lot of things he was willing to do for the younger man that he wouldn't even do for himself.

“I don’t want to get you sick. You just got back to work,” Jaeyoon mumbled. Now that he had calmed himself down, the guilt was starting to set in and he was feeling even worse.

"I'll be okay, babe," Youngbin assured him. There was nothing Jaeyoon could give him that he hadn't already developed an immunity to just by virtue of working at a high school. "Why don't you try to sleep for a bit?"

Jaeyoon nodded again and snuggled closer to Youngbin. He let his eyes fluttered closed. Hopefully he could wake up in a few hours and pretend that everything was fine.

Youngbin kept combing Jaeyoon's hair until he was certain that the younger man was asleep. He felt awful that there was nothing he could except be there. With a sigh, he settled in and fell asleep himself.

Jaeyoon blinked his eyes open and groaned quietly. His headache hadn't gotten better and Youngbin was so warm. He carefully wrapped his arms around his boyfriend and snuggled closer, just a couple more minutes and everything would be okay. At least that’s what he kept telling himself.

Youngbin had woken up while Jaeyoon was still asleep. When his boyfriend started to move, Youngbin carefully pried him off and got up to get the soup ready. It was still simmering on the stove, so he needed to give it a few minutes to cool off.

Jaeyoon whined when Youngbin got up and curled himself around his pillow in an attempt to stay warm. It didn't work very well so he slipped out of bed, grabbed a sweatshirt from his closet, and plodded into the kitchen to find his boyfriend.

Youngbin hummed to himself as he stirred the soup and ladled some of it into two bowls. He didn't want to go snooping through Jaeyoon's cabinets, so he hoped that the younger man had crackers.

Jaeyoon carefully wrapped himself around Youngbin’s back. “That smells really good, hyung,” he murmured.

Youngbin smiled softly. "Do you have saltines or something that we can have with it?" he asked.

Jaeyoon nodded against Youngbin's shoulder. "Cabinet next to the fridge, top shelf," he mumbled sleepily. He knew he would have to let go eventually, but he wasn't quite ready yet.

Youngbin stepped to the side and grabbed the crackers out of the designated cabinet, dragging Jaeyoon with him. “You’re clingy,” he commented.

Jaeyoon whined quietly, but didn’t let go, opting to be dragged around the kitchen instead. “I don’t feel good,” he mumbled, which wasn’t even a lie.

“I know, baby,” Youngbin said, “but you have to let go of me or I’ll spill the soup and then we’ll both not feel good.”

Jaeyoon sighed sadly and released his hold on Youngbin. He plodded over to his chair and took a hard seat, pillowing his head in his hands. He couldn’t bear to even look at Youngbin; the guilt was simply too great.

Youngbin carefully carried the steaming bowls over to the table. He set one in front of Jaeyoon and the other across from him. Grabbing the crackers and some spoons, he took his own seat. As he did so, Jaeyoon’s phone went off on the counter.

Jaeyoon’s head shot up when his phone buzzed, but he stayed put. If he saw any more pictures, they would probably send him into another breakdown and he couldn’t afford that right now. Instead he turned his attention to his soup and pulled the bowl closer to himself.

“You’re not gonna get that?” Youngbin asked curiously. He didn’t want to pry, but it wasn’t like Jaeyoon to not at least glance at a notification.

“It’s probably just something for work and I really don’t want to deal with that right now,” Jaeyoon responded. He kept his eyes glued to his bowl of soup, not even looking up to grab a few saltines from the box.

Youngbin hummed in understanding. He personally silenced all work-related communications on the weekends, except those with certain keywords, like cancellations. He sipped at his soup, not really sure what to say.

Jaeyoon sighed again. “I’m sorry I’m so miserable. I promise I’ll be okay in a couple of days,” he mumbled slowly.

Youngbin shook his head. “You’re not feeling good, it’s completely understandable,” he said, trying to stay cheerful.

Jaeyoon mustered a small smile and braved looking up. The smile faltered when he met Youngbin’s eyes. He was so close to telling the older man, but the fear of losing him kept his mouth shut.

Youngbin smiled tightly and turned his attention back to the soup. The silence was tense but there was nothing he could do to fix that now.

Once they were done eating, Jaeyoon thanked Youngbin profusely and took his phone with him to go lay down. There were a few more pictures and Jaeyoon scrolled through them quickly. In that moment, he vowed that he would try harder to be a part of his daughter’s life, even if her mother didn’t want that. And try he did. At first he wasn’t successful, but finally a few weeks later he was able to meet his ex’s friend after work for some coffee.

Youngbin missed his kids, but he hadn’t missed the busyness of grading. Part of his course was graded on participation and ability to follow directions, but he did have to have a physical homework part in order for the school to approve his curriculum, so he required his students to write a journal after every class about what things they had learned, what they felt they could improve on, and why they felt that certain things went wrong. They weren’t long, but they were certainly tedious and kept him occupied for hours after he got home.

Jaeyoon wouldn’t say coffee went horrible, but it certainly didn’t go well. His friend has spent the last couple hours filling him on everything he had missed that she didn’t send pictures of. It was all incredibly overwhelming, but worse than hearing about all the things he missed over the years was his ex. She wanted absolutely nothing to do with him and wanted him nowhere near Seoyun. Jaeyoon didn’t blame her in the slightest, but it still stung knowing how much harder it would be to try and even see his daughter. When he finally got home, he was lost in a cloud, but he somehow managed to get himself into the shower before he broke down again.

Youngbin was so absorbed in his work that he didn’t even notice Jaeyoon coming home. He had to grade his own assignments and the substitute’s assignments, so he was more than a little behind.

Jaeyoon spent a lot longer than usual in the shower but he didn’t care. Once he finally dragged himself out, he threw on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt and plodded next door to find Youngbin.

Youngbin flinched in surprise when someone suddenly knocked on the door. It had gotten later than he had realized. “It’s open,” he called, assuming it was Jaeyoon.

Jaeyoon took a deep breath and pushed the door open. Putting on his best smile he walked over to the living and plopped down on the couch next to Youngbin. "How was your day?" he asked as he laid his head on the elder's shoulder.

“It was good,” Youngbin said with a smile, “I’m just trying to catch up on grading. How was yours?”

"That sounds tedious," Jaeyoon said wrinkling his nose, "my day was fine just... long." He sighed sadly and buried his head in Youngbin's neck, hoping the elder wouldn't pry too much.

“It’ll be less tedious if you help me,” Youngbin teased. He wouldn’t actually expect his boyfriend to help him with something like this.

"And how am I supposed to do that?" Jaeyoon asked incredulously, "I can barely cook myself let alone grade people I don't even know on their cooking. Sorry, hyung, but you're on your own with this mess." He would have loved to help Youngbin, but there was no way he could help him with something like this.

“How much do you know about chemistry and proportions?” Youngbin asked with a small smile on his face. The work that the kids had been assigned while he was away was all basic math and chemistry and that was what was holding him up. If Jaeyoon actually wanted to help, he could do so easily.

"Well I'm pretty good at math, but chemistry I'm very rusty on," Jaeyoon said, sitting up so he could get a better look at the papers in Youngbin's hands. His job revolved entirely around math so that part wouldn't be a problem, but he hadn't seen a chemical formula since high school.

“All of this shit,” Youngbin said, handing Jaeyoon a stack, “is just the kids making the recipes bigger or smaller. All the measurement conversions are in there. Have at it.”

Jaeyoon's eyes widened as he took in the large stack of papers. He took a deep breath and flipped through the top couple, skimming the problems. "And what exactly do I get for helping you?" he teased.

“Depends on what you want,” Youngbin said with a smirk as he pulled the stack of journals closer to him, “I am a pretty good cook.”

"Hm, dinner does sound really good," Jaeyoon mused, "you got yourself a deal if we can make brownies and watch a movie after.

“Sounds like a plan to me,” Youngbin said. Internally, he was glad he was able to distract Jaeyoon from whatever had him so preoccupied.

Jaeyoon sighed and got to work. Even though he spent most of his day crunching numbers, he didn't mind working some more, especially if it would help Youngbin. He quickly lost track of time and his worries as he built up a steady rhythm going through the student's papers. Even though he didn't know a lot about the students, some of them had managed to do quite well on the assignment. 

Youngbin kept glancing over to watch Jaeyoon work diligently. Whatever was bothering him was evidently far from his mind now, and Youngbin was glad. He didn’t like to be clingy, but he had missed his boyfriend these past few days.

"Hyung, my hand hurts," Jaeyoon whined. He had gone through about three quarters of the papers and even though he didn't have to make a ton of corrections, his wrist still wasn't happy with him. His meeting that afternoon was far from his mind and he was a lot happier spending time with Youngbin. 

“I can finish the rest,” Youngbin said with a soft smile, “you helped me make a really good dent, baby, thank you.”

"You're welcome," Jaeyoon said with a hum. He dropped the rest of the papers into Youngbin's lap and snuggled up to the elder again. "Do I get my dinner now?" he asked teasingly.

“I could teach you how to make it,” Youngbin said thoughtfully. He wasn’t fully serious, although he did want to teach Jaeyoon at some point.

"As long as you promise not to make me do any more conversions, I'm willing to learn," Jaeyoon said, feigning seriousness. He was actually really excited for Youngbin to teach him how to cook and was grateful the elder had offered. Despite how close they had gotten over the last few months, Jaeyoon was still too shy to ask.

Youngbin grabbed his stacks of papers and got up so they could move to the counter. “What do you want to make?” He asked as he set himself up again.

Jaeyoon’s eyes widened slightly and he peered around Youngbin’s kitchen almost waiting for everything to set itself up. “Um, I don’t know? I’ve cooked myself a lot pasta, but never any meat. Maybe something with chicken?” he said uncertainly.

“What kind of chicken?” Youngbin asked patiently. He had plenty of ingredients to make pretty much whatever Jaeyoon wanted.

Jaeyoon didn’t really think this far in advance, he had hoped Youngbin would have all the answers. “Fried?” he asked hesitantly after a moment.

“I don’t have the right kind of oil for that, but I can teach you pretty much any grilled or baked chicken,” Youngbin acquiesced.

Jaeyoon nodded slowly. “Baked,” he decided quickly. That would give them a little free time once the chicken was in the oven. 

“How about chicken parmesan?” Youngbin suggested, “a little basic Italian?”

“Is that complicated?” Jaeyoon asked. He wasn’t really ready to make anything super fancy, but he would be willing to try for Youngbin. 

“No, not at all,” Youngbin said immediately, “it's actually pretty simple.” He started listing everything that Jaeyoon would need and directing him around the kitchen.

Jaeyoon wasn’t entirely convinced, but he followed Youngbin’s instructions anyway. To his surprise everything actually went without a hitch and he was proud of himself when the chicken came out of the oven looking and smelling delicious.

Youngbin was glad that he got the chance to teach Jaeyoon. He started teaching him a lot of different dishes over the next few weeks. It was after one of their messier endeavours when he was cleaning up while Jaeyoon showered that the younger man's phone went off on the counter. Not thinking much of it, he grabbed it and glanced at the message, eyes widening slightly when he read it. Jaeyoon was meeting some woman the next day for lunch, but he'd...already told Youngbin he was busy all day when he asked the same thing?

Jaeyoon towel dried his hair and threw on a pair of comfortable shorts. Foregoing a shirt he meandered back into the kitchen to find Youngbin. "Thanks for cleaning up, hyung," he said, snatching his phone off the counter and plopping into one of the chairs at the table.

Youngbin had quickly put Jaeyoon's phone back on the counter when he heard his boyfriend in the hallway. "Of course," he said, forcing a smile, "I'm gonna borrow your shower if that's okay."

"Yeah absolutely," Jaeyoon said. He quickly typed out a response to his friend and kept an eye on their food. Their night went as usual and Jaeyoon regretfully went to work the following morning. Lunch went better than he anticipated and he was surprised that his friend was able to convince his ex to talk to him. Later that night found him nervously pacing through his living room with his phone to his ear.

Youngbin was on the couch once again, except this time it was a Friday and he was watching a movie. He wasn’t quite sure where Jaeyoon was, but he wasn’t about to go bothering the younger man if he was busy.

Jaeyoon sucked in a breath when a familiar voice floated over the line. "Hi, Hyejin," he greeted shakily, "I know...I know this isn't great timing for everything, but I...I want to try to fix this." He was met with a short laugh and he braced himself for the worst.

“...try to fix this.” Youngbin perked up as he heard Jaeyoon’s voice floating through the wall. He hadn’t even realized that his boyfriend was home and he tried not to be disappointed that Jaeyoon hadn’t even said hello to him. He deserved alone time, Youngbin reminded himself.

"It's been years, why the sudden change of heart?" Hyejin snapped. Jaeyoon sighed sadly. "Look, I know it's taken me much too long to admit that I fucked up, but I really do want to fix this. I'll do absolutely anything to prove it to you," he said sincerely. He was practically begging at this point, but he didn't care; this was the last shot he had at ever seeing his daughter.

Youngbin didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but he couldn’t help it. “...fucked up...fix this...prove it to you...” He didn’t want to jump to conclusions, but there were only so many situations that warranted those words with the level of emotion Jaeyoon was delivering them.

"All of the sudden your family gave you some sort of moral compass that pointed you to try and fix the damage you caused in the last six years?" Hyejin asked flatly. Jaeyoon sighed sadly "No one else knows. I  _ want _ to do this. Please, let me prove to you how serious I am. Can we meet in person?" He waited with bated breath scared that all of his effort would have been for nothing.

“...how serious I am. Can we meet in person?” That did it. Youngbin couldn’t listen to it anymore. He slammed his laptop shut and went to take a shower, blaring loud rock music to drown out any of Jaeyoon’s phone call.

Jaeyoon was surprised, but relieved when Hyejin agreed to meet him for coffee. She would be coming alone, but that was better than nothing. "I'll see you on Thursday," he said before finally hanging up. He felt like the weight on his shoulders had gotten a little bit lighter, but he still had a long way to go. Especially if everything worked out, he would have to find a way to tell Youngbin. Speaking of the older man, Jaeyoon was surprised to hear loud music coming from his apartment, that wasn't very characteristic of his boyfriend.

Youngbin didn't do it intentionally, but he found himself pulling away from Jaeyoon. It was something he always did when he felt anxious about something going wrong. In this case, he was anxious about the prospect of Jaeyoon leaving him for what seemed to be an ex. Was he being cheated on again? Was he the other man this time? Youngbin didn't know, and when he didn't know, he pulled away. He had barely spoken to Jaeyoon since he'd overheard him on the phone, and he hadn't seen him at all, preferring to stay curled up in bed when he wasn't at work. The younger man didn't seem to be looking for him anyway.

Coffee could have gone better, but it could have gone much worse. Hyejin had pulled back the reins quite a bit and he wasn’t even able to get pictures from his friend anymore. That stung a lot, but he trudged on. Jaeyoon had been so wrapped up in trying to see Seoyun that he almost didn’t realize how little he had seen Youngbin the past few weeks. One day when he got home at a normal time, he decided to go visit his boyfriend and was surprised to find the door locked.

Youngbin was in bed with headphones in, working on updating his curriculum for the coming year. He couldn’t stay focused though. Instead, he kept thinking about Jaeyoon. He had realized a few weeks earlier, back when he had first started teaching Jaeyoon to cook, that he was irrevocably in love with the younger man. He was worried now that if his suspicions were right, he would end right back up where he was after his split from Juho.

Jaeyoon frowned when Youngbin didn’t come unlock the door. He pulled out his phone and sent a quick text. “Hey hyung, can you let me in?”

Youngbin was jerked out of his thoughts when a text came into his phone. He sighed and got up. He knew it would look even more suspicious to ignore Jaeyoon or tell him no. He could hide his insecurities for a little while.

Jaeyoon smiled widely when Youngbin answered the door with headphones around his neck. “Hi, hyung! I was wondering why you didn’t hear me knocking,” he said as he stepped into the apartment.

“Oh, yeah,” Youngbin laughed awkwardly as he shut the door again, “curriculum overhaul.” He didn’t really know what to say to Jaeyoon without letting his anxiety get the best of him.

“Anything I can help with?” Jaeyoon asked politely. He had helped Youngbin finish up correcting the math assignments, but he didn’t think he would be able to be as helpful with curriculum revisions.

“No, no, it’s almost done anyway,” Youngbin said, waving him off, “do you want coffee or something?”

“Oh sure, that’d be great,” Jaeyoon said gratefully. He followed closely behind Youngbin to the kitchen. “If you’re almost done, that’ll leave us a lot of time to kill this evening,” he said suggestively.

“I don’t know, I’m kinda tired,” Youngbin said as he walked into the kitchen and turned on the coffee pot. He kept his back to Jaeyoon as he waited for the coffee to brew.

“Oh, okay,” Jaeyoon mumbled. He knew Youngbin must be exhausted from all his work lately, but the more Jaeyoon thought about it, the more odd it seemed. Youngbin had been incredibly standoffish the past few weeks, and Jaeyoon couldn’t believe he was just noticing now. Something was obviously wrong, but he was scared to pry, especially right now.

Youngbin slid Jaeyoon’s mug across the counter when it finished brewing, causing the coffee to slop over the sides a little. He didn’t notice, having already turned around to grab milk and sugar.

Jaeyoon’s eyes widened in surprise at how roughly Youngbin pushed the mug across the counter. Quickly, he got some paper towels and mopped up the hot liquid. “Hyung,” he began slowly, “is everything okay?” He had never seen Youngbin act like this and he was getting worried.

“Yes,” Youngbin said shortly. He gave Jaeyoon the milk and sugar and turned away yet again to turn off the coffee pot. He left the warmer on in case Jaeyoon wanted more, but didn’t pour himself a mug. He just wanted to go to bed.

Jaeyoon knew everything was not okay by Youngbin’s tone, but he was almost scared to pry. They were dating, after all, but it wasn’t like Youngbin to keep this from him like this. “You can talk to me you know,” Jaeyoon said carefully, “that’s what I’m here for.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” Youngbin mumbled before turning around with a huff. “You should go,” he said, “I’m in a shitty mood and I know I’m gonna say something I don’t mean.”

Jaeyoon frowned, but didn’t leave yet. He didn’t quite make out what Youngbin had mumbled, but he didn’t think he wanted to. His boyfriend had never asked him to leave before no matter what was bothering him so this must be serious. “It’s not good to keep what’s bothering you pent up. I don’t mind listening to whatever you have to say if it’ll help you,” he said.

Youngbin sighed again. “Just...drop it, okay?” he asked, “I don’t want to talk about it and you obviously don’t either.” Well. That wasn’t what he meant to say.

Jaeyoon furrowed his eyebrows. “Hyung, I’m offering to listen now... what do you mean I don’t want to talk?” he asked. Judging by how Youngbin was acting, Jaeyoon was slowly putting the pieces together that his boyfriend was mad at him. And that most certainly was not a good thing.

“Drop. It,” Youngbin said again, harsher this time. He didn’t like being so cold with Jaeyoon but he was more upset about this than he had realized.

Jaeyoon took a few steps back and just stared at Youngbin. “Hyung,” he began but he quickly closed his mouth. If Youngbin was going to be mad at him and not disclose why, what more could Jaeyoon do than to listen. “You know where I am if you ever want to talk about this,” he said sadly before turning on his heels and heading for the door.

“Let’s start with how it’s been three weeks since I’ve seen or heard from you,” he blurted out. Stupid, Youngbin, stupid! Why couldn’t he just keep his mouth shut?

Jaeyoon froze, but didn’t turn back around. He curled his hands into fists and shoved them into his pockets to keep them from shaking. This wasn’t going to go well at all. “Work has been exhausting lately,” he said lamely, “besides you didn’t exactly come knocking on my door either.” He knew it was a low blow, but he was scared and he was going to use anything to keep himself afloat.

“Well, considering you lied to me about being busy, I figured you didn’t want me around anymore,” Youngbin said venomously, crossing his arms.

Jaeyoon turned around slowly. “Lied to you about being busy? What are you talking about?” he asked incredulously. He had been busy lately and a lot of things had taken up time he usually spent with Youngbin. Sure he lied about why he was busy, but that was a different problem.

“You made lunch plans at least twice after telling me that you were too busy to leave the office for lunch,” Youngbin accused. Sure, it had been weeks ago, but that was what had really sparked his insecurities in the first place.

Jaeyoon was freaking out now. Anything he tried to say would back him further into a corner. What he was more confused about was the fake that Youngbin knew he made lunch plans. “Did you...did you look through my phone?” he asked slowly. He knew he wasn’t denying the lunch plans, he couldn’t, but if Youngbin had gone through his phone, who knew _what_ he could have found.

“No, I’m not a snoop,” Youngbin said, snorting derisively, “I saw a text you got when I was moving your phone to clean the counter.”

Jaeyoon sighed in relief; that meant Youngbin hadn’t seen any of the pictures. Maybe he could still get out of this. “You do realize some of my meetings are lunches right? That my boss gives me special permission to have?” Technically this was all true, but it didn’t apply to this situation in the slightest.

“That you’re texting on a Sunday to set up? Who you have saved by first name?” Youngbin said, “I’m not an idiot, Jae. I’m trying my hardest not to jump to conclusions here but you have to understand how this looks to me.”

Jaeyoon was barely keeping himself together. His chest ached at the realization that Youngbin thought he was cheating on him. “It’s not... I’m not... I swear I would never do that to you,” he said through the lump in his throat. He was scared, terrified even. Even though this was true, he doubted Youngbin would believe him.

“Right, right, my bad,” Youngbin said sarcastically, throwing his hands up, “I forgot that if people tell the truth always without fault and never lie about things that they would certainly want to keep hidden. My fault, sorry.”

Jaeyoon bit his lip and forced back a sob. “You...you don’t understand,” he choked out. He knew that was only going to sink him further, but he was milliseconds seconds away from cracking and he didn’t know what to do.

“What?” Youngbin barked out, “what don’t I understand? Hm?” He didn’t understand why Jaeyoon felt the need to keep secrets from him.

Jaeyoon flinched at Youngbin’s harsh tone. If this was going to be the end, he might as well give Youngbin all of the information he demanded. “She...the girl in the pictures you found, she’s not my niece,” he mumbled miserably. There, it was said, and there was nothing more Jaeyoon could do than stare at the floor and wait for Youngbin to ask him to leave for good.

It took Youngbin a minute to figure out who exactly Jaeyoon was talking about. It made sense now why the girl looked so much like his boyfriend, but he had to hear it from the younger man himself. “Then...who is she?”

Jaeyoon's voice was barely above a whisper when he answered. He pulled his hands out of his pockets and wrapped them around himself. He wasn’t even relieved that Youngbin knew; he still felt too guilty. "She's my daughter."


	10. Chapter 10

Youngbin felt a wave of guilt crash over him. He had been so absorbed in his own demons that he hadn’t even seen the obvious. Even still, he couldn’t put his own insecurities to rest. “So...you’re trying to, what, reconnect with her mother? Get back together?” he asked hesitantly.

Jaeyoon quickly shook his head. “No, no, no. We... I don’t want to get back together with her. I just want to be a part of my daughter’s life. She turned six a few months ago and I’ve never seen her in person,” he explained.

Youngbin felt himself visibly deflate. He felt awful. “I’m sorry, Jaeyoon-ah,” he said quietly, “you’ve been struggling with this all alone and I’ve just been focused on myself.”

Jaeyoon had to take a minute to register what Youngbin had said. His boyfriend was apologizing to him? It should be the other way around. On top of that, Youngbin wasn’t breaking up with him? “Hyung, why are  _ you _ apologizing? I...I did this to myself. I got scared and I kept this hidden from you. I lied to you, for fuck's sake, after everything you’ve been through, and you’re the one apologizing? No, that’s not right,” he said quickly. He could hear how shaky his voice was but he didn’t have the energy to care.

“It isn’t like you to disappear like that,” Youngbin said slowly, “I should’ve known that you were going through something, but instead I was too busy worrying about whether or not you were sleeping with someone else.”

Jaeyoon felt even more guilty and quickly wiped away a tear that had spilled onto his cheek. “Please stop. I feel bad enough as it is; you don’t have to justify anything. I don’t blame you for not trusting me and quite frankly I don’t know why I thought it would be okay to try and hide something as big as this from you. I did the wrong thing and there’s not enough ways for me to show how sorry I am,” he said slowly, “I can...I can go now if you want.” Youngbin definitely wasn’t as angry with him anymore, but Jaeyoon wasn’t quite sure exactly how the elder felt about him at the moment.

Youngbin balled his sleeves in his fists and used them to wipe his own eyes. He was a sympathetic crier, so if Jaeyoon was crying, then so was he, unfortunate as it was. Slowly, he stepped around the counter and wrapped Jaeyoon in a tight hug, burying his face in the younger man’s shoulder.

Jaeyoon was surprised when Youngbin wrapped him in a hug rather than kicking him out. He hugged the older man back tightly and he couldn’t stop the tears from flowing now. The weight was gone from his shoulders, but the pain of the guilt was still lingering. “I’m so sorry, hyung,” he mumbled over and over.

Youngbin rubbed the back of Jaeyoon’s neck soothingly. He didn’t want to say it was okay, because it wasn’t; he didn’t like being lied to. But he didn’t want to just let the apology hang. “I love you,” he whispered quietly.

Jaeyoon didn’t know what to think. He just told Youngbin his life changing secret, after he had lied to him for months, and his boyfriend still loved him. There was no way this was real; no sane person would react with so much patience...right? It took Jaeyoon a few minutes to realize that Youngbin had actually meant what he said. “I love you too,” he choked out. And that certainly was nowhere near a lie.

Youngbin pulled back slightly so he could get a proper look at his boyfriend. “Please,  _ please _ ,” he asked, “don’t keep something like this from me again. Okay?”

Jaeyoon nodded immediately. “I won’t,” he promised sincerely. It finally dawned on him that Youngbin wasn’t actually going to break up with him, which was what he had expected to come out of this.

Youngbin smiled slightly as he pulled away fully. “You have to tell me everything about her,” he demanded.

Jaeyoon wrapped his arms around himself again. “Well for starters, her name is Seoyun. I...I don’t really know a lot about her other than what my friend told me, but she’s an absolute sweetheart. She’s so friendly and incredibly brilliant. You already know how adorable she is from the picture you saw, even though it’s older,” Jaeyoon quickly stopped himself and dropped his eyes to the floor, “and that’s just about everything.” Sure there was more he could say, but he didn’t want to get carried away, not now.

“I bet you’re gonna be a great dad,” Youngbin said supportively. He knew Jaeyoon still likely had a while to go before he was able to see Seoyun, but he also knew that he’d be wrapped around her finger in no time.

“I hope so, but I’m scared it’s too late for that,” he mumbled sadly. He was more confused than anything how Youngbin was so accepting of everything.

“Hey, stay positive,” Youngbin said, taking Jaeyoon’s hands, “if you’re willing to put in the effort, it’ll eventually be rewarded.”

Jaeyoon squeezed Youngbin’s hands and nodded. “Hyung, how are you so... accepting of everything?” he asked slowly. If this had been the other way around he didn’t think he would have acted so calm.

Youngbin shrugged. “If the roles were reversed, I probably would have tried to hide it too,” he said, playing with Jaeyoon’s fingers distractedly, “I don’t blame you for keeping it under wraps.” It was only part of the truth.

“I was so scared that you would leave me if you found out I didn’t think about the consequences of lying to you,” Jaeyoon admitted, “I really am sorry I lied. I know apologizing doesn’t fix anything, but I have to say it."

“I can understand why you did it,” Youngbin reiterated. On the inside, he was drowning in guilt. He couldn’t believe he had suspected Jaeyoon of something so awful. He felt like he had done nothing in this relationship except compare Jaeyoon to Juho and that wasn’t okay.

“I don’t deserve you,” Jaeyoon said as he wrapped Youngbin in a hug again. He buried his head in the elder’s neck and took deep breaths to keep himself together. “You probably want to know the whole story.”

“I do,” Youngbin confirmed, “but only if you want to tell me.” He didn’t want it to seem like he needed to know every detail of Jaeyoon’s life to be satisfied.

“You deserve to know the truth,” Jaeyoon said, pulling back again, “Seoyun’s mother and I dated in college. We got along great, but towards the end of our relationship I realized that I was gay so I was planning on breaking up with her and just continuing as friends. Well, before I could do that, she told me she was pregnant and I freaked out. I...I even begged her to get rid of the baby for both or our sakes, but she refused.” Jaeyoon stopped and took a deep breath. He felt so ashamed about everything that happened and it was hard to admit it all out loud.

Youngbin pulled Jaeyoon over to the couch so they could sit. He could understand why the younger man had been so scared, but he wasn’t going to say anything until Jaeyoon was done.

Jaeyoon took a hard seat on the couch and composed himself before continuing. “A couple years after we split, I started to feel guilty. I tried to reconnect but my ex didn’t want any part of me, and I don’t blame her. We had a mutual friend that I was able to keep in touch with and she sent me pictures and updates over the years so I’ve been able to watch Seoyun grow, but I’ve never been a part of her life. Recently I’ve been feeling even more guilty and I’m trying to push for it more and I’ve been meeting with my ex and that’s where we are now.” It was weird to get all of this out in the open, but he felt so much better now that Youngbin knew.

Youngbin would like to say that he understood how Jaeyoon was feeling, but he really didn't. He had never had even a pregnancy scare and he certainly didn't have to make that decision between himself and a child. "It'll all work out," he said lamely.

Jaeyoon felt the tension leave his body and slumped against the back of the couch. He appreciated Youngbin’s positive attitude, but he couldn’t say he felt the same. “I know it’s a lot, and I don’t blame you for being upset. I would never ask for your help with this, but I promise I won’t hide from you anymore,” he said sincerely.

"Thank you," Youngbin said quietly. He wouldn't be opposed to helping Jaeyoon out if he ever got to the point of seeing Seoyun again, but he knew that would be a while.

Jaeyoon chewed on his cheek. He had no idea whether Youngbin wanted him to stay or go and he didn’t know which one was worse. “I...I understand if you need a break to process everything,” he whispered meekly.

Youngbin hummed. "Yes, I think it's bedtime," he said, standing up. He pulled Jaeyoon with him, going to the kitchen first to make sure everything was put away then pulling him to his bedroom.

“Hyung, I...” Jaeyoon trailed off as Youngbin dragged him into the bedroom. He balked before climbing into bed. This wasn’t right. Youngbin should be angry at him, yelling at him, telling him to get out, not bringing him to the bedroom so they can sleep. “I don’t have to stay,” he said slowly. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to, he just felt that he didn’t deserve to.

“I want you to,” Youngbin said simply. He didn’t want Jaeyoon to think that he was still mad at him. Youngbin was the one in the wrong here, not his boyfriend.

Jaeyoon was hesitant, but he climbed into bed nonetheless. He kept to one side of the bed, almost scared to get too close to Youngbin.

"Oh my god, come here," Youngbin said, practically dragging the younger man toward him. He hated that Jaeyoon still felt so guilty.

Jaeyoon let Youngbin pull him across the bed and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend. He rolled over so that he could bury his head in the elder’s neck. “I’m so sorry,” he mumbled quietly.

"Nothing to be sorry for," Youngbin said softly, combing his fingers through his boyfriend's hair.

"But I lied to you for months. I have everything to apologize for," Jaeyoon mumbled. He clung onto Youngbin tighter, almost like a child trying to hide from a punishment.

“But you had good reason,” Youngbin said yet again, “I didn’t have a good reason to suspect you of infidelity.”

"But you saw the messages, and I can see why they seem suspicious. I don't blame you for suspecting me of cheating, especially after everything that happened to you," Jaeyoon said, slightly confused. Youngbin was being much more tolerant about this than he expected, which he was grateful for, but was also hesitant about.

“I mean,” Youngbin said hesitantly, “I shouldn’t have been looking at your phone in the first place and I definitely shouldn’t have just made up my mind like that without talking to you.” The way he saw it, he had done everything wrong.

"If I was honest with you from the beginning none of this would have happened," Jaeyoon said miserably. He didn't want to talk about this anymore. Every time Youngbin tried to blame himself instead, Jaeyoon just felt more and more guilty. 

“Can we stop talking about this?” Youngbin asked desperately. He was getting so confused between what he knew and what Jaeyoon was saying. None of it lined up.

Jaeyoon nodded against Youngbin's shoulder and let his eyes fall closed. He was physically exhausted, but he didn't think his mind would let him get any sleep. Although, he was content to simply lay there.

Youngbin still had more questions. “Does she know?” he asked after a minute, “Seoyun’s mom, does she know you’re gay?”

Jaeyoon tensed up. "No," he whispered sadly, "and I haven't figured out how to tell her." He was scared to tell her in case she refused to let him ever see Seoyun, but he didn't want to lie about Youngbin.

“It might make her more willing to work with you if you let her know that that’s why you broke up with her originally,” Youngbin suggested before hesitating. “I’ll even...come along if you want.”

"Yeah I'm definitely going to be honest with her. I can't lie anymore. It's not fair to anyone," Jaeyoon said, "I would hate to wrap you up in this mess any more than you've already been. Thank you, hyung, but that's not fair to you." He would have loved to have Youngbin's support throughout everything, but for now he wasn't sure.

“I’m involved whether you want me to be or not,” Youngbin said gently. That was the nature of dating. “This isn’t scaring me off, okay? Honestly. It’s much better than the alternative.”

Jaeyoon was a little bit surprised by Youngbin's willingness to help him, but he was incredibly grateful. "How are you so okay with all of this?" he asked carefully.

“I like kids and I like you,” Youngbin said simply. There wasn’t much more to it than that.

Jaeyoon sighed softly. His mind was spinning and he still didn't know what to think. This was nowhere near what he had expected to happen and his brain was still trying to catch up.

“We’re going on, what, close to six months now, that we’ve known each other?” Youngbin said, “that’s just the start. I don’t plan on letting you go any time soon, okay?”

Jaeyoon smiled for what felt like the first time in days. "I don't want to let go either," he murmured. There was still a lot they had to work on, but Jaeyoon had hope.

Youngbin was glad to see Jaeyoon’s smile return. Slowly, he leaned forward and kissed him gently, resting his fingers on Jaeyoon’s jaw as he did so.

Jaeyoon leaned into Youngin's touch and carefully kissed him back. He truly didn't understand what he did to deserve his boyfriend.

Youngbin smiled into the kiss. This was what he had missed most. “Get some sleep, baby,” he said as he pulled away, “we’re gonna have a long day tomorrow.”

Jaeyoon whined softly when Youngbin pulled away, but nodded nonetheless. He pillowed his head on the elder's shoulder and allowed his eyes to flutter closed again. "Thank you for being so amazing," he whispered.

Two weeks later found Youngbin and Jaeyoon waiting nervously in a café. Jaeyoon had finally convinced Hyejin to meet with him again and was going to finally tell her the truth about their breakup. Under the table, Youngbin gripped his hand tightly.

Jaeyoon gripped onto Youngbin's hands tightly to keep his own from shaking. He jumped every time the bell of the door chimed when it opened until finally Hyejin walked in. "That's her," he whispered to Youngbin as his ex approached their table.

Youngbin sat up straighter in his seat and tightened his fingers around Jaeyoon’s. “It’s gonna be okay,” he whispered.

Jaeyoon sighed when he saw Hyejin's critical look. "Who is this?" she asked flatly as she sat down. "This is Youngbin," Jaeyoon answered slowly. "And why is he here?" she asked, eyes flicking between both men. "He knows everything and I have a lot to talk to you about. I want to start by being honest for once," Jaeyoon replied. Hyejin scoffed and sat back, but didn't say anything further.

Youngbin picked nervously at his pants. He hoped this all went well and that she would agree to let Jaeyoon see Seoyun.

"I wanted to start by explaining why I originally wanted to break up. Obviously the baby scared me, but even before that I knew we weren't going to last," Jaeyoon took a deep breath, "towards the end of our relationship, I realized that I was gay and as you've probably figured out, Youngbin is my boyfriend. I didn't mean to desert either of you, I was just scared and I'm still not sure why I thought the best solution was to run." "And now I'm supposed to just forgive you for everything and let you into my daughter's life?" Hyejin asked, arms crossed. Jaeyoon sat frozen for a moment, trying to shake off the sting.

“Sorry if I’m overstepping,” Youngbin said hesitantly, “but please think about your daughter. She at the very least deserves to meet her dad and decide for herself if she wants to have a relationship with him. I would think she’s old enough now to know that.”

Hyejin turned towards Youngbin and narrowed her eyes. "I have a fiancé who has been in my daughter's life since she was a baby and she has been more than happy with him as her father figure," she turned back to Jaeyoon, "I really don't even know why I agreed to meet with you. I get that you want to meet her now, but what happens when you realize how much work a child is and walk out again? I don't trust you not to do that." She stood up and grabbed her jacket off the back of the chair. "Hyejin, wait, I just want to meet her in person. Even if I can't be in her life, I want to see her at least once," Jaeyoon pleaded. "I'll think about it," she said flatly before stalking out of the café.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything,” Youngbin said quietly, “are you okay?” He felt like he may have just cost Jaeyoon his last shot.

“I’m fine,” Jaeyoon said, squeezing Youngbin’s hand, “you did nothing wrong, hyung. Come on, let’s get home.” He carefully stood up from the table, guiding Youngbin with him.

“Okay,” Youngbin said uncertainly. He trusted Jaeyoon, but his instincts were telling him that he had done wrong.

Jaeyoon sighed and wrapped his arm around Youngbin. "How about I'll make us some lunch and then we can cuddle in bed and watch a movie?" he suggested. They exited the café and slowly began to meander their way home.

“Sounds like a plan to me,” Youngbin said with a smile. His favorite dates were the ones they spent at home. He always was a homebody.

"Perfect," Jaeyoon said happily. When they finally got back to his apartment, he shooed Youngbin into the bedroom with the order to relax and find something to watch, while he made them a quick lunch.

Youngbin laid on his stomach on Jaeyoon’s bed, flicking through Netflix. He knew Jaeyoon liked horror movies, so he tried to find something that looked not too horrifying for him to stomach while still entertaining enough for his boyfriend.

Jaeyoon put their finished food on a TV tray and carried it into the bedroom. "Find anything good?" he asked as he set the tray down and climbed into bed next to Youngbin.

"The VVitch?" Youngbin suggested. He hadn't seen it before, but he heard that it was fewer jump-scares and more creepy silences. Hopefully, he would be able to handle it.

"A horror movie? Are you sure, babe? I know you don't like horror movies," Jaeyoon said as he settled down. He snagged a chip from the small bowl he had poured and popped it into his mouth.

"Yeah, but you like them and this one doesn't seem this bad," Youngbin said with a shrug, "plus, I have an excuse to cuddle you even more."

Jaeyoon chuckled quietly. "Alright, hit play. Although I can't believe you had to go looking for an excuse to cuddle with me," he said, feigning offense.

Youngbin shook his head and rolled his eyes fondly. "No, I needed an excuse to not let go," he said.

"Oh, I see," Jaeyoon teased, "well I'm right here whenever you need to grab on." It was nice to be able to spend time like this with Youngbin again; he had certainly missed it.

Youngbin snuggled into Jaeyoon's side, only half paying attention to the movie. It wasn't filled with jumps, but it was creepy as hell. He didn't understand how Jaeyoon could be enjoying this.

When they had finished eating, Jaeyoon moved the tray off of the bed and out of the way. He wrapped an arm around Youngbin and pulled him closer. "This one's not so bad," he commented quietly.

"It's really creepy," Youngbin mumbled with a pout, "I really don't get how you do this. It's not fun being scared."

"Oh, babe, we can shut it off and watch an action movie," Jaeyoon said. He wanted Youngbin to watch something he was going to enjoy, not just something for Jaeyoon's sake.

"No, no, it's fine," Youngbin said immediately. He cared more about Jaeyoon enjoying himself than his own enjoyment. His opinion didn't matter as long as his boyfriend was happy.

"But if you aren't enjoying this, we can watch something we both like," Jaeyoon said, reaching for the laptop. He paused the movie and pulled it closer so he could look for something else.

"No, Jaeyoon-ah, it's okay, I promise," Youngbin said hurriedly, not wanting Jaeyoon to ruin his own night for him.

"But, hyung," Jaeyoon said, closing the laptop partially so that he could see Youngbin, "why would we do something just I would enjoy if we could do something we both enjoy?" He had to admit he was a little confused. Youngbin obviously wasn't enjoying the movie so Jaeyoon didn't understand why he was so resistant to shutting it off.

"I don't want you to ruin your night for me," Youngbin said quietly. He didn't understand why Jaeyoon was so concerned about changing the movie.

“Ruin my night? Hyung, changing the movie isn’t ruining my night. If anything, forcing you to watch something just because I like it would ruin my night. Where is this coming from?” Jaeyoon asked. He was even more confused now.

"It doesn't matter how I feel about it as long as you're happy," Youngbin said, a little confused, "if I'm doing something that makes me happy and you upset, then that makes me a shitty boyfriend."

Jaeyoon’s eyes widened and his heart ached. It killed him that Youngbin felt this way and he was determined to fix it. “But, hyung, if _I’m_ doing something that makes me happy and you upset that would make _me_ the shitty boyfriend. That’s why I want to shut the movie off, so we can both be happy,” he said gently.

“But you’re not the one the chose the movie,” Youngbin said, “I chose it knowing it would make me upset because I wanted you to watch something you would enjoy.”

Jaeyoon couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Hyung, please don’t ever do that again. I don’t want you to do things that upset you just to make me happy. You can make me happy in plenty of other ways that don’t upset you,” Jaeyoon said. He knew this wasn’t something he would be able to fix in one conversation, but he was determined to help Youngbin get out of this destructive mindset.

Youngbin shook his head, confused. This didn’t line up. When he was still with Juho, the younger man would thank him for doing things that he didn’t necessarily enjoy to make him happy, but call him selfish if he was enjoying something Juho wasn’t. That was how it was supposed to work. Right?

Jaeyoon sighed sadly and ran his hands through Youngbin's fingers. "You should never force yourself into a situation you aren't happy with just for the sake of someone else, even if you're dating them. That's not how relationships are supposed to work and that's not how this one is going to," Jaeyoon said. He had a sneaking suspicion what had caused Youngbin to think and act this way and it left an unsettled feeling in his stomach.

“Even if it is imbalanced, I deserve that,” Youngbin said, starting to grow agitated. He still felt incredibly guilty for ever suspecting Jaeyoon of cheating on him. The way he saw it, he still didn’t fully deserve to enjoy himself.

"No, no, no, you never deserve that," Jaeyoon said quickly. He felt stuck. He had no idea how to help Youngbin yet, and he was almost afraid to make things worse in the meantime.

“Please don’t,” Youngbin said in a small voice, “you know I do, Jaeyoon-ah, so just please drop it.”

Jaeyoon was torn. He was obviously making Youngbin upset, but he wanted the older man to understand so badly. "I'm only going to drop this because it's making you upset," he said slowly. With a soft sigh, he dropped his hand back to his side and turned towards the computer to pick something to watch.

Youngbin could feel himself on the verge of tears and he didn’t want to cry over this, so he quickly got up and locked himself in the bathroom on the pretext of needing to pee, which he actually did. Once he did his business, he washed his hands and face and made sure he wasn’t blotchy before returning to Jaeyoon. At this point, he didn’t even want to watch a movie. He just wanted to go to sleep.

Jaeyoon sighed sadly when Youngbin left the room. Did he make everything worse? He certainly hoped not, but he couldn't be sure. After deciding that a movie probably wasn't a good idea, he closed the laptop and put it to the side before quickly bringing their dirty dishes to the kitchen and returning to bed.

Jaeyoon wasn’t in the room when Youngbin finally emerged from the bathroom. That was good. It gave Youngbin a chance to curl up around a pillow and pretend to be asleep.

Jaeyoon paused in the doorway when he saw Youngbin already curled up in the middle of the bed. He sighed softly and finally crawled into bed next to his boyfriend, who must have been exhausted considering his eyes were already close. Nonetheless, Jaeyoon let his fingers gently comb through the elder's head and he whispered a simple "I'm sorry, hyung," despite knowing full well that it wouldn't do anything.

Youngbin felt a few tears leak from his eyes. What was Jaeyoon still apologizing for? Everything was Youngbin’s fault. It always was.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains discussion of emotional manipulation, emotional abuse, and toxic relationships.

Jaeyoon's chest tightened when he saw a few tears roll down Youngbin's cheek. He gently wiped them away with the pad of his thumb before settling down more comfortably. He wanted to wrap Youngbin in his arms, but because of the pillow in his way, he had to settle for laying as close as possible.

Youngbin combatted the urge to run away. As much as he wanted to be alone to think, he knew it would just make things worse in the long run. He wasn’t going to hide from Jaeyoon like he had done before.

Jaeyoon finally let his eyes fall closed, but he didn't sleep very well. His mind was running rampant with things he could do to help Youngbin, but he was coming up empty. He was mostly grateful that it was the weekend and he wouldn't have to worry about going to work on practically no sleep.

Youngbin kept his eyes closed, but he wasn’t able to fall asleep. At some point he rolled over so his back was to Jaeyoon’s chest, but even that didn’t help.

Jaeyoon refrained from wrapping his arm around Youngbin when he felt the older man roll against his chest. He didn't want to trap him in bed, especially with how upset he had made the elder. 

When morning came, Youngbin still hadn’t slept, though not for lack of trying. He was teary, but he wasn’t sure if it was because he was tired or because he was still upset.

Jaeyoon whined quietly when he realized that sunlight was already streaming through the window. He had absolutely no desire to get up, so he didn't; opting to stay in bed and take advantage of the lazy day as much as possible.

Youngbin carefully pulled himself from Jaeyoon’s grasp. He loved his boyfriend, he really did, but being held was making him anxious. Instead, he padded out to the couch and laid down with his face smushed in the back cushion, using his hood to block the light and his arm to pillow his head.

Jaeyoon sighed sadly when Youngbin left, but he didn’t follow him. He knew his boyfriend needed his space so he decided he would doze in bed until he got hungry and then make them some food for whatever meal was most appropriate at the time.

Once Youngbin was comfortable on the couch, albeit a bit chilly, he managed to fall asleep fairly quickly. Whatever had just happened was something he wanted to forget about.

Finally Jaeyoon couldn’t take laying in bed anymore so he got up and made his way to the kitchen. There was no need to get changed since he wasn’t going anywhere. As quietly as he could, Jaeyoon bustled around the kitchen making some pancakes for Youngbin to wake up to.

When Youngbin woke up, he was disoriented and sore. He just barely fit on the couch if he hunched a bit, so his shoulders and neck were extra tense. “Jaeyoon-ah?” He called.

“I’m in the kitchen, hyung,” Jaeyoon called back. He was just pouring the last of the batter into the pan to cook and was grateful for the excellent timing.

Youngbin simply grunted in response and hunched back down to try and rest a little more. He was glad Jaeyoon had gotten to a point with cooking that he no longer needed to be supervised.

Jaeyoon wasn’t entirely surprised when Youngbin didn’t come into the kitchen right away. He plated the pancakes and threw all of the dishes into the sink to wash later. “Hyung, do you want any pancakes?” he asked gently when he popped his head into the living room.

“Maybe later,” Youngbin mumbled, but it was entirely muffled by his hood. With a sigh, he squeezed his eyes shut. If he had fucked everything up, he wasn’t ready to face it yet.

Jaeyoon couldn’t hear what Youngbin said, but it was an obvious “no” judging by the lack of movement Youngbin exhibited. He decided to busy himself cleaning the kitchen and dishes in the meantime.

A few weeks later found Youngbin lounging on Jaeyoon’s couch as the younger man cleaned up from dinner. He laid on his stomach, reading a book off of his tablet as he waited.

Jaeyoon chewed his lip while he slowly cleaned up the kitchen. He wanted to talk to Youngbin about everything that had been going on lately, but he was scared. Every time he tried to talk to Youngbin before it had ended in them ignoring each other for the rest of the night. Taking a deep breath he finally made his way into the kitchen to find Youngbin. “Whatcha reading?” he asked casually.

“It’s like...half memoir, half bread recipes,” Youngbin tried to describe. He sat up to give Jaeyoon space to sit down.

“That sounds interesting,” Jaeyoon said as he plopped down on the couch next to Youngbin. He took a deep breath; he didn’t want to scare his boyfriend, but he knew he had to address the elephant in the room. “Hey, hyung, I...I’m kinda worried about you,” he said slowly.

Youngbin hummed before he fully processed the statement. “Wait, why?” he said, glancing up at Jaeyoon, “I’m fine.”

Jaeyoon ran his hands through his hair. “Lately you’ve been blaming yourself for things that aren’t your fault and doing things that you don’t like just to make me happy and that’s not...that’s not good,” he said carefully.

Youngbin sighed. This again? “Jaeyoon-ah, we’ve been over this,” he said gently, “that’s how it’s supposed to work.”

"No, hyung, it's not," Jaeyoon said firmly, "relationships aren't supposed to be one sided like this. I...I don't know how exactly Juho treated you, but this isn't how I do things." He knew bringing up Juho probably wasn't a very good idea, but he had to get Youngbin to see his point.

“I don’t see what Juho has to do with any of this,” Youngbin said defensively, “if anything, this is the opposite of how things were with him.”

"Are you happier that things are different?" Jaeyoon asked carefully. He knew trying to explain his point to Youngbin wasn't working so he was going to have to let the older man figure it out himself.

“Of course,” Youngbin said automatically, “I feel better knowing that I’m a better boyfriend for you than I was for him.”

Jaeyoon's eyes widened and he sighed. He had to be careful or he was going to fuck this up even more. "And am I a better boyfriend for you than he was?" he asked slowly.

“Of course,” Youngbin said again, “but that’s not really a high bar to reach. You’re not cheating on me, which is about as much as I can ask.”

"Cheating is a form of lying, right? And you don't want to be lied to, which is a valid expectation in a relationship. Well, I lied to you about Seoyun, which makes me a bad boyfriend. So it would be expected that you would be upset with me for lying, not trying to blame yourself for it," Jaeyoon explained. He could feel him straying further and further from his goal, but he didn't know what else to do.

“Sometimes lying is acceptable,” Youngbin said, a little uncertainly, “if you lied about a holiday or a date in order to surprise me, I wouldn’t be mad. As long as you have a good reason, which you did, and it turns out happy, which it did, I don’t mind being misled for a moment.”

"Oh, hyung," Jaeyoon murmured miserably as he sat back on the couch and ran his hand through his hair. He sighed, but decided to trudge on. "Okay, maybe lying for a day or two to surprise you for a date is fine, but for months? About something as big as a child? That's...that's completely different. To be honest, I didn't even have a good reason to not tell you; I only had a very selfish reason. Sure it's ending happily, which I am grateful for, but it could have also started much happier."

“You had no reason to tell me about her when you didn’t even have a chance at a relationship with her,” Youngbin said pointedly, “it’s a scary thing to own up to and I respect you for telling me at all.”

"If this was reversed, how would you have expected me to react?" Jaeyoon asked carefully. He kept his eyes on Youngbin's face, making sure he didn't upset the elder too much.

“If it was reversed, I either would’ve never hidden it from you or I would’ve never told you,” Youngbin admitted after a moment of quiet, “if you did find out without me telling you, I’d expect you to be mad, not because I lied but because I intended to keep lying.”

"So if that's how you would have expected me to react, why would you react any differently? I had no idea how I would have told you if you didn't start putting the pieces together on your own." Jaeyoon said gently. He hoped he was getting closer to helping Youngbin understand.

“Because...because...well, you intended on telling me someday. Right?” Youngbin just wanted this conversation to be over.

"I...I don't know," Jaeyoon admitted slowly, "if everything fell apart and didn't work out, I don't think I would have." He was almost hoping Youngbin would be mad at him at this point; that would at least be a step in the right direction, even if it didn't feel like it.

“Oh,” Youngbin said in a small voice, “well, that - that’s okay too! If you lost your chance before I even got involved, then there would still be no point in telling me, especially if it hurts you.”

"No, no, no, it's not okay. None of this is okay. Take away all of the details. Take away all of the what ifs. At the end of the day, I lied to you for months and that is not, and will never be, okay. I know it's hard to understand, but you have to stop thinking about me and start thinking about you for this all to make sense," Jaeyoon said.

Youngbin paused. “Why would I do that?” he asked slowly, “that would be incredibly selfish of me. I can’t just think about myself; this is a relationship, two people.”

"Okay, yes, it's important to think about the other person in a relationship. So if it's bad for you to be selfish, then isn't it bad for me to be selfish too?" Jaeyoon asked slowly. He didn't know if he was coming or going at this point and it was incredibly discouraging.

Youngbin was really confused now and he tried to think back. When had Jaeyoon ever acted selfishly toward him? He hadn’t, as far as Youngbin could tell, and he told him so.

"We're just going in circles," Jaeyoon said hopelessly, "I just...I just want you to see your worth in a relationship and not put yourself down to make me happy. It's okay if it takes some time, but we'll get there, I'll make sure of it." He didn't think they wouldn't get anywhere tonight.

“I read somewhere once that if you love someone, you’ll do whatever it takes to make them happy, even at great personal cost,” Youngbin said slowly, “I don’t mind being a second thought as long as you’re happy, Jaeyoon-ah.”

"Where did you read _t_ _hat_?" Jaeyoon asked incredulously. That absolutely did not sound like how a relationship should work and that certainly wasn't how theirs was going to. 

“I don’t know, on the internet somewhere,” Youngbin said with a shrug. He had found it when he was looking for ways to approach Juho about the cheating and it was one of the reasons he ultimately hadn’t.

"Well that's not how this relationship is going to work. We're going to work together to make sure each other is happy and we are most certainly not going to sacrifice our happiness or health that drastically to make sure the other person is happy. Do you understand? We're a team and we're going to act like one," Jaeyoon said definitively. 

“Sure, fine,” Youngbin said. He was done with this conversation. “Can we please talk about something else now?”

"Of course. What do you want to talk about?" Jaeyoon asked. He had no idea how he was going to bring this up again, but hopefully things would start to get better from here.

“Have you heard anything from Hyejin yet?” Youngbin asked. He was almost more nervous for her verdict than Jaeyoon was.

"Not yet. I'm still talking to my friend though and she’s trying to help. She agrees that Seoyun deserves to at least meet me so she’s trying to convince Hyejin of that. All I can do is hope that she's successful," Jaeyoon replied.

“I hope so too,” Youngbin said softly. He curled into Jaeyoon’s side with a hum. It was starting to get late.

"What do you say we get to bed?" Jaeyoon suggested quietly. He could tell Youngbin was exhausted and quite frankly he was too. Their conversation had completely sapped his energy.

Youngbin nodded tiredly, suppressing a yawn. He wanted nothing more than sleep right now.

Jaeyoon spent the next few weeks wracking his brain on how to help Youngbin. The only thing it seemed that he paid attention to was whatever he had found on the internet to read, so that was where Jaeyoon went. It didn't go as smoothly as he had hoped, but eventually he found an article that looked pretty official about the signs of a toxic relationship and why it was bad. Jaeyoon printed it out and was going to give it to Youngbin as soon as possible. Hopefully this would help the older man understand how backwards his mindset was.

Youngbin was glad that it was nearing the beginning of the school year. Although he saw Inseong and Jaeyoon regularly, he was still going crazy spending so much time at home.

Jaeyoon got home from work one day and slipped into his apartment to get changed and snag the article. Taking a deep breath, he headed next door, hoping he would finally be able to help Youngbin.

“Hey, you’re home!” Youngbin said happily, sitting up when Jaeyoon walked into his apartment. A smile split his face. He had been so  _ bored _ .

"I am," Jaeyoon said, a soft smile playing at his lips, "and how was your day?" He took a seat next to Youngbin and kept the article rolled up in his hands.

Youngbin groaned. “I’m so bored,” he complained, “I can’t wait for school to start again.”

“You’ll be back with your kids soon enough,” Jaeyoon said supportively, “maybe you can get some practice by teaching me a new recipe.”

Youngbin hummed noncommittally. He loved teaching Jaeyoon, but he could tell neither of them had the energy to cook just then. It was too damn hot.

Jaeyoon tilted his head. “You don’t like that idea. Do you have something else in mind?” he asked quietly, leaning forward slightly.

“It’s just too hot for that idea,” Youngbin said, finally noticing the paper in Jaeyoon’s hand. “What’s that?”

Jaeyoon sat back and gripped the article tighter. “Oh, um, this is something I want you to read, but you don’t have to do it right now,” he said hurriedly, “it’s just something I think might help you without upsetting you.” He slowly extended his arm towards Youngbin, now suddenly very hesitant to give him the article.

Youngbin took one glance at the headline and tossed the paper back to Jaeyoon. “I don’t know why you think I need that,” he said coldly, sitting up properly, “I’ve never been in an abusive relationship.”

"Hyung, you and I both know your relationship with Juho wasn't exactly...healthy. I really think you should just at least skim this. I even read it myself and I'm sure it can help you. Please just try it, and if this doesn't help, I promise I'll let it go," Jaeyoon said, practically pleading.

“I don’t  _ need _ help,” Youngbin said harshly, finally snapping, “Juho never hurt me, and our relationship didn’t traumatize me. This is the last time I’m going to ask you to drop it.” With a huff, he got up and retreated to his bedroom.

Jaeyoon sat on the couch for a minute in stunned silence. He knew he could jeopardize their relationship if he pushed any further, but he couldn't let Youngbin continue to live like this. He pushed himself off the couch and followed his boyfriend to the bedroom and stood in the doorframe. "Look, I get that you're pissed and I get that you're upset and that's fine, but I care about you way too much to let this go. I'm going to leave this article on your table and you can choose what you want to do with it, throw it out, read it, burn it, whatever. I've done everything I can to help you and nothing is going to change my feelings for you. You know where I am if you need me," he said. With that he turned on his heels and made his way back through the apartment.

Youngbin flinched when the apartment door slammed as Jaeyoon left. He felt himself tearing up. Why did he always go and ruin things? He should’ve just agreed and gone along with what Jaeyoon wanted. Instead, here he was, being selfish again.

Jaeyoon threw himself on his couch and clicked the TV on. He gathered a pillow in his arms, and stared at the TV, but he wasn't paying attention. Maybe he had just ruined everything, but if this is what Youngbin needed to help himself, then Jaeyoon was willing to suffer the consequences. It was hitting him in this moment just how much he cared about the older man and he felt so guilty that there wasn't more he could do. 

It took a while for Youngbin to convince himself to go back out to the living room and read the paper. On one hand, he wanted to stay mad. He’d asked Jaeyoon multiple times to stop bringing it up, and yet he continued to do so. The other hand was simply telling him to make Jaeyoon happy, make Jaeyoon happy, and eventually, that was the one he went with. He read the article and often found himself nodding along until he caught himself and remembered that no, he absolutely did not do these things. Juho didn’t affect him anymore. No way.

Jaeyoon was terrified out of his mind. What if this article didn't work? What if Youngbin shut him out completely and stayed in his negative mindset? What if someone new came along and treated him the same way Juho had? Jaeyoon quickly shook his head; he couldn't think like that. Everything was going to be okay, at least that was what he hoped for.

Youngbin read the article, and then he read it again. And again, and again, until it started to make sense why none of it made sense. Juho had broken him down, had chipped away pieces and thrown them out until there was barely anything left, and Youngbin hadn’t even noticed until now. Even still, as he recognized their relationship for what it was, he couldn’t find it in him to be mad at Juho. It was  _ him _ that was never doing enough, never saying enough, and it was his own fault that Juho had hurt him. The paper fell back onto the table and Youngbin started to cry.

Jaeyoon launched himself off the couch when he heard Youngbin crying faintly through the walls. He let the pillow fall to the floor and didn't even bother turning off the TV, all he cared about was getting to his boyfriend. "Hyung, it's okay. I'm here, it's okay," he said gently as he practically sprinted through the apartment.

Youngbin clung to Jaeyoon tightly as he cried his eyes out. It hurt, thinking back to his and Juho’s relationship, in a way that seemed completely painless, and yet his chest ached. He ached for the pieces of himself that he may never get back.

Jaeyoon held Youngbin close and let the older man cry. The article must have clicked and while Jaeyoon felt horrible that Youngbin was so upset, he was also relieved. "I'm right here, babe, and I'm not going anywhere," he said soothingly.

Youngbin cried until he had nothing left. No energy, no tears, nothing. He sniffled in Jaeyoon’s lap, hoping that the younger man wouldn’t want to talk about it. Not yet.

Jaeyoon let his hand slowly rub up and down Youngbin's back. "Do you want to go lay in bed?" he asked gently. He didn't want to make Youngbin anymore upset tonight; the older man had been through enough.

Youngbin nodded tiredly, painstakingly pulling himself away from his boyfriend. He was glad that Jaeyoon had rushed over; he knew he would be a million times more miserable without him.

Jaeyoon wrapped his arms around Youngbin's waist and guided him into the bedroom as he had done countless times before. He helped him get into bed and crawled in after him. Once he settled down himself, he opened his arms for his boyfriend.

Youngbin curled up next to Jaeyoon immediately, pillowing his head on the younger man’s chest. Using his hand and the hood of his sweatshirt, he hid his face as well.

Jaeyoon sighed sadly and wrapped his arms around Youngbin protectively. He didn't blame his boyfriend for not wanting to talk and all he could hope was that the elder fell asleep quickly.

The fortunate thing about having cried himself out was that he was too physically exhausted to stay awake. In his dreams, his brain took him back to all of the moments of his and Juho’s relationship, which he was beginning to realize barely involved him at all. Even his own birthday dinner - the one they  _ had _ spent together - was at a restaurant that Youngbin didn’t like. Juho hadn’t liked it either, had complained about the food the entire way home as if it had been Youngbin’s choice to go there, but the principle remained that he was the decision maker.

Jaeyoon couldn't fall asleep until he heard Youngbin's breathing even out. He let his eyes slowly close and was asleep within mere minutes.

Youngbin relived many parts of his past relationship that night. A fight he and Juho had had when he’d gone out to the movies with Inseong instead of on a date with Juho. It didn’t seem to matter at the time that Juho was working late all that week anyway. A work party that Youngbin had been sick for and hadn’t wanted to go to at all. Juho had criticized him for sitting at a table all night, trying not to throw up, instead of mingling with the coworkers that he didn’t even like. An argument that had ended with Youngbin being locked out of what was at the time his own apartment and forced to spend the night on Inseong’s couch. Juho had gotten annoyed the next morning that Youngbin had gone to his best friend’s instead of toughing it out in the hallway and begging to be let back in. He didn’t like these moments, didn’t like them at all.

Jaeyoon had never been more grateful he didn’t have to go to work the next day. He was an incredibly light sleeper and every time Youngbin jerked against his side, his eyes flew open. In the end, he gave up on sleep and resorted to methodically combing his fingers through Youngbin’s hair.

Youngbin woke up to blurry vision. He went to rub his eyes and felt liquid under his fingers. He was crying again. How did he still have enough water in him to do that?

Jaeyoon looked down and watched Youngbin carefully when the older man finally woke up. He scratched his nails gently along his scalp so that the elder knew Jaeyoon was awake as well.

Youngbin sniffled and used his sleeve to wipe away the tears on his face. He didn’t want to face Jaeyoon yet. He was too ashamed.

Jaeyoon felt bad that Youngbin was still so upset, but he wanted to give him the space he needed. He felt his eyes beginning to drop again and he focused on fighting the sleepiness off, although it didn’t go very well.

Youngbin reached down around his stomach until he found the edge of the blanket. With a small grunt, he pulled it up until it covered his shoulders and bunched around his neck.

Jaeyoon cracked one eye open when he felt Youngbin shift around. He snuggled a little closer, hoping to benefit from the warmth of the blanket as well

“‘M sorry I was so stubborn,” Youngbin mumbled, still sleepy. He couldn’t bring himself to look at his boyfriend yet.

“Hey hey, no more apologizing, baby, okay? I’m not mad or upset at you,” Jaeyoon mumbled quietly.

Youngbin simply hummed. He wasn’t going to fight on that front today. “I’m worried about Seokwoo now,” he admitted quietly.

To be honest, Jaeyoon hadn’t even thought about Seokwoo. “During lunch on Monday, I’ll sneak upstairs and talk to him,” he said quietly.

“Thank you,” Youngbin mumbled. That actually did help his conscience a lot. He didn’t know Seokwoo, nor did he particularly like him, but he wouldn’t be able to handle the guilt if he’d left him to suffer the way he had.

“Of course, babe,” Jaeyoon murmured. He let his fingers continue playing with Youngbin’s hair. He really hoped they were in for a lazy day, he could certainly use it.

“What if he hurts more people?” Youngbin asked quietly, “that’s on me.” If he hadn’t left Juho, he would be the only one getting hurt now.

“No, no, baby, that’s not on you. You aren’t responsible for his actions. For now we’ll do our best to make sure Seokwoo’s okay and go from there,” Jaeyoon said quietly.

“It feels like it is,” Youngbin mumbled. He knew now that those thoughts were a result of the abuse, but it was hard to get away from them.

“I know, baby, I know it’s hard not to blame yourself, but please trust me,” Jaeyoon murmured.

“I do,” Youngbin said, “I trust you with my life.” He thought back to the thing he was going to ask Jaeyoon the day before, before everything had gone to shit. Now didn’t seem like the right time to ask anymore.

“Good. I promise you everything’s gonna get a lot better from now on,” Jaeyoon said. It felt good to know that Youngbin was taking steps in the right direction, but he knew it would be a long time until everything was truly okay.

Monday morning found Seokwoo at his desk, headphones in as he tried to resolutely ignore Juho on the other end of the floor. The slightly older man had an unfortunate pastime of trying to distract Seokwoo from his work and it was starting to take a toll on his performance.

Jaeyoon was more than worried about talking to Seokwoo. Worst case scenario the man would ignore him, but at least he could say he tried. When the day was over he quickly snuck upstairs, hoping to catch his coworker before he left.

Seokwoo was surprised when Jaeyoon showed up at his desk as everyone was packing up to leave. He personally was staying late to try and catch up on work, but Juho was already out the door and heading home. “Can I help you?” he asked warily.

“I know I’m probably the last person you want to talk to and I know this is going to sound suspicious coming from me, but I’m worried about you,” Jaeyoon replied. He knew that was incredibly cryptic, but he needed to judge how Seokwoo was going to react to him.

“You’re worried? About  _ me _ ?” Seokwoo repeated slowly. Where the hell was Jaeyoon going with this?

Jaeyoon nodded. “The longer I’m with Youngbin, the more I realize how emotionally manipulative Juho was to him. I know this sounds like I’m trying to get back at him for everything, but trust me when I say that we are both worried he’s going to do the same thing to you,” he said nervously.

“Juho’s fine,” Seokwoo said dismissively, “I know his relationship with Youngbin wasn’t the best, but they both had their part in that.”

Jaeyoon froze, was he already too late? “I know it’s hard to believe, but just try to think about how he treats you and if that’s really how you deserve to be treated,” he said gently.

Seokwoo did pause. He thought about the issues he’d been having all day. No matter how many times he asked Juho to leave him alone at work, the older man just said he was joking and that Seokwoo was ruining his fun. “I guess there are some things I wish were different,” he said slowly, “but that’s not an uncommon thing in relationships.”

“No it’s not, but he needs to listen to what isn’t making you happy and be willing to change and compromise until both of you are,” Jaeyoon said carefully. Maybe, just maybe, he could help Seokwoo too.

He doesn’t though, Seokwoo thought. Juho was never willing to compromise on anything without complaining about being unhappy and it was honestly exhausting. His and Youngbin’s entire relationship had been like that? Seokwoo felt bad for the older man now. It made sense now why he hadn’t freaked out so much when he found out that Juho was cheating. Despite what Juho had said about their relationship, Seokwoo had to think he was lying. Youngbin didn’t look like he could even hurt a fly.

“I know it’s a lot and it’s even worse coming from me, but please take care of yourself. And if you need anything, you know how to find me,” Jaeyoon said. He mustered a small smile.

Seokwoo’s mind was running a million miles an hour. He needed to talk to Juho tonight, and if things went south, he knew he could crash with Taeyang and Youngkyun for a few days. “Yeah, thanks,” he said distractedly.

“I, uh, no problem,” Jaeyoon said awkwardly, “is there anything I can do?”

“Tell Youngbin that I’m sorry,” Seokwoo said sincerely, “I didn’t mean for things to go down how they did but I’m at least glad that it got him out of that situation, and I hope he starts feeling better soon.”

Jaeyoon nodded. “I will,” he said simply, “I’ll see you around, Seokwoo-yah.” With a final look over his shoulder, Jaeyoon headed home to his boyfriend.

Youngbin was in the middle of cooking when Jaeyoon got home. “Hey, baby,” he called, attention still on the food in front of him.

Jaeyoon dropped his stuff by the door and made a beeline for the kitchen. He wrapped himself around Youngbin’s back and dropped his head onto the elder’s shoulder. “How was your day?” he mumbled.

“Good,” Youngbin said with a small smile. It was the best day he had had in ages. “How about yours?”

“Good. I talked with Seokwoo today,” he began slowly, “he’s sorry about everything that happened, and he hopes you feel better soon. I think he’s going to talk to Juho so he’ll be okay.”

“That’s good,” Youngbin said quietly. He was glad that they had managed to get Seokwoo out of there before it was too late.

Jaeyoon pressed a gentle kiss to the exposed skin of Youngbin’s neck. “Do you want any help?” he asked softly.

“Nope, I’m almost done,” Youngbin said as he turned the stove off. He moved his pots around, mixing the different pieces together until the dish was finished.

Jaeyoon stayed wrapped around Youngbin’s back, shuffling around the kitchen with his boyfriend. He knew he was definitely in the way, but he couldn’t bring himself to let go.

“If you’re gonna be clingy, can you at least get me some bowls?” Youngbin requested. He couldn’t reach the cabinet with Jaeyoon wrapped around his shoulders.

Jaeyoon nodded and wordlessly reached into the cabinet to grab the bowls Youngbin requested. Usually he wasn’t this quiet, but his mind was a tangle of worried thoughts and he couldn’t break away from them long enough to find anything to say.

Youngbin dished the food into the bowls and finally ducked out of Jaeyoon’s grasp to move them over to the table. “Are you okay?” he asked after a moment, “you seem quiet.”

Jaeyoon sighed sadly and took a hard seat in a chair. “I’m fine, I’m just...worried,” he said quietly.

“About what?” Youngbin asked as he grabbed utensils for them both and sat across from his boyfriend.

Jaeyoon sighed sadly. “Everything. You, Seokwoo, Seoyun,” he trailed off and distracted himself by picking at his food.

“I’m okay,” Youngbin reassured him, “Seokwoo will be fine. And we’ll get you to see Seoyun, I promise.”

Jaeyoon sighed again. “I know,” he mumbled simply. He felt bad brushing Youngbin off because he knew the older man meant well, but he still couldn’t shake the concern.

Youngbin frowned. He didn’t know what he could do to help Jaeyoon feel better. With a sigh, he started eating.

Jaeyoon only ate a few bites, before the guilt of all but ignoring Youngbin took over. “I’m gonna take a shower,” he mumbled before pushing himself up from the table. Try as he might, Jaeyoon couldn’t shake his downtrodden mood even over the next couple days. One day he was sitting on his couch when his phone suddenly started ringing. His heart sank when he saw the contact name, but he picked up the phone regardless. “Hi, Hyejin.”

Youngbin paused the movie they were watching, sinking into Jaeyoon’s side when he heard who it was. He tugged the younger man’s arm around his shoulder and threaded their fingers together for support.

Jaeyoon gripped Youngbin’s hand tightly as he listened to Hyejin. He couldn’t tell where this was going considering she was rambling on about the safety of “her” daughter and how she was worried how Seoyun would react. “I get it, Hyejin, just tell me you don’t want me to see her and I’ll understand,” he said sadly.

Youngbin sighed and pulled Jaeyoon’s hand up to rest it against his cheek. He felt bad for his boyfriend. All Jaeyoon wanted was to see his daughter in more than a photograph.

“That’s not what I’m saying. You can meet her, but if at any point she gets upset. I will make sure you _never_ see her again,” Hyejin said. Jaeyoon sat there frozen for a moment making sure he heard right. “I - I - when?” he asked desperately.

Youngbin felt Jaeyoon freeze and glanced up at him worriedly. He hoped everything was okay.

“This upcoming weekend is fine for us, but there’s one condition: don’t bring your boyfriend. It’s enough to explain who you are let alone what the two of you are,” Hyejin said. Jaeyoon’s mouth pressed into a hard line. “I’m sorry, Hyejin, but I can’t do that. If you’re not ready for her to learn everything about me then I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to see her,” he replied.

Youngbin's eyes widened and he sat up straight, knocking Jaeyoon’s arm off of him. “What are you doing?” he hissed.

Jaeyoon lowered the phone for a moment. “She doesn’t want me to bring you and that doesn’t fly,” he replied simply.

“What? No, go see Seoyun!” Youngbin said, “that’s the important part here. There’s plenty of other times to bring me later.”

“I can’t do this without you,” he admitted quietly. He raised the phone back to his ear. “Have you even talked to Seoyun? Told her about me? Does she even want this?” he asked.

“I’ll come with you even if I can’t actually see her, just please don’t ruin this opportunity for me,” Youngbin whispered.

Jaeyoon sighed and leaned his head back on the couch, only half listening to Hyejin. “Fine, I won’t bring Youngbin,” he finally said, “Just tell me when and where I can see her.”

Youngbin sighed in relief and reclaimed his spot under Jaeyoon’s arm. As much as he wanted to meet Seoyun, there would be plenty of time for that later.

Jaeyoon gripped Youngbin’s hand tightly. “I’ll see you on Saturday,” he said before hanging the phone up. He tossed it to the side and heaved a sigh of relief. “I’m going to meet my daughter.”

“Baby, that’s amazing!” Youngbin said excitedly. He was so glad that Hyejin had finally decided to let Jaeyoon in a little. “Where are you meeting her?”

“At a park near their apartment,” he replied. Now that he was actually going to meet Seoyun, a new set of worries crashed over him. “What if...what if she hates me?”

“She’s six, I doubt she even knows how to do that,” Youngbin said soothingly, “I’m sure she’ll love you, baby.”

“But I don’t know what Hyejin’s told her. And what if I blow it? This is my one shot to actually get things right for once, and there’s so much that can go wrong,” Jaeyoon rambled worriedly.

“Hey, hey, breathe,” Youngbin said, gripping Jaeyoon’s hand tightly, “you are sweet and you are kind and you are gentle and there is absolutely no reason for her to hate you, okay?”

Jaeyoon took a couple deep breaths. He nodded slowly and pulled Youngbin as close to him as he could. “I don’t know what I’d do without you,” he murmured sincerely.

Youngbin leaned up and kissed Jaeyoon softly. “It’s gonna be okay,” he mumbled.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for mentioned domestic violence
> 
> I can't believe this story is already over; it feels like we just started posting it yesterday. Next on the Monday schedule is part 2 of our Royal Oneus AU, so stay tuned!

Jaeyoon was a walking ball of nerves the next couple of days. When Saturday rolled around he could barely pry himself off of Youngbin even long enough to drive to the park.

Youngbin decided that he would hang around in the area in case Jaeyoon needed anything, but ultimately stay out of the way. He set himself up at a nearby cafe with a good view of the park’s playground.

Jaeyoon sat on a park bench and twiddled his thumbs nervously. He was a bit early so he scanned the crowd around the park, trying to kill time, until he saw a familiar figure walking toward him, tightly holding the hand of a small girl. He sucked in a breath and stood up as they got closer.

Youngbin seated himself near the window so he could keep an eye on Jaeyoon. He saw the younger man stand up out of the corner of his eye and figured the Hyejin must have finally arrived.

Jaeyoon took a deep breath to settle himself. As the pair got closer, his chest tightened; his daughter was absolutely adorable and he was kicking himself for not fighting to see her sooner. “Hi, Hyejin,” he said before kneeling down, “hi, Seoyun.

Youngbin tried his best to focus on his work, but he couldn’t stop himself from watching Jaeyoon and Seoyun out the window.

Seoyun hid behind Hyejin’s legs and mumbled a quiet “hi.” Jaeyoon didn’t blame her for being shy, how could he? But a small part of him still worried that this wasn’t a good sign. “I know I missed your birthday, but I still wanted to bring you something,” he said. He fished the small box out of his pocket and extended it towards his daughter. It was only a simple pin she could put on her backpack for school, but Jaeyoon wanted for her to at least have something from him.

Youngbin finally forced himself to get to work. He felt like he was intruding on a private family moment by watching.

“She doesn’t need any-“ Hyejin stopped when Seoyun stepped out from behind her and reached for the box. “It’s just a little pin, but you can use it to decorate your backpack,” Jaeyoon said. Seoyun's eyes widened when she opened the box and pulled out the small bear. “Mama, look it’s so cute! Thank you,” she said before retreating back to Hyejin’s side. Jaeyoon smiled softly. “You’re welcome, baby. Does she know?” he asked, standing again. Hyejin simply nodded.

Youngbin hoped that everything was going well. He wouldn’t put it past Hyejin to give Jaeyoon a hard time.

“It’s nice, sweetie,” Hyejin said, but Jaeyoon had a feeling that the pin wouldn’t find itself anywhere near Seoyun’s backpack. “You don’t need to bribe her with goodies, she’s not a baby,” Hyejin said flatly. Jaeyoon’s eyes widened and he took a step back. “That...that wasn’t my intention,” he said dropping his eyes, “I just wanted her to have something from me.”

Youngbin could barely concentrate. He was so worried about Jaeyoon. His boyfriend would be heartbroken if Seoyun didn’t like him.

“Well I guess if that’s it, we’ll be going,” Hyejin said suddenly. Jaeyoon fumbled for something, anything to say, but he was coming up empty. “Will I ever see you again?” Seoyun asked, peering up at her father. Jaeyoon’s chest tightened as he met his daughter’s curious eyes. “I hope so,” he replied simply. “We’ll see,” Hyejin said, “now say your goodbyes. We have to get going, grandma is waiting for us.” Seoyun pulled away from Hyejin to lock her arms around Jaeyoon’s legs. “Bye, daddy, thank you for the bear pin,” she said before skipping back to her mother’s side. Jaeyoon smiled fondly. “Bye, Seoyun, you go have fun today,” he said as he watched them walk away. When they were out of eyesight, he collapsed back onto the bench, a smile still playing on his lips.

When Youngbin glanced out the window next, he noticed that Jaeyoon was alone again. Carefully, he packed up his belongings and left the cafe. “How did it go?” He asked as he approached Jaeyoon.

Jaeyoon quickly wiped away the tear that had formed in the corner of his eye. “It went okay. Hyejin rushed her away, but I’m not surprised,” he took a deep breath, “she’s so perfect, hyung. I wish...I wish I could have been there for her sooner.” The guilt was slowly piling itself onto the tower of worry Jaeyoon felt and he was incredibly overwhelmed.

“The important part is that you’re here for her now,” Youngbin said, running his hand through Jaeyoon’s hair soothingly. He was proud of his boyfriend.

"Thanks, babe," Jaeyoon said, mustering a small smile, "come on, let's go home." He stood from the bench and took Youngbin's hand in his own. He still wasn't entirely relieved and he clutched onto his boyfriend as if his life depended on it throughout their whole drive home.

“You know, speaking of home,” Youngbin said slowly, “my lease is up at the beginning of December.”

Jaeyoon paused for a moment. Living together was a big step and although he thought they were ready for it, he was still scared what would happen if they didn't work out. "Well we have been practically living together the past couple of months so if you want, you could permanently move in with me. Although I understand if you want your own place," Jaeyoon said carefully.

“We have a few more months to decide,” Youngbin said reassuringly, “I just wanted to put the idea out there.”

Jaeyoon nodded slowly and heaved a sigh of relief when he got home. All he could do now was go to work and hope that Hyejin called him again so he could see Seoyun.

Youngbin smiled softly. He would be happy to live with Jaeyoon for real, but he was also glad that they had time to try it out first.

Jaeyoon was more than relieved when they finally got home. He threw himself down on the couch and wrapped himself around a pillow. On top of being worried about never seeing Seoyun again; he hadn't heard anything from Seokwoo recently.

Youngbin wrapped himself around Jaeyoon on the couch. “It’s all okay,” he murmured.

Jaeyoon settled in Youngbin's arm and sighed loudly. He could feel the tension slowly draining from his body and he was so incredibly grateful for the older man. His boyfriend had managed to keep him sane for the rest of the weekend, but by the time Monday rolled around, he was a bundle of worry again.

Seokwoo kept to himself come Monday morning. He raised his monitor to block his face and ignored anyone who asked questions about the bruise blooming on his cheek. On the other end of the floor, Juho was happily going about his day, practically unaffected. Seokwoo couldn’t wait for this day to be over.

By the end of the day, Jaeyoon couldn't take it anymore so he once again snuck himself upstairs. He gasped quietly when he noticed the bruise on Seokwoo's cheek and slowly walked over to the younger man's desk. The guilt was rising in his chest and he had no idea how his coworker would react to seeing him. 

Seokwoo was glad that Taeyang hung around after the day was over to wait for him to finish up. He had an after hours meeting with HR and he had no idea what he would do if Juho managed to corner him. He noticed movement on the other end of the floor and looked up to see Jaeyoon. He smiled tightly.

Jaeyoon sighed sadly and approached Seokwoo's desk. "I know I'm probably the last person you want to see, but I wanted to come check on you. You don't have to tell me what happened, but is there anything I can do?" he asked slowly. 

“It’s fine, sunbaenim, really,” Seokwoo said with a sigh, “I confronted him about stuff after you talked to me the other day and well...” He gestured at his face. “Needless to say, we’re not together anymore.”

"I'm so sorry it came to this, but I'm glad you're away from him," Jaeyoon said supportively. He still felt horrible; the younger man looked terrified and he almost wondered if this did more harm than good.

“I am too,” Seokwoo said, “I’m glad he never escalated to violence with Youngbin hyung. I’m going to talk to HR now and see what they can do to keep us from crossing paths at all.”

Jaeyoon smiled softly. "I'm sure once you explain everything they'll make sure he doesn't bother you. Hell they might even consider firing him, but one step at a time," he said. 

Seokwoo glanced at his watch. “I have to go or I’ll be late and I don’t want to keep the poor rep waiting,” he said apologetically, “Thank you for waking me up, really. We should get dinner together sometime, Youngbin hyung too. I want to apologize to him in person.”

Jaeyoon nodded. "Of course. You should come over one night this week. Go get to your meeting and let me know when is best for you. I'm sure Youngbin hyung would love to see you," he said. He bid a final goodbye to Seokwoo and headed home, feeling much better than he had in weeks.

Seokwoo thanked Jaeyoon a final time before he and Taeyang headed downstairs to meet with HR. Hopefully, this would all end on a positive note.

“Hi, hyung," Jaeyoon called chipperly when he finally got home. He kicked his shoes off and dropped his briefcase by the door and headed through the apartment looking for his boyfriend.

Youngbin was curled up in bed, battling a raging headache. He’d already taken painkillers, to no relief, and now he was just waiting for Jaeyoon to get home and somehow manage to magically make it better.

Jaeyoon was a little surprised when Youngbin didn't call back a greeting, but he quickly found his boyfriend laying in bed. "Oh, hyung, what's wrong?" he asked as he gently sat on the edge. He had been with Youngbin long enough to know after one look that the elder wasn't feeling well.

“Headache,” Youngbin mumbled, “c’mere, make it better.” He was half asleep at this point, not quite all there.

"Oh, baby," Jaeyoon murmured. He laid down next to Youngbin and pulled the elder into his arms. "Do you want me to get you anything?" he asked quietly, placing a gentle kiss to his boyfriend's forehead.

“Just you,” Youngbin mumbled, “and please shut the door.” He whined in pain when Jaeyoon’s phone started ringing a moment later.

Jaeyoon carefully stood up from the bed and walked back into the living room where his phone was. He was just planning on silencing it, but he froze when he saw Hyejin's name written on the screen. "Hi, Hyejin," he greeted quietly. To be honest, he wasn't expecting his ex to call him again so he had no idea what to anticipate with this phone call.

Youngbin flung his sweatshirt covered arm over his eyes, blocking out the light in hopes of stemming the migraine. He hated headaches more than anything.

"Seoyun wants to see you again." Jaeyoon couldn't hid the smile that spread across his face. "I would love to see her again, but I want to bring Youngbin with me," he said. "That really won't be necess-" Jaeyoon quickly cut her off. "Look, I don't particularly care what you've told her, but Youngbin means as much to me as your fiancé means to you and I think it's just as important for him to meet Seoyun." Hyejin sighed. "Just don't be disappointed if her opinion of you changes." Jaeyoon sighed angrily; he sincerely hoped Hyejin didn't try to ruin Seoyun's opinion of him. After making plans to see them next week, he silenced his phone and went back to the bedroom.

Youngbin gravitated toward Jaeyoon the moment he got back in bed. “Did you eat?” He mumbled.

"I'll eat in a little bit, hyung, don't worry. Just get some sleep," Jaeyoon murmured soothingly. He gathered Youngbin tightly in his arms and gently combed his fingers through the elder's hair.

“It’s already so late,” Youngbin mumbled. He wanted to offer to make Jaeyoon something, but he knew he’d probably throw up if he tried to get out of bed.

"I'll be okay," Jaeyoon said gently, "once you fall asleep, I'll go eat." He wasn't particularly hungry, but he would get himself some dinner if that made Youngbin happy.

“Who was on the phone?” Youngbin asked, voice muffled by Jaeyoon’s neck. He was hiding his face to keep the light away.

"Hyejin. I'll tell you how it went when you feel better," Jaeyoon said. He was doing his best to coax Youngbin to sleep, but it obviously wasn't working very well.

“Gonna see Seoyun again?” Youngbin asked, but he was barely tuned in enough to listen to the answer. He didn’t know if it had to do with the way Jaeyoon smelled or the warmth he felt when the younger man held him, but he could never stay awake in his boyfriend’s arms.

Jaeyoon simply hummed an affirmative. He was excited to tell Youngbin that he could come this time, but that would have to wait until the older man was feeling better. For now, Jaeyoon just continued to hold his boyfriend close.

Youngbin’s mind was long gone before Jaeyoon even attempted to answer. His body relaxed as he finally fell asleep.

Jaeyoon was glad when Youngbin finally fell asleep. Eventually he carefully got up and made them something simple for dinner. He put Youngbin's portion in the fridge for later and ducked into the bathroom for a quick shower. Before he knew it he was crawling back into bed and wrapping himself around his boyfriend again.

Youngbin was glad that he felt better when he woke up. His head still ached, but not nearly as much as it had before. He didn’t bother to get up though; it was the middle of the night and he was comfortable.

Jaeyoon blinked his eyes open when he felt movement against his side. "Hi, there. How do you feel?" he asked sleepily.

“Better,” Youngbin mumbled, suddenly realizing that he had to pee, “go back to sleep, it’s like two in the morning.” He carefully extracted himself and padded into the bathroom.

Jaeyoon rolled over and wrapped himself around a pillow. His eyes slowly closed, but couldn't fall back asleep until Youngbin was back in his arms. At this point he wasn't sure if that was more because even the smallest noises kept him awake or if he had become too dependent on sleeping with the older man.

Youngbin did his business, washed his hands, and stumbled around to turn off all the lights that had accidentally been left on before finally returning to bed. “Your pillow is in my spot,” he whined.

Jaeyoon groaned quietly and rolled himself back over so he was out of Youngbin's way. "There," he mumbled sleepily, keeping his back towards the older man.

“The pillow was in the way, not you,” Youngbin said with a pout as he got settled. Despite his protest, he happily latched himself onto Jaeyoon’s back.

Jaeyoon hummed contentedly and snuggled back towards Youngbin. Even though his boyfriend was a bit smaller than him, his body heat was incredibly comforting and Jaeyoon was well on his way to falling back asleep.

Youngbin knocked out almost immediately. He was simply exhausted. Before he did so, he made sure to kiss behind Jaeyoon’s ear and mumble an “I love you.”

Jaeyoon smiled softly. He tried to say “I love you too,” but it came out more as a tired groan. Hopefully Youngbin understood, but he wasn’t awake long enough to find out. Before he knew it, he was untangling himself from Youngbin’s grasp so he could get to work.

The rest of the week passed uneventfully and soon it was Saturday. Youngbin and Jaeyoon were going to meet Hyejin and Seoyun at the same park as last time, and Youngbin would be lying if he said he wasn’t nervous.

Jaeyoon found himself sitting on the same park bench as he had a few weeks ago, except this time he had Youngbin's hand clutched tightly in his own. "There they are," he whispered when he finally saw Hyejin and Seoyun approaching them.

"Oh, she's adorable," Youngbin whispered back as he and Jaeyoon stood up. He bowed slightly to Hyejin when she and Seoyun stopped in front of them.

Jaeyoon smiled tightly as he stood; Hyejin looked less than thrilled and it did nothing to calm his nerves. “Hi, sweetie,” he greeted Seoyun chipperly, “this is Youngbin and he wanted to come meet you.” Seoyun looked up at Youngbin curiously. “Are you one of daddy’s friends?”

Youngbin glanced at Jaeyoon then nodded with a smile. "I'm daddy's  _ best _ friend," he said proudly. This little girl was so adorable and Youngbin was so glad that Jaeyoon had achieved this.

Hyejin scoffed and Jaeyoon had to force himself not to roll his eyes. “A little birdie told me that somebody here is starting to take dance lessons.” He feigned not knowing who in the group to look at, while Seoyun giggled happily. “Daddy, it’s me!” she finally said after a few moments when Jaeyoon still hadn’t seemed to figure it out.

Youngbin stepped back a little bit, letting Jaeyoon have time with his daughter. It was obvious that Hyejin was less than happy about him being there so he kept himself out of the way. He didn't want to jeopardize Jaeyoon's chances of getting to see Seoyun again.

Jaeyoon felt bad that Youngbin couldn’t be more involved, but as long as Hyejin was relatively pleasant, he considered that a win. Seoyun was so excited to talk about her dance classes and was even willing to show Jaeyoon some of the things she was learning. He was so grateful that she was friendlier than her mother and he quickly lost track of time. 

Youngbin retreated to the bench to let Jaeyoon have more time with his daughter. It was amazing to see them together; Seoyun was a spitting image of her father. By the time Hyejin decided it was time to go, Youngbin could more than tell that Jaeyoon was smitten. He was too.

It was even harder to say goodbye this time, but Jaeyoon put on a smile and hugged his daughter tightly. “I’ll see you soon,” he whispered before regretfully letting go. After a final goodbye, he headed back over to where Youngbin was sitting.

"She's adorable," Youngbin said when Jaeyoon finally came back over to him, "I'm glad that this is all working out." 

Jaeyoon smiled wider. “She really is. I’m just glad Hyejin hasn’t entirely ruined what she thinks of me,” he said softly, “ready to go home?”

"Yeah," Youngbin said with a fond smile, "let's go home."


End file.
